Recently, I confirmed I was ghosted and then (when I asked him specifically about it) kink shamed by a fellow kinkster. Worse, he is into tickling just like I am. Even worse, he was someone whom I thought was a friend. Bluntly put, I kinda liked the guy (didn't mean to- these things happen), which made me first feel a little stupid, but now I'm feeling exactly how I feel in my title. I am a grown woman! I like tickling, and I'm not sorry!🤷ðŸ¿*♀ï¸
Now- I honestly think he was deflecting/ gaslighting me for being called out on failing to communicate his boundaries, and just being too afraid in general to be honest with me. What he did was incredibly unkind, and you just don't do that to anyone that you consider a friend. But it's done. And since he chose the kink shaming route to justify a shitty thing that he did, I'm bringing that part up. Particularly because he isn't the only person to do this to me recently. (The kink shaming... not the other thing.)
Listen- I get it though! (The other thing, Not the Kink Shaming LOL 😆)
Everyone has their likes and dislikes, and everyone has their boundaries. I know that I am a pretty intense individual, and with that, I know 100% that I am NOT for everyone. I learned this fact about myself years ago. People either adore me, or they take off running. And that's fine. However, if you are too afraid of me to speak up and let me know that I am too much for you, you don't get to also try to shame me for being exactly who I told you I was from the very beginning.
Why Am I Even Doing This Tickling Thing?
This is what I learned during the cursed year of 2020. A year, by the way, where I lost absolutely everything. My employment, my health, my friends, my marriage... By Christmas, I was sitting in an empty apartment with no furniture utterly alone. I had to start all over. I learned that 1- Nothing in life is promised to you. 2- Life is too short to not live it to the fullest.
The fact of the matter is that on the outside, my life is as vanilla as they come. I have a job where this world will and should NEVER cross. (And I don't want it to) And outside of that job, I was used to indulging and enjoying love, sex, and all that the fetish world entailed for me (with the person I loved deeply) pretty much on a daily basis. When my marriage ended abruptly, I had two choices. I could have chosen to lock that part of myself away to live a life of pent up wishes and desires, or do exactly what I have been doing ALL ALONG (well before I got married)! And I chose option B- Living a dual life of professionalism by day and fetishism by night.
The Shaming
I was told that I "wanted it more" (than he did- truth) and that I "hit the ground running." (truth) I guess that was in response to the fact that I chose NOT to sit alone isolated in my apartment anymore waiting, and that I decided to find other people in my area who were just like me. And not only did I find them, but I created events so that they could find each other. And even more daring.... I actually played with some of the people whom I had met. Hmmm.... Because why not? Refer to title.
A friend that I recently met coined it as Friends With Tickling. (Thanks GG) And why the hell not? Can I have friendships without tickling? Yes! And I do! And yes, that includes friends into tickling whom I do not have to tickle. It's a whole thing, you know. LOL
But I can also have friends whom I do tickle. And I do. It's fun! Is tickling with those friends ever sexual? Not really- For me, it is not an automatic response, and they are not mutually inclusive (tickling and sex). I have to like you- I have to be into you in order for it to be this way for me. But if it is sensual.... If I happen to be into in that way... So the FUCK WHAT!!? I am grown! 🤷ðŸ¿*â™€ï¸ If I find consenting adults who are like-minded... why not? (If not... try to bow out gracefully- especially if you care about the person.)
And really- These people (my shamers) who come out of the woodwork to speak on what I am doing, they always say they are friends. Sigh- Except, I didn't hear from them when I was jobless, penniless, when I had a dangerous case of Covid for 2 months, when my marriage was ending, when my best friend almost died of a heart attack, when Nashville got bombed, when Nashville was covered with ice, when Nashville was hit with tornadoes, when Nashville was flooded, when I was in and out the hospital, when I had absolutely nothing and was completely alone. (2020-2021) They only come out to tell me that I'm too active with this whole tickling thing. 🤦ðŸ½*♀ï¸
Not At All Sorry-
Sooooo--- I like it. and I'm not sorry. I'm probably going to keep hosting events. I'm probably going to keep chatting up folks who like it too. I'm probably going to be tickled and tickle others from time to time (which I hope is a lot). And chances are, I'm probably going to find a someone (a tickler- and more than likely a foot guy cause fuck I honestly like it, UGH- to admit that shit 😫 LOL 😆) who really, really, really turns me on, who I am into, who I cannot get enough of. And- I'm probably going to want to see them, spend time with them, talk to them, and play with them more than anybody else.
Guess what? It's allowed. And it feels absolutely amazing. Why?
I Like Tickling, and I'm Not Sorry... 🤷ðŸ¿*♀ï¸
Now- I honestly think he was deflecting/ gaslighting me for being called out on failing to communicate his boundaries, and just being too afraid in general to be honest with me. What he did was incredibly unkind, and you just don't do that to anyone that you consider a friend. But it's done. And since he chose the kink shaming route to justify a shitty thing that he did, I'm bringing that part up. Particularly because he isn't the only person to do this to me recently. (The kink shaming... not the other thing.)
Listen- I get it though! (The other thing, Not the Kink Shaming LOL 😆)
Everyone has their likes and dislikes, and everyone has their boundaries. I know that I am a pretty intense individual, and with that, I know 100% that I am NOT for everyone. I learned this fact about myself years ago. People either adore me, or they take off running. And that's fine. However, if you are too afraid of me to speak up and let me know that I am too much for you, you don't get to also try to shame me for being exactly who I told you I was from the very beginning.
Why Am I Even Doing This Tickling Thing?
This is what I learned during the cursed year of 2020. A year, by the way, where I lost absolutely everything. My employment, my health, my friends, my marriage... By Christmas, I was sitting in an empty apartment with no furniture utterly alone. I had to start all over. I learned that 1- Nothing in life is promised to you. 2- Life is too short to not live it to the fullest.
The fact of the matter is that on the outside, my life is as vanilla as they come. I have a job where this world will and should NEVER cross. (And I don't want it to) And outside of that job, I was used to indulging and enjoying love, sex, and all that the fetish world entailed for me (with the person I loved deeply) pretty much on a daily basis. When my marriage ended abruptly, I had two choices. I could have chosen to lock that part of myself away to live a life of pent up wishes and desires, or do exactly what I have been doing ALL ALONG (well before I got married)! And I chose option B- Living a dual life of professionalism by day and fetishism by night.
The Shaming
I was told that I "wanted it more" (than he did- truth) and that I "hit the ground running." (truth) I guess that was in response to the fact that I chose NOT to sit alone isolated in my apartment anymore waiting, and that I decided to find other people in my area who were just like me. And not only did I find them, but I created events so that they could find each other. And even more daring.... I actually played with some of the people whom I had met. Hmmm.... Because why not? Refer to title.
A friend that I recently met coined it as Friends With Tickling. (Thanks GG) And why the hell not? Can I have friendships without tickling? Yes! And I do! And yes, that includes friends into tickling whom I do not have to tickle. It's a whole thing, you know. LOL
But I can also have friends whom I do tickle. And I do. It's fun! Is tickling with those friends ever sexual? Not really- For me, it is not an automatic response, and they are not mutually inclusive (tickling and sex). I have to like you- I have to be into you in order for it to be this way for me. But if it is sensual.... If I happen to be into in that way... So the FUCK WHAT!!? I am grown! 🤷ðŸ¿*â™€ï¸ If I find consenting adults who are like-minded... why not? (If not... try to bow out gracefully- especially if you care about the person.)
And really- These people (my shamers) who come out of the woodwork to speak on what I am doing, they always say they are friends. Sigh- Except, I didn't hear from them when I was jobless, penniless, when I had a dangerous case of Covid for 2 months, when my marriage was ending, when my best friend almost died of a heart attack, when Nashville got bombed, when Nashville was covered with ice, when Nashville was hit with tornadoes, when Nashville was flooded, when I was in and out the hospital, when I had absolutely nothing and was completely alone. (2020-2021) They only come out to tell me that I'm too active with this whole tickling thing. 🤦ðŸ½*♀ï¸
Not At All Sorry-
Sooooo--- I like it. and I'm not sorry. I'm probably going to keep hosting events. I'm probably going to keep chatting up folks who like it too. I'm probably going to be tickled and tickle others from time to time (which I hope is a lot). And chances are, I'm probably going to find a someone (a tickler- and more than likely a foot guy cause fuck I honestly like it, UGH- to admit that shit 😫 LOL 😆) who really, really, really turns me on, who I am into, who I cannot get enough of. And- I'm probably going to want to see them, spend time with them, talk to them, and play with them more than anybody else.
Guess what? It's allowed. And it feels absolutely amazing. Why?
I Like Tickling, and I'm Not Sorry... 🤷ðŸ¿*♀ï¸
