Day Closer to Death

Okay so my birthday is this weekend, and I'm normally excited about my birthdays; but not this year. I am really dreading it, the closer the day draws near. Last year was exciting because it was my last day in Tampa FL, and my co workers threw a party together and I had a lot of fun. The year before that I got drunk with my roommate and sang songs on Rock Band way out of tune. I guess I'm just not happy about turning 23, because that's closer to 25. And I had a plan, right now where I am in my life, this isn't part of the plan. If I went according to plan I would probably still be in Tampa, working my dream job, out of credit card debit, possibly buying a new car, and maybe living in an apartment on my own. The way things are today, might as well have thrown those plans in the garbage. I don't know I am just really hard on myself, trust me; my mom tells me everyday. I have expectations for myself, and I'm alawys scared of not meeting those epxectations. And then I'm even more hard on myself. I'm not happy about getting older this year, because with the way things are now I feel like I'm a year behind.