Y'know, I've moved my blog over to a wordpress account. But I like this because it truly captures how quickly things for from up, to down.
Remember my earlier blog this afternoon about the car insurance? Major happy for me and still is.
I went off to work shortly after I made that blog. Work went well and during my shift I recieved a text message from him stating he had some money for me. Epic shit, I told him I'd be there after I got off, he said cool.
I head over there, still riding the mellow wave that the earlier stuff had brought on. Sit with my son a bit while he plays with his trucks, then go to find his father to do the reciept/money transaction.
Head into his room and he's trying to act like he's shocked I'm there and "woke" him up (he was wide awake and glued to his laptop; something he used to blame me for doing). I shrugged it off and he handed the money over.
A hundred bucks. Not too shabby. I sat down in the living room to write his reciept and deduct that from the massive bill he's well aware he still owes me. I walk back into his room and hand him the reciept and inform him that he owes me still a little under 400 bucks.
He loses his shit.
Calls me a snake, says all I'm "fucking worried about is his money" and I'll do anything for it. That he thought that I wasn't going to "jump on him" for the Child Support unless he "helps" by paying the car insurance.
He's already told me earlier this week that he's cancelling the car insurance so he can "afford" to pay me child support. (The man is a mechanic and makes 18+ an hour, mind you)
That's how I got my own car insurance ready to go.
He says he pays my cell-phone bill (he put us on a 2 year plan and told me to keep the phone because of me being out and about with the baby, incase something happens). He hasn't been caught up on that bill since we've been living together.
He said he got "fucked" by my lawyer into having to pay my health insurance (about 50 bucks or so a month). If the court thought this was unfair, they would've overruled it and he wouldn't have had to pay it. Or if his lawyer thought it wasn't correct, she would've advised him accordingly.
But that's all my fault, he says.
He said I was doing nothing but acting like a victim and whining about needing money all the time.
I kept my mouth shut for 5 weeks, when he owed me money and didn't say a word. And once it was brought up in conversation, he lost his shit and told me to "just fucking take me to cout".
Atop while this is happening (and what possibly hurt the most), is that Daniel comes in to see what's going on and his father sends him out so he doesn't see/hear him yelling at me.
So Daniel goes to the couch which is right near his father's room door and waits. When Dan more or less dismisses me, I go out the door and swallow the feeling of utter loser-ness, so my son doesn't have to see me cry. (Now I sound like a victim, eh?)
Well, Daniel goes walking into his father's room and asks him; "Why are you yelling at mama, daddy?" And his father says; "Because your mother is obsessed with money. You better not learn that from her."
So, I walked into the mud-room. Daniel comes in shortly after and tells me and his grandmother, "now I gotta yell" and starts trying to re-enact all the things he heard his father yelling to me about.
It was just terrible. The kid doesn't understand and the father doesn't care.
I have conflicted emotions right now. I feel angry and sad. I don't know which one I should feel more of though. I feel bad for Daniel, I feel bad for myself, I'm angry with the father, I'm angry with myself.
I'm sorry. I just needed to get this off my chest.
Thanks.
Edit: In the middle of this blog, it not even being 2 hours after he's said all that above; he calls me and tries to apologize and justify his means. Using a difficulty with his son as leverage for me to even listen to him on the phone.
That's how it is.
Remember my earlier blog this afternoon about the car insurance? Major happy for me and still is.
I went off to work shortly after I made that blog. Work went well and during my shift I recieved a text message from him stating he had some money for me. Epic shit, I told him I'd be there after I got off, he said cool.
I head over there, still riding the mellow wave that the earlier stuff had brought on. Sit with my son a bit while he plays with his trucks, then go to find his father to do the reciept/money transaction.
Head into his room and he's trying to act like he's shocked I'm there and "woke" him up (he was wide awake and glued to his laptop; something he used to blame me for doing). I shrugged it off and he handed the money over.
A hundred bucks. Not too shabby. I sat down in the living room to write his reciept and deduct that from the massive bill he's well aware he still owes me. I walk back into his room and hand him the reciept and inform him that he owes me still a little under 400 bucks.
He loses his shit.
Calls me a snake, says all I'm "fucking worried about is his money" and I'll do anything for it. That he thought that I wasn't going to "jump on him" for the Child Support unless he "helps" by paying the car insurance.
He's already told me earlier this week that he's cancelling the car insurance so he can "afford" to pay me child support. (The man is a mechanic and makes 18+ an hour, mind you)
That's how I got my own car insurance ready to go.
He says he pays my cell-phone bill (he put us on a 2 year plan and told me to keep the phone because of me being out and about with the baby, incase something happens). He hasn't been caught up on that bill since we've been living together.
He said he got "fucked" by my lawyer into having to pay my health insurance (about 50 bucks or so a month). If the court thought this was unfair, they would've overruled it and he wouldn't have had to pay it. Or if his lawyer thought it wasn't correct, she would've advised him accordingly.
But that's all my fault, he says.
He said I was doing nothing but acting like a victim and whining about needing money all the time.
I kept my mouth shut for 5 weeks, when he owed me money and didn't say a word. And once it was brought up in conversation, he lost his shit and told me to "just fucking take me to cout".
Atop while this is happening (and what possibly hurt the most), is that Daniel comes in to see what's going on and his father sends him out so he doesn't see/hear him yelling at me.
So Daniel goes to the couch which is right near his father's room door and waits. When Dan more or less dismisses me, I go out the door and swallow the feeling of utter loser-ness, so my son doesn't have to see me cry. (Now I sound like a victim, eh?)
Well, Daniel goes walking into his father's room and asks him; "Why are you yelling at mama, daddy?" And his father says; "Because your mother is obsessed with money. You better not learn that from her."
So, I walked into the mud-room. Daniel comes in shortly after and tells me and his grandmother, "now I gotta yell" and starts trying to re-enact all the things he heard his father yelling to me about.
It was just terrible. The kid doesn't understand and the father doesn't care.
I have conflicted emotions right now. I feel angry and sad. I don't know which one I should feel more of though. I feel bad for Daniel, I feel bad for myself, I'm angry with the father, I'm angry with myself.
I'm sorry. I just needed to get this off my chest.
Thanks.
Edit: In the middle of this blog, it not even being 2 hours after he's said all that above; he calls me and tries to apologize and justify his means. Using a difficulty with his son as leverage for me to even listen to him on the phone.
That's how it is.
