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conversation through a bathroom wall

  • Author Author milagros317
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  • Blog entry read time Blog entry read time 2 min read
The apartment next to mine has been vacant since the end of October. The landlord is having it remodeled and modernized (presumably so it can be rented for a lot more than Mr. Kim, the previous tenant, was paying). For the last three days, in particular, I have been hearing hammering and banging through my bathroom wall. On the other side of that wall is the bathroom of the apartment of which I write.

Today, about an hour ago, I went into the bathroom to take a bath and found that the hot water was turned off; only air came out of the spout upon trying to get hot water. I was not happy.

"Son of a fucking bitch!" is what I said, quite loudly.

Here is the conversation that followed, the plumber and I talking through the bathroom wall. He had a Spanish accent but spoke mostly in English.

Me: "Son of a fucking bitch!"

Plumber: "Don't worry, your hot water will be back on in about ten minutes."

Me: "Thank you. Sorry that I cursed."

Plumber: "No problem, I would say the same thing if I wanted a shower and had no hot water. In fact, when I get home from here, if there is no hot water at home, I will say, '¡Hijo de la gran puta!' just as loudly as you said it."

Me: "Doesn't that mean 'Son of the big *****,'?"

Plumber: "Literally, word for word, that is exactly what it means. But even translating literally, I would put it as 'Son of the greatest *****.' In that sentence, 'gran' is referring to her reputation as a notorious *****, not to her size. If I were translating a novel and looking for the closest expression in English, I would use what you said, 'Son of a fucking bitch.'"

Me: "Ah, I see. Have you done any translation work?"

Plumber: "Yes, but I get $75 an hour doing plumbing."

My hot water was back ten minutes later.

I could not help but think, Only in New York City could such a conversation take place.

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milagros317
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2 min read
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