After the events that unfolded on my birthday, and.. before.. it leaves me to wonder.. who can I trust.. who do I put effort through to?
No one in my family, except my mom.. and my first cousin, on Facebook.. called or wished me a Happy Birthday in any way. My father didnt acknowledge it for the second year in a row, after always doing so for 20 years prior. He and I are finished for the rest of his life. I made the mistake of my life by going to see him in 2009. I will never make that mistake again. He left me when my mom had cancer. I had better never be in a room with him again, unless it is in court, as I want to tear him apart for coercing me to come back to him, lying to me, and then dumping me when my mom had cancer.
My aunts: As I've posted, my mom and I had our birthdays this past week. Neither of my aunts called, wrote, or acknowledged the birthdays at all. For myself.,. whatever. For my mom.. we didnt even know if she would live to see this birthday. Last year in this time.. she had cancer.. which hopefully God willing is gone.
As I may have mentioned before. my mom and I literally saved my aunts from homelessness, many times. We paid their rent, extras, etc etc. I never expected anything in return.. but.. how the hell could they have not shown up in NJ during the three months we were there? A commuter town.... less than an hour from where they live. The doctors know my mom has two sisters. We met with the Drs every week. They said to me during the time we were there. "Mitch, how are you? Why are you going through this alone? Where are your aunts?" The doctors already knew that my father had dumped me, and how hideous that was.
All this, combined with the end of my relationship with my ex best friend while my mom had cancer. A man I loved like a brother, for 30 years..
Strangely enough, my mom seems unfazed by what my aunts did to her. She's expressed a few angry words, and told me she plans never to talk to either one of them again. I dont know if she's not expressing her true hurt.. or just put into perspective what is really important, since she hopefully has survived cancer.
I know that while I'm at a rather.. advanced age.. I still want to have a gf or wife one day, and hopefully children as well. After being fucked over by EVERYONE I loved most, except my mom and grandparents.. who can I trust?
I know it will get better in time. I'm feeling much better about my ex best friend than I did when it happened. I know I have to feel thankful not to have to talk to my father after what he did to me, and as for my aunts.. my aunt the artist has never been nice to me, and the astrologer used to love to call me up and give me negative readings about my life, and love life. At least I dont have to deal with that anymore.
I still have my friends Barney and Adam. I absolutely made the right decision by reconciling with Adam after 20 years, in 2010. The sad thing is: I lived 15 minutes from him for nearly ten years when i lived in NJ, and we werent talking, and now hes nearly 3 hrs from me. Hopefully that wont be for long, as my mom and I hope to move back to the NY area in 2013 at latest.
Anyhow, so thats it. Figured I'm best off posting this here. I'm just hoping after all that happened to me with my family, and ex best friend, that i can one day find a woman who I will trust. It's going to be a tall order. I know one thing, if I meet someone who judges me for not seeing my father.. or whose family tries to reconcile me with him, I will leave that person immediately. I know a relationship is a two way street, but.. I will be much more guarded than in the past, when it comes to trusting people, both future friends, and potential relationships.
Mitch
No one in my family, except my mom.. and my first cousin, on Facebook.. called or wished me a Happy Birthday in any way. My father didnt acknowledge it for the second year in a row, after always doing so for 20 years prior. He and I are finished for the rest of his life. I made the mistake of my life by going to see him in 2009. I will never make that mistake again. He left me when my mom had cancer. I had better never be in a room with him again, unless it is in court, as I want to tear him apart for coercing me to come back to him, lying to me, and then dumping me when my mom had cancer.
My aunts: As I've posted, my mom and I had our birthdays this past week. Neither of my aunts called, wrote, or acknowledged the birthdays at all. For myself.,. whatever. For my mom.. we didnt even know if she would live to see this birthday. Last year in this time.. she had cancer.. which hopefully God willing is gone.
As I may have mentioned before. my mom and I literally saved my aunts from homelessness, many times. We paid their rent, extras, etc etc. I never expected anything in return.. but.. how the hell could they have not shown up in NJ during the three months we were there? A commuter town.... less than an hour from where they live. The doctors know my mom has two sisters. We met with the Drs every week. They said to me during the time we were there. "Mitch, how are you? Why are you going through this alone? Where are your aunts?" The doctors already knew that my father had dumped me, and how hideous that was.
All this, combined with the end of my relationship with my ex best friend while my mom had cancer. A man I loved like a brother, for 30 years..
Strangely enough, my mom seems unfazed by what my aunts did to her. She's expressed a few angry words, and told me she plans never to talk to either one of them again. I dont know if she's not expressing her true hurt.. or just put into perspective what is really important, since she hopefully has survived cancer.
I know that while I'm at a rather.. advanced age.. I still want to have a gf or wife one day, and hopefully children as well. After being fucked over by EVERYONE I loved most, except my mom and grandparents.. who can I trust?
I know it will get better in time. I'm feeling much better about my ex best friend than I did when it happened. I know I have to feel thankful not to have to talk to my father after what he did to me, and as for my aunts.. my aunt the artist has never been nice to me, and the astrologer used to love to call me up and give me negative readings about my life, and love life. At least I dont have to deal with that anymore.
I still have my friends Barney and Adam. I absolutely made the right decision by reconciling with Adam after 20 years, in 2010. The sad thing is: I lived 15 minutes from him for nearly ten years when i lived in NJ, and we werent talking, and now hes nearly 3 hrs from me. Hopefully that wont be for long, as my mom and I hope to move back to the NY area in 2013 at latest.
Anyhow, so thats it. Figured I'm best off posting this here. I'm just hoping after all that happened to me with my family, and ex best friend, that i can one day find a woman who I will trust. It's going to be a tall order. I know one thing, if I meet someone who judges me for not seeing my father.. or whose family tries to reconcile me with him, I will leave that person immediately. I know a relationship is a two way street, but.. I will be much more guarded than in the past, when it comes to trusting people, both future friends, and potential relationships.
Mitch
