Sorry to hear you're having nightmares. Classes? Outside pressures? I know all too well that wanting what you can't have can slowly drive you insane. Your story reminds me of the Pink Floyd song "Comfortably Numb" - sans the drugs/alcohol induced haze. Or is that around the bend, too? Don't despair. There has to be an alternate route - or a better coping mechanism to take some of the edge off.
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