Oh worries are about
And heavy on his gut
He feels he's being punished
For the bad things he has done
Help him, Jesus, help him
Send him down a sign
'Cause he feel's he's getting old before his time
And he is sitting at the table
The table he has set
He is begging for the courage to redeem some self respect
Help him Jesus, help him
Walk along the line
'Cause he feel's he's getting old before his time
He says it takes a worried man
To sing a worried song
It takes a worried man
To sing a worried song
It takes a worried man
To sing a worried song
He is worried now
But he won't be worried long
I took a nap and cleared my head and I am not as shaken as I was earlier.
As I get older, I'm watching my mother mentally unravel and she is someone that can't even handle the stress of every day life. So when something like this happens, I worry.
I've realized also that I can be very controlling, in a sense. I need control over my life, my emotions, and to an extent my little sisters lives because I think I still need to protect or save them. And if I feel like there is nothing I can do in a stressful situation, I kind of lose my mind.
I'm going to have to work on that and possibly my anger as well. I just have to stay focused on me and making my life better.
It's just difficult because I have known for along time that my mother would not live a long life and die a natural death. She is coming to the end of her rope in many ways and while she was a horrible mother, I can't help but be scared.
I wish I didn't have any emotions towards her one way or another, but I do. Part of me hates her and part of me pities her. She's mentally ill and for the longest time that wasn't a good enough excuse for her behavior. Still isn't really. But to spend your life watching someone destroy themselves and others, it's like watching someone walk out into oncoming traffic. Anyone with a heart would feel an urge to save them. Right?
It's difficult to explain. She's the only mom I've had and I believe somewhere in her stone heart, she loves me or at least cares for me, and I'm just scared how her declining state of mind is going to effect me.
Anyway, it's just another of the many worries floating around in my head along with a million others.
I'll be fine. Man, I've said that so many times the words have started to sound foreign.
Meh.
EDIT: As of right now, my mom is still in jail.
EDIT 2: My sisters bailed her out last night after I went to bed. Her bail was only 100 bucks. I don't know why she didn't get out sooner, but meh. She is home and fine now.
And heavy on his gut
He feels he's being punished
For the bad things he has done
Help him, Jesus, help him
Send him down a sign
'Cause he feel's he's getting old before his time
And he is sitting at the table
The table he has set
He is begging for the courage to redeem some self respect
Help him Jesus, help him
Walk along the line
'Cause he feel's he's getting old before his time
He says it takes a worried man
To sing a worried song
It takes a worried man
To sing a worried song
It takes a worried man
To sing a worried song
He is worried now
But he won't be worried long
I took a nap and cleared my head and I am not as shaken as I was earlier.
As I get older, I'm watching my mother mentally unravel and she is someone that can't even handle the stress of every day life. So when something like this happens, I worry.
I've realized also that I can be very controlling, in a sense. I need control over my life, my emotions, and to an extent my little sisters lives because I think I still need to protect or save them. And if I feel like there is nothing I can do in a stressful situation, I kind of lose my mind.
I'm going to have to work on that and possibly my anger as well. I just have to stay focused on me and making my life better.
It's just difficult because I have known for along time that my mother would not live a long life and die a natural death. She is coming to the end of her rope in many ways and while she was a horrible mother, I can't help but be scared.
I wish I didn't have any emotions towards her one way or another, but I do. Part of me hates her and part of me pities her. She's mentally ill and for the longest time that wasn't a good enough excuse for her behavior. Still isn't really. But to spend your life watching someone destroy themselves and others, it's like watching someone walk out into oncoming traffic. Anyone with a heart would feel an urge to save them. Right?
It's difficult to explain. She's the only mom I've had and I believe somewhere in her stone heart, she loves me or at least cares for me, and I'm just scared how her declining state of mind is going to effect me.
Anyway, it's just another of the many worries floating around in my head along with a million others.
I'll be fine. Man, I've said that so many times the words have started to sound foreign.
Meh.
EDIT: As of right now, my mom is still in jail.
EDIT 2: My sisters bailed her out last night after I went to bed. Her bail was only 100 bucks. I don't know why she didn't get out sooner, but meh. She is home and fine now.
