I decided to put this in my blog, so it doesnt clog up the main forum.
I sit here, two days before Thanksgiving, and I'm thankful for the fact that, first off, my mom is healthy enough to be home with me. I'm thankful for my home, my computer, the food I eat every day, and the money I do have, because, while I know it's so much less than most people I know, it's also, in these hard times, so much more than most.
Yet, I look at where I was, and where my family was, January 1st, at midnight, and I say.. omg.
January 1 2010 at midnight, my mom was healthy, to my knowledge. January 1, 2010, I had just said Happy New Year to my father, earlier that evening, and my best friend of 28 years, at the stroke of midnight, just as I had so many other New Years. I had spent more New Years with him, then anyone else I've ever known.
March 10th, as everyone knows, the world came crashing in for me. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. Then, we found what we hoped was a wonderful Dr in NJ. Shortly thereafter, my father left my life. Somewhere in there, a person I had put much effort into, left my life as well. Then, last week, the topper of them all, the friendship with my best friend of 29 years, came to an end.
In between all these things, were the treatments, side effects, and hospitalizations for my mom.
My mom, incidentially, is not sympathetic at all, about anything that has happened this year. She'll say flatly,: "I'm upset about you and Alan" (My father), but, there's a tone in her voice, that is saying "I have cancer, so I have a license not to give a shit about anything in my son's life".
I know she's going through a lot. I've been there to support her every step of the way, and will continue to be.. but. I think when one's father stabs them in the back, at the worst time of their life, and the relationship with a friend of 29 years, who is like their brother, comes to an end, it is significant, correct?
I will be a far different person this year on January 1 at midnight, then I was last year.
Aside from my mom meeting her Drs, who can hopefully help her be well for longer than the Lancaster ones could, the only good thing is that I restarted a friendship with someone who used to be close to me 20 years ago, that ended, because I was a jerk, and listened to my father about, for the ONLY time in my life. I'm going to talk to him tonight, for the first time since 1989. That should be interesting.
I know I'm still.. Mitch. I still like women's feet, and tickling, and seeing girls barefoot on ladders. I'm still a Democrat, and an Atlanta Braves fan, and Sheila's son, always. Yet, in ten months, I've changed .. so much.
I hope this new phase of my life, is going to be much better. To be honest.. I'm apprehensive, but.. I know I have no choice but to embrace it, work on it, and hopefully, take it to good places. Hopefully, God will spare my mom, so she can see better things on herself, and her son.
Mitch
I sit here, two days before Thanksgiving, and I'm thankful for the fact that, first off, my mom is healthy enough to be home with me. I'm thankful for my home, my computer, the food I eat every day, and the money I do have, because, while I know it's so much less than most people I know, it's also, in these hard times, so much more than most.
Yet, I look at where I was, and where my family was, January 1st, at midnight, and I say.. omg.
January 1 2010 at midnight, my mom was healthy, to my knowledge. January 1, 2010, I had just said Happy New Year to my father, earlier that evening, and my best friend of 28 years, at the stroke of midnight, just as I had so many other New Years. I had spent more New Years with him, then anyone else I've ever known.
March 10th, as everyone knows, the world came crashing in for me. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. Then, we found what we hoped was a wonderful Dr in NJ. Shortly thereafter, my father left my life. Somewhere in there, a person I had put much effort into, left my life as well. Then, last week, the topper of them all, the friendship with my best friend of 29 years, came to an end.
In between all these things, were the treatments, side effects, and hospitalizations for my mom.
My mom, incidentially, is not sympathetic at all, about anything that has happened this year. She'll say flatly,: "I'm upset about you and Alan" (My father), but, there's a tone in her voice, that is saying "I have cancer, so I have a license not to give a shit about anything in my son's life".
I know she's going through a lot. I've been there to support her every step of the way, and will continue to be.. but. I think when one's father stabs them in the back, at the worst time of their life, and the relationship with a friend of 29 years, who is like their brother, comes to an end, it is significant, correct?
I will be a far different person this year on January 1 at midnight, then I was last year.
Aside from my mom meeting her Drs, who can hopefully help her be well for longer than the Lancaster ones could, the only good thing is that I restarted a friendship with someone who used to be close to me 20 years ago, that ended, because I was a jerk, and listened to my father about, for the ONLY time in my life. I'm going to talk to him tonight, for the first time since 1989. That should be interesting.
I know I'm still.. Mitch. I still like women's feet, and tickling, and seeing girls barefoot on ladders. I'm still a Democrat, and an Atlanta Braves fan, and Sheila's son, always. Yet, in ten months, I've changed .. so much.
I hope this new phase of my life, is going to be much better. To be honest.. I'm apprehensive, but.. I know I have no choice but to embrace it, work on it, and hopefully, take it to good places. Hopefully, God will spare my mom, so she can see better things on herself, and her son.
Mitch
