....At this point I'm embararessed(spelling I'm sure) to write some of these posts, but i have no one else to tell. These are dark times indeed. Indeed. Ever since I got off of painkillers it's been absolute f'n confusion. I haven't been able to balance things back out, it's been total loss of control.
I can't find a common ground. I never contemplated the magnitude of what taking those for so long and then instantly stop taking them might be like. It's madness. I can't settle things back down. Always be cautious when taking any chemicals, especially when prescribed. The affect on your own natural physiology is crazy.
Edit...should be usual by know....😉
Some quick music stuff before I black out. It's amazing how sometimes your problem is not the step at hand but the step before. Even more is amazing is how sometimes you can learn from the arts. Instead of focusing to far ahead just try and focus a step back, no dount I'm sure, if you can apply when in the moment. 🙂
I'm about four months into learning his song, and a bit more for the art in general, which makes it more fun as i'm sure the seasoned know. Good times..🙂.....I'm defininately going to save for some lessons in the future. I'll tell ya this, I'm all for learning things the hard way, been doing it all my life, and it hasn't worked out...🙂,...so I'm going to ask for some guidance. We don't have forever, ya know?
Hopefully that thought will transcend like the aforementioned step thought, ya know? I heard once...''Your best thinking got you this far'', .....LMAO....at least for me that's oh so true. At this rate, all bullshitting aside, I'll be dead in a few years. I don't even want to get into what I've been doing to my body but its bad, I feel it physically. I'm just not well right now and don't have the answers.
My only solution has been music. It keeps me from full blown self destruction because I'm curious to hear someday what I've been working so hard on.
A quick thought on vocals before things turn. Growing up and all through out my life I struggled with speech. In grade school and even earlier I took speech classes, I don't have an exact reason why but now I can describe a disconnect. It's affected me more than I can get into now....*Note for later*....A wierd thing for sure.
The last.....year and a half now of vocal exercises has been wild. Not only using your voice but breaking down language structure has been surreal. It's been fun and very educating at that . Going back to the ''step thing'', sometimes it's all about the word or syllable prior that makes the difference. Which is common knowledge to those who have been there but new stuff to a f**k like me. 🙂
For that ''note for later''... yeah....the song I've been practicing to learn for the last couple months is for a friend of mine that was killed some years ago. She was hit while walking by a drunk driver and ....that was it. In those early years we went ot the same speech classes and then SO much more....🙂...Ima rock that thing for her someday, I bet she'd like it....🙂
I'm sure there's something I'm missing but that's it for now. I'll close with some songs that honor Ally, I'll add another when I finish this thing...
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...a very late edit: Blowin' tears for ya babe , I'll get there...🙂
I can't find a common ground. I never contemplated the magnitude of what taking those for so long and then instantly stop taking them might be like. It's madness. I can't settle things back down. Always be cautious when taking any chemicals, especially when prescribed. The affect on your own natural physiology is crazy.
Edit...should be usual by know....😉
Some quick music stuff before I black out. It's amazing how sometimes your problem is not the step at hand but the step before. Even more is amazing is how sometimes you can learn from the arts. Instead of focusing to far ahead just try and focus a step back, no dount I'm sure, if you can apply when in the moment. 🙂
I'm about four months into learning his song, and a bit more for the art in general, which makes it more fun as i'm sure the seasoned know. Good times..🙂.....I'm defininately going to save for some lessons in the future. I'll tell ya this, I'm all for learning things the hard way, been doing it all my life, and it hasn't worked out...🙂,...so I'm going to ask for some guidance. We don't have forever, ya know?
Hopefully that thought will transcend like the aforementioned step thought, ya know? I heard once...''Your best thinking got you this far'', .....LMAO....at least for me that's oh so true. At this rate, all bullshitting aside, I'll be dead in a few years. I don't even want to get into what I've been doing to my body but its bad, I feel it physically. I'm just not well right now and don't have the answers.
My only solution has been music. It keeps me from full blown self destruction because I'm curious to hear someday what I've been working so hard on.
A quick thought on vocals before things turn. Growing up and all through out my life I struggled with speech. In grade school and even earlier I took speech classes, I don't have an exact reason why but now I can describe a disconnect. It's affected me more than I can get into now....*Note for later*....A wierd thing for sure.
The last.....year and a half now of vocal exercises has been wild. Not only using your voice but breaking down language structure has been surreal. It's been fun and very educating at that . Going back to the ''step thing'', sometimes it's all about the word or syllable prior that makes the difference. Which is common knowledge to those who have been there but new stuff to a f**k like me. 🙂
For that ''note for later''... yeah....the song I've been practicing to learn for the last couple months is for a friend of mine that was killed some years ago. She was hit while walking by a drunk driver and ....that was it. In those early years we went ot the same speech classes and then SO much more....🙂...Ima rock that thing for her someday, I bet she'd like it....🙂
I'm sure there's something I'm missing but that's it for now. I'll close with some songs that honor Ally, I'll add another when I finish this thing...
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...a very late edit: Blowin' tears for ya babe , I'll get there...🙂
