A common theme that seems prevalent in my life is the need for bold actions and words. I've had it forced down my throat while in the service, and it took a few years to get accustomed to taking initiative with many things. I remember in my early days in the service, I'd frequently get my ass chewed for not calling customers to pick up their repaired equipment, or not wanting to do it multiple times in a day or week, because I would think it would be a fruitless endeavor.
"Why haven't you called such-and-such battalion to pick up their shit? It's been in the maintenance cycle for 20+ days, and the maintenance chief is pissed!"
"I called last week, and they said they're gonna be in the field, this week."
"How long?"
"(long pause)... I don't know. I didn't ask that."
"Get on the damn phone, and get me a definite time. I want that gear gone TODAY!"
Many times, I'd be unable to get a hold of anyone, or wouldn't know an alternate avenue to take to get the required result. For a Lance Corporal who frequently dealt with Corporals, Sergeants, and Staff Sergeants, in a career where rank was the equivalent of dick size in prick-waving contests, boldness never came easily. Especially when you never wanted to risk someone thinking your dick was too big and chopping it off. Overtime, after multiple ass-chewings, difficult lessons learned, and a couple promotions, boldness came a little more easily. However, rank always seemed like a muscle that was present, but rarely needed to actually be exercised to get something done.
Now, I'm no longer in a career where rank means anything, and my "boldness muscle" has atrophied from lack of use. Well, perhaps not quite atrophied, but it takes a bit more effort to bring it forth. In general, I feel that I'm far better-suited to politeness with an underlying boldness ("Speak softly and carry a big stick?" 😕 ). Since I'm now in a career where my customers are not in the same boat with me as fellow service members, but they're actually paying for a service that I provide, I exercise a professional politeness towards them, even when they make me wait (Nowadays, I can actually GET fired!). At times, it's frustrating, because customers can seem downright rude when they ignore my presence, even when I greet them (in a bold manner which they can hear.). I combat the rudeness by smiling at them sincerely and ignoring it. I think the customers that really piss me off are the ones that acknowledge that they were ignoring me.
"I'm sorry I went over my time-limit. I hope you don't mind."
My professional politeness encryption: "You're okay, sir/man/miss. How ya doin' today?"
Decrypted: "I DO mind, actually. I've got about 50 more stops to do, today, and banks that I'll have to make it to before they close, but you saw fit to ignore me to address a printer problem that has NOTHING to do with signing for your change order or giving me your deposit, and is still going to be here after I leave. Now, when I show up late to my other customers, I'll be delayed there, for similar excuses, such as 'My bad! I was expectin' you guys an hour ago. Now I got my head up my ass!' It's all down-hill from here, thanks to you."
I have coworkers who would simply walk out on this situation, or demand that the customer hurry up, seethe while constantly checking their watch, throw a fit, etc. I can't take this approach, because we're not supposed to walk out on customers without supervisor approval, especially when we have a delivery for them. I also do not feel that it's appropriate or productive to make a customer feel like crap while trying to prepare a shipment. As I said, it's frustrating at times, and I'm definitely in the minority at my job, but after a bit of time and customer familiarity, it's showing results. I've found that customers are more prone to helping you quickly if they know you and like you.
I'm not really sure what the point of all this is, since a person can be polite AND bold, but from my experience, it seems a rarity. People seem to gravitate towards one extreme or the other. You're either a boisterous asshole, or a quiet doormat. I know very few people who can achieve that fine-line balance of bold and courteous. It all goes back to the two main styles of leadership that I learned in the Marine Corps: authoritative and persuasive. Authoritative leaders are the ones who command obedience without question.
"Do it now, because I said so. You don't need a reason. Just do it!"
Though both types of leadership are taught, there's always been an underlying bias towards this style, because in general, people respond more quickly to anger and fear. I prefer the persuasive style, though it's more difficult to accomplish. It requires that you get people to do what you want by convincing them that it's in their best interests to help you. This isn't always easy to accomplish when you're on a short timescale, you're dealing with difficult people, or you simply can't explain your reasoning. In general, though, I've found it imperative to open my mouth to get things done.
Recently, a new position opened up at my job (more responsibility, more pay, etc.) that I was going to apply for. It's actually one step higher than the position I've been working towards filling. Given that I have a newly built house with a large mortgage, HOA fees, and that I just took a $243-a-month pay-cut from my VA disability being recouped (Talk about a kick in the balls.), I figure I could use any increase in pay that I can get. I also wouldn't mind an increase in responsibility to keep my brain occupied and challenged. Yesterday, I briefly mentioned to a coworker (who shares that position.) that I was considering applying. Mysteriously that evening, my manager approached me to tell me that he was going to make me a full-time messenger (the position that I've originally been trying to fill.). I can't help but wonder if this is just the natural order of business at my company right now, or if opening my mouth about my plans directly/indirectly resulted in this good news. I'm also wondering if I should still apply for the position that's a step above (boldness), or if I should take what was provided to me, without my direct interference or bitching (quiet patience.) and see where that takes me.
Overall, I guess the ongoing dilemma I face is the "Let go and let God"/"God helps those who help themselves" debate. I feel like I'm in a world where people preach "You can act, or be acted upon." However, I've always been patient and found that patience is an often under-appreciated virtue that can yield results, as well. In the past, I've had a boss who always took the authoritative, bold approach to all his dealings with people, and he burned a LOT of bridges due to personality conflicts. I'm torn as far as which is better.
"Why haven't you called such-and-such battalion to pick up their shit? It's been in the maintenance cycle for 20+ days, and the maintenance chief is pissed!"
"I called last week, and they said they're gonna be in the field, this week."
"How long?"
"(long pause)... I don't know. I didn't ask that."
"Get on the damn phone, and get me a definite time. I want that gear gone TODAY!"
Many times, I'd be unable to get a hold of anyone, or wouldn't know an alternate avenue to take to get the required result. For a Lance Corporal who frequently dealt with Corporals, Sergeants, and Staff Sergeants, in a career where rank was the equivalent of dick size in prick-waving contests, boldness never came easily. Especially when you never wanted to risk someone thinking your dick was too big and chopping it off. Overtime, after multiple ass-chewings, difficult lessons learned, and a couple promotions, boldness came a little more easily. However, rank always seemed like a muscle that was present, but rarely needed to actually be exercised to get something done.
Now, I'm no longer in a career where rank means anything, and my "boldness muscle" has atrophied from lack of use. Well, perhaps not quite atrophied, but it takes a bit more effort to bring it forth. In general, I feel that I'm far better-suited to politeness with an underlying boldness ("Speak softly and carry a big stick?" 😕 ). Since I'm now in a career where my customers are not in the same boat with me as fellow service members, but they're actually paying for a service that I provide, I exercise a professional politeness towards them, even when they make me wait (Nowadays, I can actually GET fired!). At times, it's frustrating, because customers can seem downright rude when they ignore my presence, even when I greet them (in a bold manner which they can hear.). I combat the rudeness by smiling at them sincerely and ignoring it. I think the customers that really piss me off are the ones that acknowledge that they were ignoring me.
"I'm sorry I went over my time-limit. I hope you don't mind."
My professional politeness encryption: "You're okay, sir/man/miss. How ya doin' today?"
Decrypted: "I DO mind, actually. I've got about 50 more stops to do, today, and banks that I'll have to make it to before they close, but you saw fit to ignore me to address a printer problem that has NOTHING to do with signing for your change order or giving me your deposit, and is still going to be here after I leave. Now, when I show up late to my other customers, I'll be delayed there, for similar excuses, such as 'My bad! I was expectin' you guys an hour ago. Now I got my head up my ass!' It's all down-hill from here, thanks to you."
I have coworkers who would simply walk out on this situation, or demand that the customer hurry up, seethe while constantly checking their watch, throw a fit, etc. I can't take this approach, because we're not supposed to walk out on customers without supervisor approval, especially when we have a delivery for them. I also do not feel that it's appropriate or productive to make a customer feel like crap while trying to prepare a shipment. As I said, it's frustrating at times, and I'm definitely in the minority at my job, but after a bit of time and customer familiarity, it's showing results. I've found that customers are more prone to helping you quickly if they know you and like you.
I'm not really sure what the point of all this is, since a person can be polite AND bold, but from my experience, it seems a rarity. People seem to gravitate towards one extreme or the other. You're either a boisterous asshole, or a quiet doormat. I know very few people who can achieve that fine-line balance of bold and courteous. It all goes back to the two main styles of leadership that I learned in the Marine Corps: authoritative and persuasive. Authoritative leaders are the ones who command obedience without question.
"Do it now, because I said so. You don't need a reason. Just do it!"
Though both types of leadership are taught, there's always been an underlying bias towards this style, because in general, people respond more quickly to anger and fear. I prefer the persuasive style, though it's more difficult to accomplish. It requires that you get people to do what you want by convincing them that it's in their best interests to help you. This isn't always easy to accomplish when you're on a short timescale, you're dealing with difficult people, or you simply can't explain your reasoning. In general, though, I've found it imperative to open my mouth to get things done.
Recently, a new position opened up at my job (more responsibility, more pay, etc.) that I was going to apply for. It's actually one step higher than the position I've been working towards filling. Given that I have a newly built house with a large mortgage, HOA fees, and that I just took a $243-a-month pay-cut from my VA disability being recouped (Talk about a kick in the balls.), I figure I could use any increase in pay that I can get. I also wouldn't mind an increase in responsibility to keep my brain occupied and challenged. Yesterday, I briefly mentioned to a coworker (who shares that position.) that I was considering applying. Mysteriously that evening, my manager approached me to tell me that he was going to make me a full-time messenger (the position that I've originally been trying to fill.). I can't help but wonder if this is just the natural order of business at my company right now, or if opening my mouth about my plans directly/indirectly resulted in this good news. I'm also wondering if I should still apply for the position that's a step above (boldness), or if I should take what was provided to me, without my direct interference or bitching (quiet patience.) and see where that takes me.
Overall, I guess the ongoing dilemma I face is the "Let go and let God"/"God helps those who help themselves" debate. I feel like I'm in a world where people preach "You can act, or be acted upon." However, I've always been patient and found that patience is an often under-appreciated virtue that can yield results, as well. In the past, I've had a boss who always took the authoritative, bold approach to all his dealings with people, and he burned a LOT of bridges due to personality conflicts. I'm torn as far as which is better.
It was very vivid and detailed...