This week has been quite draining on just about every level for me. Work hasn't been too bad and actually a refreshing change to get back to the routine of it though it is tiring me physically, though just a bit. There have been a mountain of thoughts and feelings swirreling in my head of late and I can't seem to arrange them or make full sense of them.
I have a number of friends who confide in me when they have trouble. They can trust me as I keep whatever is said between myself and that friend and I do my best to offer some advice to the friend in need. Lately though, I seem to be making promises I can't keep. 🙁 My mantra is that whenever someone needs a person to talk to or an ear to listen that I am there if they need me...but during this last week it is becoming apparent that some of my friends can't reach me when they want to talk to me and it is frustrating them.
I feel helpless for not being there for them and stupid for making a promise and not keeping it: that is not what I am about and it drives me insane to think that this is happening and I'm letting it happen. If this is a funk, then this is a good one as the one I had before disappeared thanks to NEST but now there is no major event on the horizon to negate this one.
Right now I am considering my choices, including taking a break from posting on the forum and just lurking for a while. (As in coming on only to respond to PMs and check stuff but not post.) I do need some time to sift through my head and get this jumbled mess of thoughts and feelings settled. I need to determine if I am actually keeping my promises or if I'm not, because the latter to me makes me question my trustworthiness in the eyes of my friends and others.
I need to figure myself out and hopefully soon. My posts/blogs can't always be positive but they are my thoughts for the day so I needed to get them out of my head and onto something.
Later
Josh
I have a number of friends who confide in me when they have trouble. They can trust me as I keep whatever is said between myself and that friend and I do my best to offer some advice to the friend in need. Lately though, I seem to be making promises I can't keep. 🙁 My mantra is that whenever someone needs a person to talk to or an ear to listen that I am there if they need me...but during this last week it is becoming apparent that some of my friends can't reach me when they want to talk to me and it is frustrating them.
I feel helpless for not being there for them and stupid for making a promise and not keeping it: that is not what I am about and it drives me insane to think that this is happening and I'm letting it happen. If this is a funk, then this is a good one as the one I had before disappeared thanks to NEST but now there is no major event on the horizon to negate this one.
Right now I am considering my choices, including taking a break from posting on the forum and just lurking for a while. (As in coming on only to respond to PMs and check stuff but not post.) I do need some time to sift through my head and get this jumbled mess of thoughts and feelings settled. I need to determine if I am actually keeping my promises or if I'm not, because the latter to me makes me question my trustworthiness in the eyes of my friends and others.
I need to figure myself out and hopefully soon. My posts/blogs can't always be positive but they are my thoughts for the day so I needed to get them out of my head and onto something.
Later
Josh
