I thought that would be a funny word. Anyway, I'm frickin' irritatedly bored. There is zero stimulation in my life, right now. I don't mean as far as this damned fetish, or anything even remotely sexual. For starters, I'm thinkin' this dead computer issue may be a good thing, as much as I hate it. That friggin' "lit rectangle", as the Onion puts it, served as one hell of a distraction that keeps me occupied and lulled. Until I find another copy of Windows to reformat the damned thing, I'm free to seek out other activities to entertain me. The big problem is that NOTHING APPEALS TO ME.
I'm in a slump, with no immediate desire to do anything. I'm guessing that's depression, but I don't know to what degree, since I'm not "slit-your-wrist-mopey-woe-is-me" depressed. I'm pretty functional, especially at work. That may be because work is a good distraction, but that's another story, and unfortunately, I have to clock out sometime. Also, I've got days like today, where I'm off. The LOGICAL thing would be to be spending extra time with my son, teaching him and doing everything I can to make sure he grows from an awesome little boy into an awesome adult. I feel like a major dick for admitting this, but right now, I just can't fake the funk. I need to do something specifically for me, which I feel that I haven't had in a long time. I feel like I've been catering to the needs and wants of others for so long that I forgot how to have fun. Until I get some form of brain-candy to sate my hunger, other aspects of my life (the ones that don't pay me to do stuff) are suffering because of it. There's a hole, and it needs filling (That's what SHE said! lol ).
After work, I've been coming home and passing out on the couch until my wife wakes me up to put our son to bed. After that, I'm stuck awake while she stares at HER lit rectangle all night, as I sit on the couch, bored with everything on tv, until she decides that because SHE'S tired, it's time we BOTH go to bed. Sometimes, she might break the silence to tell me about something she wants to get or do that will ultimately cost us money that we don't have. I'll find myself irritated by her suggestions, though I'm not sure whether that stems from the money, the fact that she doesn't take cost into consideration, or that she's able to identify what she wants when nothing comes to mind for me. If we were a governing entity with a budget, I feel like she's got the lobbying power over the budget and I'm just along for the ride. However, I can't really say that I'm in a good state of mind to be making the big decisions, anyway. It is what it is, I guess. Meh. I just needed to bitch again. I'm sick of slow, T9 typing.
I'm in a slump, with no immediate desire to do anything. I'm guessing that's depression, but I don't know to what degree, since I'm not "slit-your-wrist-mopey-woe-is-me" depressed. I'm pretty functional, especially at work. That may be because work is a good distraction, but that's another story, and unfortunately, I have to clock out sometime. Also, I've got days like today, where I'm off. The LOGICAL thing would be to be spending extra time with my son, teaching him and doing everything I can to make sure he grows from an awesome little boy into an awesome adult. I feel like a major dick for admitting this, but right now, I just can't fake the funk. I need to do something specifically for me, which I feel that I haven't had in a long time. I feel like I've been catering to the needs and wants of others for so long that I forgot how to have fun. Until I get some form of brain-candy to sate my hunger, other aspects of my life (the ones that don't pay me to do stuff) are suffering because of it. There's a hole, and it needs filling (That's what SHE said! lol ).
After work, I've been coming home and passing out on the couch until my wife wakes me up to put our son to bed. After that, I'm stuck awake while she stares at HER lit rectangle all night, as I sit on the couch, bored with everything on tv, until she decides that because SHE'S tired, it's time we BOTH go to bed. Sometimes, she might break the silence to tell me about something she wants to get or do that will ultimately cost us money that we don't have. I'll find myself irritated by her suggestions, though I'm not sure whether that stems from the money, the fact that she doesn't take cost into consideration, or that she's able to identify what she wants when nothing comes to mind for me. If we were a governing entity with a budget, I feel like she's got the lobbying power over the budget and I'm just along for the ride. However, I can't really say that I'm in a good state of mind to be making the big decisions, anyway. It is what it is, I guess. Meh. I just needed to bitch again. I'm sick of slow, T9 typing.
It was very vivid and detailed...