I guess my title is a lil bit click-bait-y. Purposely. 🤓
My full question is, when it comes to befriending individuals who are harmlessly so far away, is it improv or kink on stage, or are we really being ourselves?
I feel like some of us at times engage because it is fun. It is a connection (perhaps not completely genuine) that grants us the ability to talk about something that we are into whether we are able to engage in it IRL or not. It is just fun to be charming or flirty or the online person of the OP's dreams when we know darn well that sometimes it is all an act. Maybe we are NOTHING like the person we have portrayed. Digital, fantasy, personality catfishing... if you will.
To be clear, there are things that are much worse. Trying to force a meeting when there is no connection at all- Improv or otherwise. For example- I always say that no one comes to Nashville. And that is completely UNTRUE! There are tickle lovers who do come to Nashville. They always send me a blind message (never spoken to them before- don't know who they are- didn't know they were coming) saying that they are here and they would like to meet me and play with me. One even insisted that I meet him at the airport during his layovers (multiple times- and got mad when I said I was uncomfortable). Another one insisted that we meet for play that was either paid or unpaid. He offered both (how generous). One told me to get dressed (it was pretty late on a weekday) and come to his hotel for a drink NOW. He didn't understand that Nashville IS an hour from Nashville, and I was already in bed for the night NOR that I didn't know him at all. I prefer the Improv. 😭
On the other hand... If I am enjoying chatting and getting to know an individual, sometimes they magically are into all the things I'm into. They are willing to come see me IN NASHVILLE. They are all that I could ever want in a lee, ler, switch..... They are charming, funny, and sweet. They are coming FOR SURE! But then somehow the conversation turns into... "You (Sunny) come see me. I can't travel right now. You set it up!"
Which reads as: Come to an unknown location far away from anyone you know to meet me at my spot. Doesn't matter how you get here or what it costs you to get here... Just come on! I'm the lee, ler, switch of your dreams, remember. Even though I have no references, no community footprint, I just joined the forum 5 days ago, I don't remember any of my past names, and no one knows who I am or has heard of me, and I don't go to public or private events, and I've sessioned with many nice tickle lovers - but I'm private and they're private and no one will tell you that they have met me..... do come on. Get in the water. It's nice. Remember- I'm the lee, ler, switch of your dreams....
And we all promise--- We're coming! I'm coming! We're going to definitely hang out! It will be a time!!!! Except, when I say I am coming, I actually am. I booked an entire trip once. Got the hotel, made plans, reserved stuff, paid all this money. Less than 24 hours before I was set to arrive (when everything is non-refundable), I was told the person had to work. No effort to say... Let's get a bite to eat after I get off... No apology... No ability to see that they have wasted a person's time and resources. Luckily, I knew some old TK friends (from 20 years ago) in the area. I was able to spend some time with them. I found out they were doing some sort of fetish-con in the hotel I was staying in. (LMAO- enjoyed my neighbors in the next room) I had some great food. And I promptly let this dude go.
But... if we're "friends" or we have a "connection" why couldn't the person just say they were unsure? Scared? Bailing out? Sunny! It was improv! This was just for show. They just enjoyed the conversation. It was nice enough to know that someone was willing to meet them. Their spouse wouldn't be down for it. They just want something different from what I want. They were in it for the chase.
Had a TK Friend who was a truck driver, and when he said he was rolling through Atlanta, you BEST BELIEVE my schedule was clear. RIP General Zod! We only had the police called on us once. 😅 Sure I was nervous the first time. But we were going to be friends forever after we finessed that cop. Good times! I miss him so much- STILL!
So- I had a great time in the chatroom yesterday. Really.... it reminded me of the old days when everyone was joking, sharing pictures, teasing each other... But the best moment was when many people of the room shared why they were here. And I don't mean just on TMF... I mean, what did they want from the community? What were their goals? And it was interesting and rather beautiful to hear what people had to say about what they really wanted.
AND THERE IT WAS! It wasn't that we lie. We just have to be honest about what we want. And honest about the fact that it may change over time. Certainly, if what we really want is clearly different than what the other person wants, just own that and maybe not position yourself to be the lee, ler, switch of their dreams when you really are not and don't really want to be. Is it fun? Absolutely, it is. I had a lot of fun yesterday. But the most fun I had was really connecting to people after hearing what they truly desired. It felt very special and felt authentic. It made my day.
Do we have to be the person that lee, ler, switch of someone's dreams? Do we have to say "Yes, AND!" and pretend? Or can we just be our authentic selves? Real answer? Are we afraid that if we are our authentic selves that no one would show interest? Or is this an endless game where if we didn't put on roles, we would never have a connection at all? Can we be our true selves? Ever?
It's a very interesting thing to think about.
Pretend the confession paragraph I typed is still here and not deleted.
My full question is, when it comes to befriending individuals who are harmlessly so far away, is it improv or kink on stage, or are we really being ourselves?
I feel like some of us at times engage because it is fun. It is a connection (perhaps not completely genuine) that grants us the ability to talk about something that we are into whether we are able to engage in it IRL or not. It is just fun to be charming or flirty or the online person of the OP's dreams when we know darn well that sometimes it is all an act. Maybe we are NOTHING like the person we have portrayed. Digital, fantasy, personality catfishing... if you will.
To be clear, there are things that are much worse. Trying to force a meeting when there is no connection at all- Improv or otherwise. For example- I always say that no one comes to Nashville. And that is completely UNTRUE! There are tickle lovers who do come to Nashville. They always send me a blind message (never spoken to them before- don't know who they are- didn't know they were coming) saying that they are here and they would like to meet me and play with me. One even insisted that I meet him at the airport during his layovers (multiple times- and got mad when I said I was uncomfortable). Another one insisted that we meet for play that was either paid or unpaid. He offered both (how generous). One told me to get dressed (it was pretty late on a weekday) and come to his hotel for a drink NOW. He didn't understand that Nashville IS an hour from Nashville, and I was already in bed for the night NOR that I didn't know him at all. I prefer the Improv. 😭
On the other hand... If I am enjoying chatting and getting to know an individual, sometimes they magically are into all the things I'm into. They are willing to come see me IN NASHVILLE. They are all that I could ever want in a lee, ler, switch..... They are charming, funny, and sweet. They are coming FOR SURE! But then somehow the conversation turns into... "You (Sunny) come see me. I can't travel right now. You set it up!"
Which reads as: Come to an unknown location far away from anyone you know to meet me at my spot. Doesn't matter how you get here or what it costs you to get here... Just come on! I'm the lee, ler, switch of your dreams, remember. Even though I have no references, no community footprint, I just joined the forum 5 days ago, I don't remember any of my past names, and no one knows who I am or has heard of me, and I don't go to public or private events, and I've sessioned with many nice tickle lovers - but I'm private and they're private and no one will tell you that they have met me..... do come on. Get in the water. It's nice. Remember- I'm the lee, ler, switch of your dreams....
And we all promise--- We're coming! I'm coming! We're going to definitely hang out! It will be a time!!!! Except, when I say I am coming, I actually am. I booked an entire trip once. Got the hotel, made plans, reserved stuff, paid all this money. Less than 24 hours before I was set to arrive (when everything is non-refundable), I was told the person had to work. No effort to say... Let's get a bite to eat after I get off... No apology... No ability to see that they have wasted a person's time and resources. Luckily, I knew some old TK friends (from 20 years ago) in the area. I was able to spend some time with them. I found out they were doing some sort of fetish-con in the hotel I was staying in. (LMAO- enjoyed my neighbors in the next room) I had some great food. And I promptly let this dude go.
But... if we're "friends" or we have a "connection" why couldn't the person just say they were unsure? Scared? Bailing out? Sunny! It was improv! This was just for show. They just enjoyed the conversation. It was nice enough to know that someone was willing to meet them. Their spouse wouldn't be down for it. They just want something different from what I want. They were in it for the chase.
Had a TK Friend who was a truck driver, and when he said he was rolling through Atlanta, you BEST BELIEVE my schedule was clear. RIP General Zod! We only had the police called on us once. 😅 Sure I was nervous the first time. But we were going to be friends forever after we finessed that cop. Good times! I miss him so much- STILL!
So- I had a great time in the chatroom yesterday. Really.... it reminded me of the old days when everyone was joking, sharing pictures, teasing each other... But the best moment was when many people of the room shared why they were here. And I don't mean just on TMF... I mean, what did they want from the community? What were their goals? And it was interesting and rather beautiful to hear what people had to say about what they really wanted.
AND THERE IT WAS! It wasn't that we lie. We just have to be honest about what we want. And honest about the fact that it may change over time. Certainly, if what we really want is clearly different than what the other person wants, just own that and maybe not position yourself to be the lee, ler, switch of their dreams when you really are not and don't really want to be. Is it fun? Absolutely, it is. I had a lot of fun yesterday. But the most fun I had was really connecting to people after hearing what they truly desired. It felt very special and felt authentic. It made my day.
Do we have to be the person that lee, ler, switch of someone's dreams? Do we have to say "Yes, AND!" and pretend? Or can we just be our authentic selves? Real answer? Are we afraid that if we are our authentic selves that no one would show interest? Or is this an endless game where if we didn't put on roles, we would never have a connection at all? Can we be our true selves? Ever?
It's a very interesting thing to think about.
Pretend the confession paragraph I typed is still here and not deleted.
