I'd been thinking a lot this past week about my father figure who passed at the end of September, hence the title of this entry. It was a running joke with us from back when we used to watch wrestling. The joke was the announcer would call a move, a corkscrew whatever and one of us would go "Aww shit! He did the corkscrew. It's all over now, he got this match won". Then on the off-chance the other wrestler did some "corkscrew" maneuver, then it was "holy shit! they both did a corkscrew. This will be the greatest match of all time". It was funny to us, because it usually happened during a WCW show, which, for the most part in our opinions, was the worst wrestling on tv. Hey, screw you, it was funny to us. 
I mention this because I've been missing him quite a bit the last couple weeks. He was a die-hard Eagles fan and I used to love watching Eagles' divisional games with him. If they were winning, we'd be joking about how well they were doing and how much NY/DAL/WAS was sucking ass. If Philly was losing, I had the fun of him flipping out, while I sat there and just rubbed it in more. Regardless, it was fun all around. After Philly destroyed the Giants this past week and the Eagles hosting the hated Cowboys (he fucking hated Dallas more than any other team), I realized I will never get to enjoy those games quite the same without him.
In related news, today is the 5th anniversary of the death of my paternal grandmother. Regrets? Yeah, I got 'em. I should've spent more time with her after my grandpop passed in 2001. It gives me some comfort that I stood with her there at the very end and she looked at me the day before and saw me. She knew I was there and it seemed to give her some comfort. Funny story about that...I hadn't spoken with her in about 3 years. But in the couple weeks before her death in 2004, I kept getting the urge to call her. I didn't because to get her number meant I'd have to talk to my dad, which I had no desire to do. Finally, on November 2nd, 2004, I said hell with it and called my dad to get her number. He acted kinda weird and said I needed to go see her because she was on her deathbed. Then he asked me why I felt I needed to call her all of a sudden. I was at a loss and could only say I just felt like I needed to talk to her. I should listen to my instincts more often, I guess.
In other news, Stacy and I went to the lawyer's office the other day about revising the custody to get the kid around her father less for her own mental and emotional safety. I gotta admit, the lawyer was a bit of a shock to me. He actually reminded me of Sam Elliot, except with a ponytail. He seemed like a very casual kind of guy and was pretty straightforward about everything. He seemed very confident that we'd get what we wanted for her, which is good. I dread sending her to dad's house anymore just because of what always comes back to us. The real worry now is when he finally gets served on this, he's gonna lose his fucking mind. And the major concern on that is he's going to take it out on the kid, which he most likely will. So naturally, that's on my mind.
On the work front, things are looking to improve. Boss just signed a contract that will start the first of the year which will not only give me plenty more hours, but will get my brother some extra money too. And since it'll happen during a time that we, like everyone else, will be recovering from X-Massconsumerism Day, it'll be a big help. So there's that.
I got a lot more friends to buy for this year. I really don't mind it from a financial standpoint. I enjoy giving gifts, like most others. It's the actual shopping I hate. I really am lazy by nature, so me and shopping don't mix at all. And that includes online shopping. If I don't find what I want right away, I usually end up saying fuck it and go off to play video games. But I feel my chosen family is definitely worth it. Speaking of which...
With all the shit I have weighing me down lately, I feel I haven't been a very good friend to both my online and offline friends the last couple weeks. I've been rather withdrawn, impatient and just all around not much fun to be around. I'm fairly certain it's just my head fucking with me, like it enjoys doing when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Still, it's not a good feeling to have. So to all my friends around here, always remember I love you all dearly. You are a great source of strength for me at times like this, though you'd never know it from how I act. For those that can't stand me and vice-versa, go fuck yourself. See? I'm still the same asshole you all know and love (or hate, depending on which side of me you stand on). I'll be back to some semblance of normal before you know it, so be ready. Or I'll be practicing my corkscrew maneuvers on you. 😛
I mention this because I've been missing him quite a bit the last couple weeks. He was a die-hard Eagles fan and I used to love watching Eagles' divisional games with him. If they were winning, we'd be joking about how well they were doing and how much NY/DAL/WAS was sucking ass. If Philly was losing, I had the fun of him flipping out, while I sat there and just rubbed it in more. Regardless, it was fun all around. After Philly destroyed the Giants this past week and the Eagles hosting the hated Cowboys (he fucking hated Dallas more than any other team), I realized I will never get to enjoy those games quite the same without him.
In related news, today is the 5th anniversary of the death of my paternal grandmother. Regrets? Yeah, I got 'em. I should've spent more time with her after my grandpop passed in 2001. It gives me some comfort that I stood with her there at the very end and she looked at me the day before and saw me. She knew I was there and it seemed to give her some comfort. Funny story about that...I hadn't spoken with her in about 3 years. But in the couple weeks before her death in 2004, I kept getting the urge to call her. I didn't because to get her number meant I'd have to talk to my dad, which I had no desire to do. Finally, on November 2nd, 2004, I said hell with it and called my dad to get her number. He acted kinda weird and said I needed to go see her because she was on her deathbed. Then he asked me why I felt I needed to call her all of a sudden. I was at a loss and could only say I just felt like I needed to talk to her. I should listen to my instincts more often, I guess.
In other news, Stacy and I went to the lawyer's office the other day about revising the custody to get the kid around her father less for her own mental and emotional safety. I gotta admit, the lawyer was a bit of a shock to me. He actually reminded me of Sam Elliot, except with a ponytail. He seemed like a very casual kind of guy and was pretty straightforward about everything. He seemed very confident that we'd get what we wanted for her, which is good. I dread sending her to dad's house anymore just because of what always comes back to us. The real worry now is when he finally gets served on this, he's gonna lose his fucking mind. And the major concern on that is he's going to take it out on the kid, which he most likely will. So naturally, that's on my mind.
On the work front, things are looking to improve. Boss just signed a contract that will start the first of the year which will not only give me plenty more hours, but will get my brother some extra money too. And since it'll happen during a time that we, like everyone else, will be recovering from X-Massconsumerism Day, it'll be a big help. So there's that.
I got a lot more friends to buy for this year. I really don't mind it from a financial standpoint. I enjoy giving gifts, like most others. It's the actual shopping I hate. I really am lazy by nature, so me and shopping don't mix at all. And that includes online shopping. If I don't find what I want right away, I usually end up saying fuck it and go off to play video games. But I feel my chosen family is definitely worth it. Speaking of which...
With all the shit I have weighing me down lately, I feel I haven't been a very good friend to both my online and offline friends the last couple weeks. I've been rather withdrawn, impatient and just all around not much fun to be around. I'm fairly certain it's just my head fucking with me, like it enjoys doing when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Still, it's not a good feeling to have. So to all my friends around here, always remember I love you all dearly. You are a great source of strength for me at times like this, though you'd never know it from how I act. For those that can't stand me and vice-versa, go fuck yourself. See? I'm still the same asshole you all know and love (or hate, depending on which side of me you stand on). I'll be back to some semblance of normal before you know it, so be ready. Or I'll be practicing my corkscrew maneuvers on you. 😛
