Continued…..
Writers Note: After completing the first half of my journal entry, I felt that I needed to explain why I broke it up into two entries. There were two things that I was holding on to, in this session. The first was obvious, the second you will learn later. I wanted to continue writing that night but there was something telling me not to. And I know this because when I was summing up the next scene in my mind, I felt cold, and I felt a little anxiety. So not only my body but my mind was telling me to wait, it was telling me to hold on to that part a little longer.*
We went back to the play room, I honestly wasn’t expecting the scene to continue. Before I go further, I have to clarify something. Two days before this scene, I spoke to my sub sister about my first Master and how it continues to affect me to this very day. And I don’t know if from that conversation was still settling in my mind, but Lord Ramirez felt it. I know he felt it. I know he knew I was holding on to something deeper. He asked me what it was that I was holding on to still so strongly, but I couldn’t answer.
He positioned me under the chains hanging from the ceiling, and cuffed my wrists above my head. My body facing him, I stared at him and at the table covered in his whips and floggers. He gazed back at me, it felt very intimidating, and then he spoke of me letting go. I told him that I did not think I was yet strong enough to do so, but he was eager to help me. He directed me to lift my head up as if I was looking for the sky. While staring up, he said that it’s time for me to let go, and as he spoke he stung my flesh with a powerful snap of his whip. The sting made my body shiver but I still refused. He continued to snap his whip onto random places of my front, I flinched every time and bit my lip, still not willing to let go. “It is now going to get very painful, don’t be afraid, you can let go”, he said. Taking deep breaths, the stinging became more unbearable, every snap of his whip on my nude front worsened. I closed my eyes, squeezing them tightly shut, only hoping that this was a dream; that the pain and agony I was going through wasn’t real. But the moment I opened my eyes, it was almost as if I saw my Master’s face. It was the same as if it was the day I dropped him off at the airport, he kissed me on my cheek and told me that he would come back for me. These images going through my head and the painful stings in addition, I began to tear. He stopped and came towards me and asked what happened. I still didn’t talk. So he turned my body to where my back was facing him. “You will talk and you will let go, you will cry and you will let go”, he said; once that last word left his mouth I felt the sting again. But this time it wasn’t just one sting at a time, it was continuous. The pain was now starting to get to me. But was it the pain from the whips snapping on my backside? Or was it the pain from actually trying to let go? I took a deep breath, and then released. I hung my head down and screamed “HE LEFT ME!!!!”.
Lord Ramirez stopped and stood in front of me, he stroked my damp cheek and told me it was okay. He looked into my eyes and said that this is just the beginning, and I have not yet let go and asked me if I was ready. I stared back into his dark eyes and nodded. He turned my body back to facing him, my legs began to tremble. But once I saw what he was holding the trembling spread from my legs to my entire body, he was holding his dragon tail whip. One of my most feared of all whips, my Master would use that for very harsh punishment at times. I couldn’t help but stare at him, I think he knew I was afraid. In fact, I kind of sensed that he enjoyed that I was frightened. I threw my head back and tried to concentrate on the ceiling and the chains. The thrashing on my skin began, the first strokes were not too bad for I was fixed on the ceiling, but my concentration did not last. The pounding on my front began to go endlessly, each one I felt I wept, I cried, and I screamed. I screamed for it to stop, I screamed for it to all just go away and disappear, I screamed to be invisible. While the powerful strikes continued, Lord Ramirez told me to turn around with my backside facing him. Just the simple task of turning around made me even more fearful, because I could not look into his eyes, and not see the expressions on his face. I hung my head down, pulling at my restraints, begging for it to stop. But I knew it wasn’t right yet, I was still holding on, I was sobbing for it to end, I was sobbing because I still held on. Why? Why was I holding on to it so deeply? I needed to let go, I couldn’t hold on to it anymore. At the tip of releasing him from my heart, I lost it. I lost all control and bawled, it was so painful but it had to be done. My body almost felt lifeless, I was barely holding myself up just to stand. Tears spilled from my eyes, my heart broke into pieces, it was agony. Lord Ramirez yield the dragon tail strikes and come up to my limp body and held me tightly. He released me from my restraints and turned me around facing him, and held me again, my head landing on his shoulder, I continued to cry. We stooped down to the floor and laid together, his arms around me and my arms around him. I wept more explaining what went wrong. My Master left me, he said he would come back but he never did. His job relocated him while I was still in school, and I could not go with him. He promised when I was finished he would come get me, but he never did. A year after he released me from his servitude he popped back into my life. He told me how he was in his new residence, and I was very happy to hear it, but more relieved to hear his voice. That moment my heart leaped and I thought this was when he was going to say he’s coming for me. But instead he informed me that he was happily married to a slave, my heart shattered, that was suppose to be me.
Lord Ramirez listened and then spoke of letting go, I now must be resurrected. It was time for me to restore what I once had in my heart. At first I was resistant because I was scared, but it was something that needed to be done; and I have gotten this far. We faced each other on the floor and he wrapped my hair in a damp cloth and instructed for me to lay face down. I stretched my body down on the floor, making myself as lengthy as possible. I cradled my face into my hands and closed my eyes, breathing deeply. He knelt along my body, and I felt a gel-like wetness on my lower back, alcohol. I then heard a click and felt warmth exploding in that one spot, fire. I squealed not from the pain but more from the shock, my legs again began to tremble. He then continued to do the same on my ass cheeks, and then my legs, and the back of my neck. Every flame lit was like an explosion of energy escaping my body. I now was instructed to turn over, my eyes still tearing, and again my legs still trembling. He lit a flame right above my pussy and then was preparing to light a flame over my heart. Tears escaped from my closed eyes, and the flame was lit, I screamed as if the life was being sucked out of me. He lit it again and patted the flame down, his hand still on my heart, I placed my hand on his. I held it there for a short moment and then released it. It was almost as if I was trying hold on to it just a little longer. But I let go, I let go for good.
Writers Note: After completing the first half of my journal entry, I felt that I needed to explain why I broke it up into two entries. There were two things that I was holding on to, in this session. The first was obvious, the second you will learn later. I wanted to continue writing that night but there was something telling me not to. And I know this because when I was summing up the next scene in my mind, I felt cold, and I felt a little anxiety. So not only my body but my mind was telling me to wait, it was telling me to hold on to that part a little longer.*
We went back to the play room, I honestly wasn’t expecting the scene to continue. Before I go further, I have to clarify something. Two days before this scene, I spoke to my sub sister about my first Master and how it continues to affect me to this very day. And I don’t know if from that conversation was still settling in my mind, but Lord Ramirez felt it. I know he felt it. I know he knew I was holding on to something deeper. He asked me what it was that I was holding on to still so strongly, but I couldn’t answer.
He positioned me under the chains hanging from the ceiling, and cuffed my wrists above my head. My body facing him, I stared at him and at the table covered in his whips and floggers. He gazed back at me, it felt very intimidating, and then he spoke of me letting go. I told him that I did not think I was yet strong enough to do so, but he was eager to help me. He directed me to lift my head up as if I was looking for the sky. While staring up, he said that it’s time for me to let go, and as he spoke he stung my flesh with a powerful snap of his whip. The sting made my body shiver but I still refused. He continued to snap his whip onto random places of my front, I flinched every time and bit my lip, still not willing to let go. “It is now going to get very painful, don’t be afraid, you can let go”, he said. Taking deep breaths, the stinging became more unbearable, every snap of his whip on my nude front worsened. I closed my eyes, squeezing them tightly shut, only hoping that this was a dream; that the pain and agony I was going through wasn’t real. But the moment I opened my eyes, it was almost as if I saw my Master’s face. It was the same as if it was the day I dropped him off at the airport, he kissed me on my cheek and told me that he would come back for me. These images going through my head and the painful stings in addition, I began to tear. He stopped and came towards me and asked what happened. I still didn’t talk. So he turned my body to where my back was facing him. “You will talk and you will let go, you will cry and you will let go”, he said; once that last word left his mouth I felt the sting again. But this time it wasn’t just one sting at a time, it was continuous. The pain was now starting to get to me. But was it the pain from the whips snapping on my backside? Or was it the pain from actually trying to let go? I took a deep breath, and then released. I hung my head down and screamed “HE LEFT ME!!!!”.
Lord Ramirez stopped and stood in front of me, he stroked my damp cheek and told me it was okay. He looked into my eyes and said that this is just the beginning, and I have not yet let go and asked me if I was ready. I stared back into his dark eyes and nodded. He turned my body back to facing him, my legs began to tremble. But once I saw what he was holding the trembling spread from my legs to my entire body, he was holding his dragon tail whip. One of my most feared of all whips, my Master would use that for very harsh punishment at times. I couldn’t help but stare at him, I think he knew I was afraid. In fact, I kind of sensed that he enjoyed that I was frightened. I threw my head back and tried to concentrate on the ceiling and the chains. The thrashing on my skin began, the first strokes were not too bad for I was fixed on the ceiling, but my concentration did not last. The pounding on my front began to go endlessly, each one I felt I wept, I cried, and I screamed. I screamed for it to stop, I screamed for it to all just go away and disappear, I screamed to be invisible. While the powerful strikes continued, Lord Ramirez told me to turn around with my backside facing him. Just the simple task of turning around made me even more fearful, because I could not look into his eyes, and not see the expressions on his face. I hung my head down, pulling at my restraints, begging for it to stop. But I knew it wasn’t right yet, I was still holding on, I was sobbing for it to end, I was sobbing because I still held on. Why? Why was I holding on to it so deeply? I needed to let go, I couldn’t hold on to it anymore. At the tip of releasing him from my heart, I lost it. I lost all control and bawled, it was so painful but it had to be done. My body almost felt lifeless, I was barely holding myself up just to stand. Tears spilled from my eyes, my heart broke into pieces, it was agony. Lord Ramirez yield the dragon tail strikes and come up to my limp body and held me tightly. He released me from my restraints and turned me around facing him, and held me again, my head landing on his shoulder, I continued to cry. We stooped down to the floor and laid together, his arms around me and my arms around him. I wept more explaining what went wrong. My Master left me, he said he would come back but he never did. His job relocated him while I was still in school, and I could not go with him. He promised when I was finished he would come get me, but he never did. A year after he released me from his servitude he popped back into my life. He told me how he was in his new residence, and I was very happy to hear it, but more relieved to hear his voice. That moment my heart leaped and I thought this was when he was going to say he’s coming for me. But instead he informed me that he was happily married to a slave, my heart shattered, that was suppose to be me.
Lord Ramirez listened and then spoke of letting go, I now must be resurrected. It was time for me to restore what I once had in my heart. At first I was resistant because I was scared, but it was something that needed to be done; and I have gotten this far. We faced each other on the floor and he wrapped my hair in a damp cloth and instructed for me to lay face down. I stretched my body down on the floor, making myself as lengthy as possible. I cradled my face into my hands and closed my eyes, breathing deeply. He knelt along my body, and I felt a gel-like wetness on my lower back, alcohol. I then heard a click and felt warmth exploding in that one spot, fire. I squealed not from the pain but more from the shock, my legs again began to tremble. He then continued to do the same on my ass cheeks, and then my legs, and the back of my neck. Every flame lit was like an explosion of energy escaping my body. I now was instructed to turn over, my eyes still tearing, and again my legs still trembling. He lit a flame right above my pussy and then was preparing to light a flame over my heart. Tears escaped from my closed eyes, and the flame was lit, I screamed as if the life was being sucked out of me. He lit it again and patted the flame down, his hand still on my heart, I placed my hand on his. I held it there for a short moment and then released it. It was almost as if I was trying hold on to it just a little longer. But I let go, I let go for good.
