I used the term in quotation marks because he really isn't a father. He has emotionally abused me for 30 years, because he wanted to control me about who to see, and what to do. My maternal grandparents were just like my mom is, warm, loving, unconditionally giving, expecting nothing else from their children in return. My father's mother, and my father, on the other hand, were, and are, parents who believe you can treat your children shabbily, emotionally abuse them, and control their thoughts, feelings, rights, hopes, and dreams.
My father was far from a good husband to my mom. While he provided a nice life financially, he was often cold, verbally abusive, and inconsiderate of her feelings. He would say he was coming home for dinner, and not call if he didnt show up. He would erupt into vicious tirades, demanding I spend "Half time" with my paternal grandparents during trips to Florida, even though they were involved in their own lives, and really didnt want me around.
Then, there was his treatment of me. He would call me useless, a failure, tell me how awful I look. I want to make this next part clear. While I know there are members of all sexual orientations on this forum, and I respect all, and am friends with members of all orientations, I have always been straight. My father, for no reason, in the 1980s, used to ask me if I was a homosexual, because I had no confidence, and didnt have a girlfriend. He used the dread "F" word to ask me if I was homosexual, and had an insipid smirk on his face.
As most forum members know, he did not call me or contact me when I was diagnosed with high bp in 2005. He's made outrageous statements to me, to try and take me away from my mom, saying "Some people are closer to their stepmothers". This, in spite of the fact, that his wife married him when we were estranged, not caring that we were.
While my mom was in the hospital, my father did not call her, to ask how she was feeling. I had to prod him while I was on the phone with him to please speak to her. That shouldnt be. There should be a code of decency, considering the fact that, on January 23, 1970, my mom gave him what should have been his greatest gift, me.
I cant help but think that my father will be thrilled if heaven forbid my mom's diagnosis comes to pass, and she God forbid passes away. He becomes quite financially advantaged if this happens, as her alimony stops, and I would then likely have to see his wife, Cheryl, who has dumped all over me, giving him his "Complete life", while Sweet Sheila, my mom, goes to heaven early, and Mitch is heartbroken. Alan, my father, gains in all ways. I know that if God Forbid my mom doesnt make it, I have to lean on my aunt for emotional support, as my aunt and mom are very close, and she will be just as shattered as I am. As for my father, I will have to take what I can get from him, which wont be much.
What a contrast in parents. The best mother ever, and the father from hell. He and I have been estranged for a total of 16 years between 1989, and our reunion last summer. What an irony. If God forbid I lose my mom, the man who lived just fine without me for 16 years, says he will "Be there to support me". I hope he lives up to his word, because he has broken so many promises to me. My aunt, I know, will be devestated, and I can lean on her.
So, that's "Dad" in a nutshell.
Mitch
My father was far from a good husband to my mom. While he provided a nice life financially, he was often cold, verbally abusive, and inconsiderate of her feelings. He would say he was coming home for dinner, and not call if he didnt show up. He would erupt into vicious tirades, demanding I spend "Half time" with my paternal grandparents during trips to Florida, even though they were involved in their own lives, and really didnt want me around.
Then, there was his treatment of me. He would call me useless, a failure, tell me how awful I look. I want to make this next part clear. While I know there are members of all sexual orientations on this forum, and I respect all, and am friends with members of all orientations, I have always been straight. My father, for no reason, in the 1980s, used to ask me if I was a homosexual, because I had no confidence, and didnt have a girlfriend. He used the dread "F" word to ask me if I was homosexual, and had an insipid smirk on his face.
As most forum members know, he did not call me or contact me when I was diagnosed with high bp in 2005. He's made outrageous statements to me, to try and take me away from my mom, saying "Some people are closer to their stepmothers". This, in spite of the fact, that his wife married him when we were estranged, not caring that we were.
While my mom was in the hospital, my father did not call her, to ask how she was feeling. I had to prod him while I was on the phone with him to please speak to her. That shouldnt be. There should be a code of decency, considering the fact that, on January 23, 1970, my mom gave him what should have been his greatest gift, me.
I cant help but think that my father will be thrilled if heaven forbid my mom's diagnosis comes to pass, and she God forbid passes away. He becomes quite financially advantaged if this happens, as her alimony stops, and I would then likely have to see his wife, Cheryl, who has dumped all over me, giving him his "Complete life", while Sweet Sheila, my mom, goes to heaven early, and Mitch is heartbroken. Alan, my father, gains in all ways. I know that if God Forbid my mom doesnt make it, I have to lean on my aunt for emotional support, as my aunt and mom are very close, and she will be just as shattered as I am. As for my father, I will have to take what I can get from him, which wont be much.
What a contrast in parents. The best mother ever, and the father from hell. He and I have been estranged for a total of 16 years between 1989, and our reunion last summer. What an irony. If God forbid I lose my mom, the man who lived just fine without me for 16 years, says he will "Be there to support me". I hope he lives up to his word, because he has broken so many promises to me. My aunt, I know, will be devestated, and I can lean on her.
So, that's "Dad" in a nutshell.
Mitch
