Welcome to the second installment of Carsomyr Contemplates.
Today as I surfed the web, I came across something truly glorious... The topic of this blog will be:
Religious fundies, racists and utter lunatics - what happens when you get it all in one package?
Have you heard of Fred Phelps, founder of the Westboro Baptist Church? You know... the guy with that website called Godhatestheworld.com
Yeah, that guy.
Ever thought he was too sissylike in his hatred for gays, tsunami-victims and dead soldiers? Well, these people do. They claim that he and his church is "too liberal and lukewarm". Even the supporters of Mr. Phelps on this site admit that the dress code for the women in his church is a bit lax.
Are these people for real?!? Yes. Yes they are. You can't make something like this up. And please, do check out all the links added in this blog. You won't be able to stop laughing, because this seems taken out of bizarro-world.
I have spent the good part of my day checking out this so-called Landover Baptist Church, and it's not just their forum that is filled with cooks and idiots - they also have a very nice website (http://www.landoverbaptist.org) where one article in particular caught my eyes.
I don't want to turn this blog into a discussion about American Healthcare, but even if you're against the proposed reforms you have to admit it's pretty insane when these religious fundies try to angle the whole thing to claim that Obama is going to order residents of every nursing home in America outside and simply shoot them all, when he REALLY should be focusing on more important issues such as mandating morning prayers over loud speakers to the Lord Jesus Christ in public schools.
You know, I studied the drawing in this article, made by a homeschooled kid (public schools will brainwash your children and turn them into communists). First I noted how clearly racist the presentation of Obama was, but then my eyes "wandered east" and I lol'd up one of my kidneys. Maybe it's my dirty mind, but "Pastor Fred" just seems TOO happy to see little Twig. XD
The article blames Obama for all the scared children, but to be honest I think it's these fundamentalists who get their kids all worked up in the first place. Let's go back to that little forum of theirs, because it's a real goldmine: These people want to ban the use of crayons, since after the tip is worn down the crayon apparently starts resembling a penis. And not only that, but since Obama got into office they have started making the crayons "negro-sized", because we all know that Obama is in charge of marketing these tools of satan!
One of the Reverends of the church then actually decides to join the conversation, after someone suggested that maybe we should put some sort of toxic, yet non-lethal, material in crayons so kids will learn their lesson if they eat them. "This might steer them away from other phallic shaped things, like hot dogs and brats."
Quite a shocking point of view... So did the reverend set the record straight? Well... you decide:
Again, I remind you folks. This is 100% real.
The discussion goes on, and along the way we learn that the word "metre" is prohibited on this forum, because we should "refrain from using eurosexual metric curse words on God's favorite forum." So there! Ultimately we conclude that all the little children must be equipped with crayon sharpeners at all times, to prevent the crayons from gaining any different shape. And of course, most importantly, we must administer corporal punishment (without mercy) to little demons who don't keep their crayons sharp! And of course, Black crayons are allowed only when coloring wiccas, KJV Bibles, and prison bars (where most non-white folks belong).
This thread then degenerates into some good old Canada-trashing, but seriously, these people can't even mock Canada properly! Instead they end up discussing (I kid you not) whether or not Canada has talking beavers welcoming people into the country. Well... I suppose anything is possible?
And so this goes on, in thread, after thread, after thread. It is quite glorious, to be honest. In another thread they are trying to "save" an unbeliever. Usually these people are banned, but this is a special case as the quotes below will tell you:
Am I the only one thinking "closet perv" here? Also, if you want to check if these quotes are real, here be link just for you.
These people are amazing. This thread also teaches us that they believe Mexican is a language, and in heaven people only speak English. Indeed, speaking any other language is, in fact, unforgivable!
This forum is hillarious, so go out there and read some threads for yourself! Maybe you'll find a real gem, and if you do, feel free to share with me! 😀
These guys are officially more insane than the people who believe that the Earth is flat.
Today as I surfed the web, I came across something truly glorious... The topic of this blog will be:
Religious fundies, racists and utter lunatics - what happens when you get it all in one package?
Have you heard of Fred Phelps, founder of the Westboro Baptist Church? You know... the guy with that website called Godhatestheworld.com
Yeah, that guy.
Ever thought he was too sissylike in his hatred for gays, tsunami-victims and dead soldiers? Well, these people do. They claim that he and his church is "too liberal and lukewarm". Even the supporters of Mr. Phelps on this site admit that the dress code for the women in his church is a bit lax.
Are these people for real?!? Yes. Yes they are. You can't make something like this up. And please, do check out all the links added in this blog. You won't be able to stop laughing, because this seems taken out of bizarro-world.
I have spent the good part of my day checking out this so-called Landover Baptist Church, and it's not just their forum that is filled with cooks and idiots - they also have a very nice website (http://www.landoverbaptist.org) where one article in particular caught my eyes.
I don't want to turn this blog into a discussion about American Healthcare, but even if you're against the proposed reforms you have to admit it's pretty insane when these religious fundies try to angle the whole thing to claim that Obama is going to order residents of every nursing home in America outside and simply shoot them all, when he REALLY should be focusing on more important issues such as mandating morning prayers over loud speakers to the Lord Jesus Christ in public schools.
You know, I studied the drawing in this article, made by a homeschooled kid (public schools will brainwash your children and turn them into communists). First I noted how clearly racist the presentation of Obama was, but then my eyes "wandered east" and I lol'd up one of my kidneys. Maybe it's my dirty mind, but "Pastor Fred" just seems TOO happy to see little Twig. XD
The article blames Obama for all the scared children, but to be honest I think it's these fundamentalists who get their kids all worked up in the first place. Let's go back to that little forum of theirs, because it's a real goldmine: These people want to ban the use of crayons, since after the tip is worn down the crayon apparently starts resembling a penis. And not only that, but since Obama got into office they have started making the crayons "negro-sized", because we all know that Obama is in charge of marketing these tools of satan!
One of the Reverends of the church then actually decides to join the conversation, after someone suggested that maybe we should put some sort of toxic, yet non-lethal, material in crayons so kids will learn their lesson if they eat them. "This might steer them away from other phallic shaped things, like hot dogs and brats."
Quite a shocking point of view... So did the reverend set the record straight? Well... you decide:
Again, I remind you folks. This is 100% real.
The discussion goes on, and along the way we learn that the word "metre" is prohibited on this forum, because we should "refrain from using eurosexual metric curse words on God's favorite forum." So there! Ultimately we conclude that all the little children must be equipped with crayon sharpeners at all times, to prevent the crayons from gaining any different shape. And of course, most importantly, we must administer corporal punishment (without mercy) to little demons who don't keep their crayons sharp! And of course, Black crayons are allowed only when coloring wiccas, KJV Bibles, and prison bars (where most non-white folks belong).
This thread then degenerates into some good old Canada-trashing, but seriously, these people can't even mock Canada properly! Instead they end up discussing (I kid you not) whether or not Canada has talking beavers welcoming people into the country. Well... I suppose anything is possible?
And so this goes on, in thread, after thread, after thread. It is quite glorious, to be honest. In another thread they are trying to "save" an unbeliever. Usually these people are banned, but this is a special case as the quotes below will tell you:
Random Reverend said:
Random Pastor said:
Am I the only one thinking "closet perv" here? Also, if you want to check if these quotes are real, here be link just for you.
These people are amazing. This thread also teaches us that they believe Mexican is a language, and in heaven people only speak English. Indeed, speaking any other language is, in fact, unforgivable!
This forum is hillarious, so go out there and read some threads for yourself! Maybe you'll find a real gem, and if you do, feel free to share with me! 😀
These guys are officially more insane than the people who believe that the Earth is flat.
