Best posted in the blog...
You know a situation is really sick.. when.,. after you acknowledge, and apologize, to someone for something they have held against you for a long time.. they in turn threaten you, and accept no responsibility for hurtful and harmful actions they did to you.
After my aunt the artist, someone I helped financially, for many years, spent the weekend ripping my mom, her sister, about what kind od a bad mother my mom was, my father came out here yesterday, arrogant as can be, and basically put forth the idea that he knows he can get away with anything, now that my mom isnt alive.
I started the day by apologizing to him for not wanting to see Cheryl all these years, and told him my reason for not seeing her, was because I was angry at him. Instead of being gracious, his reply to me was that he takes no responsibility for anything he did to me, either emotionally, or fiancnailly,. He still rips my mom, and how he could have put her in the street. Additionally, he took no responsibility for anything he did to me financially, from not honoring his commitment to send me to grad school, to not doing my taxes, etc. Saying he had "No legal obligation" to do any of those things, and calling my situation with the taxes "bullshit", and how I should have hod them done myself, even though he did all his friends and relatives free of charge and knowing how it costs more than 5 K a year to do the complex oil and gas returns, and k 1s. .
Then, out of the other side of his mouth, after saying the most vicious things, he told me how he "Wants me to feel good about myself, and not feel desperate" financially.
My mom predictred this long ago, saying that even if I saw Cheryl, it wouldnt be enough for him. She said he would ream me anyway, because he loves to be abusive. He knows I've wanted to meet with lawyers for weeks, about business ideas. His suggestion for a job for me was for me to become a housekeeper, maid, or nurses aide, and told me that none of my business ideas, wll ever work.
Had I known what he was going to do, I would have stayed in Lancaster, and taken a roommate into the apartment. Since I'm here, and my rent is almost double, I'm trapped. He says he is going to take care of my rent for the time being, but I have no way of knowing that,
I'm becoming more depressed by the day. While I do like NY more than PA, things like baseball and politics dont interest me anymore. The Braves were in NY this weekend, and we went to the game last night with my friend Adam and his father. In past years, I'd have been really into it. This weekend, I paid attention with a blank stare. Additioally, I really dont care who wins the presidential election.
Bottom line: my father wins. He did great damage to my mom and me, emotionally and financially., My mom died, breaking my heart, and now he can do anything he wants to me. It was never about having a relationship with me. It was about winning the war with us, which he did. Hes the winner, I'm the loser. I lost my mom, he got all the money, the family, and glory, and he loves every minute of how I'm feeling.
I've done quite a bit of work this summer, selling a lot of items, and making money. I'm going to look for a job in Sept. Hes put down every business idea I've had which would make me real money to untie from him. Somehow, even if it takes a while, without his help, I'm going to have to find a way to do a business, make enough money to cover my nut, and then tell him to go to hell.
As for my money that hes holding, or renaging on what hes doing for me, I dont think he'll do that. If that happens, I tell him to go fuck himself now, and hes having too much fun fucking me over.
Somehow, I'm going to have to get a business going, and then untie from him. There will be much suffering until then, and it will take long, but, before this man closes his eyes, unless he died soon, I will tell him to go to hell. When that day comes, I doubt he will even care. He will have already accomplished his goal.
Mitch
You know a situation is really sick.. when.,. after you acknowledge, and apologize, to someone for something they have held against you for a long time.. they in turn threaten you, and accept no responsibility for hurtful and harmful actions they did to you.
After my aunt the artist, someone I helped financially, for many years, spent the weekend ripping my mom, her sister, about what kind od a bad mother my mom was, my father came out here yesterday, arrogant as can be, and basically put forth the idea that he knows he can get away with anything, now that my mom isnt alive.
I started the day by apologizing to him for not wanting to see Cheryl all these years, and told him my reason for not seeing her, was because I was angry at him. Instead of being gracious, his reply to me was that he takes no responsibility for anything he did to me, either emotionally, or fiancnailly,. He still rips my mom, and how he could have put her in the street. Additionally, he took no responsibility for anything he did to me financially, from not honoring his commitment to send me to grad school, to not doing my taxes, etc. Saying he had "No legal obligation" to do any of those things, and calling my situation with the taxes "bullshit", and how I should have hod them done myself, even though he did all his friends and relatives free of charge and knowing how it costs more than 5 K a year to do the complex oil and gas returns, and k 1s. .
Then, out of the other side of his mouth, after saying the most vicious things, he told me how he "Wants me to feel good about myself, and not feel desperate" financially.
My mom predictred this long ago, saying that even if I saw Cheryl, it wouldnt be enough for him. She said he would ream me anyway, because he loves to be abusive. He knows I've wanted to meet with lawyers for weeks, about business ideas. His suggestion for a job for me was for me to become a housekeeper, maid, or nurses aide, and told me that none of my business ideas, wll ever work.
Had I known what he was going to do, I would have stayed in Lancaster, and taken a roommate into the apartment. Since I'm here, and my rent is almost double, I'm trapped. He says he is going to take care of my rent for the time being, but I have no way of knowing that,
I'm becoming more depressed by the day. While I do like NY more than PA, things like baseball and politics dont interest me anymore. The Braves were in NY this weekend, and we went to the game last night with my friend Adam and his father. In past years, I'd have been really into it. This weekend, I paid attention with a blank stare. Additioally, I really dont care who wins the presidential election.
Bottom line: my father wins. He did great damage to my mom and me, emotionally and financially., My mom died, breaking my heart, and now he can do anything he wants to me. It was never about having a relationship with me. It was about winning the war with us, which he did. Hes the winner, I'm the loser. I lost my mom, he got all the money, the family, and glory, and he loves every minute of how I'm feeling.
I've done quite a bit of work this summer, selling a lot of items, and making money. I'm going to look for a job in Sept. Hes put down every business idea I've had which would make me real money to untie from him. Somehow, even if it takes a while, without his help, I'm going to have to find a way to do a business, make enough money to cover my nut, and then tell him to go to hell.
As for my money that hes holding, or renaging on what hes doing for me, I dont think he'll do that. If that happens, I tell him to go fuck himself now, and hes having too much fun fucking me over.
Somehow, I'm going to have to get a business going, and then untie from him. There will be much suffering until then, and it will take long, but, before this man closes his eyes, unless he died soon, I will tell him to go to hell. When that day comes, I doubt he will even care. He will have already accomplished his goal.
Mitch
