I've got it.
Currently being treated for it.
I was put on Zoloft in attempts to cause them to slow down and it ended up doing nothing but making the attacks worse.
Whenever I'm having a bad attack all I can think about is that I'm physically sick with something devastating. I haven't been eating, I don't really sleep. Because I can't when I'm having an attack.
So far I've "self-diagnosed" myself as "having" cancer, heart attacks and aneurysms. I've had it in my head that I'm never going to talk to any of my friends again and no-one will ever see me again. I've felt depression, fear and complete total loss of control.
I went today and got a second opinion from a different doctor. He took me off the Zoloft and put me on two new drugs:
Lorazepam ( 0.5 MG tablet) -- It's apparently like a form of xanax but a bit 'better'. I take those when I feel like I'm having a panic attack.
And
Mirtazapine (15 MG tablet) -- It's supposed to help me sleep and help with anxiety at night. This one I'm to take once daily at night time.
I've also been given a number to talk with a counselor who will help me "cope" with this and figure out ways to manage future attacks.
I've only been off the Zoloft for about 24 hours and I've had a few small attacks, but nothing near as bad as the ones that I was dealing with this weekend.
It's only been a few days since I've really reclused and I already worry that I'm going to lose my friends and those I care about. I have no reasonable evidence that would show this is true, it's just what's in my head and I'm trying to get it out.
My brother flew down to 'help' with the death of my grandfather. I haven't seen him for like 7 years.. it was a trip.. not really a fantastic one. We were cordial and nothing happened, but it was incredibly weird. All the history there and all.
I guess that's about it.
To everyone who left me support on facebook; i just want you to know that I can't even begin to explain how good it felt to know that there is folks out there who care. I know I shouldn't feel as paranoid as I do; but I do. I'm afraid to lose you guys.
And please talk to people or do things that will help de-stress you. Don't let it build up. It's toxic and nasty and really unfun.
Currently being treated for it.
I was put on Zoloft in attempts to cause them to slow down and it ended up doing nothing but making the attacks worse.
Whenever I'm having a bad attack all I can think about is that I'm physically sick with something devastating. I haven't been eating, I don't really sleep. Because I can't when I'm having an attack.
So far I've "self-diagnosed" myself as "having" cancer, heart attacks and aneurysms. I've had it in my head that I'm never going to talk to any of my friends again and no-one will ever see me again. I've felt depression, fear and complete total loss of control.
I went today and got a second opinion from a different doctor. He took me off the Zoloft and put me on two new drugs:
Lorazepam ( 0.5 MG tablet) -- It's apparently like a form of xanax but a bit 'better'. I take those when I feel like I'm having a panic attack.
And
Mirtazapine (15 MG tablet) -- It's supposed to help me sleep and help with anxiety at night. This one I'm to take once daily at night time.
I've also been given a number to talk with a counselor who will help me "cope" with this and figure out ways to manage future attacks.
I've only been off the Zoloft for about 24 hours and I've had a few small attacks, but nothing near as bad as the ones that I was dealing with this weekend.
It's only been a few days since I've really reclused and I already worry that I'm going to lose my friends and those I care about. I have no reasonable evidence that would show this is true, it's just what's in my head and I'm trying to get it out.
My brother flew down to 'help' with the death of my grandfather. I haven't seen him for like 7 years.. it was a trip.. not really a fantastic one. We were cordial and nothing happened, but it was incredibly weird. All the history there and all.
I guess that's about it.
To everyone who left me support on facebook; i just want you to know that I can't even begin to explain how good it felt to know that there is folks out there who care. I know I shouldn't feel as paranoid as I do; but I do. I'm afraid to lose you guys.
And please talk to people or do things that will help de-stress you. Don't let it build up. It's toxic and nasty and really unfun.
