For a while there I thought I was failing at being a good parent to my 10 year old.
He has been in and out of trouble at school since second grade. I have tried threatening, reasoning, punishing bad behavior, rewarding good behavior, and all of the other things they teach you in virtual parenting school to no avail.
This year he is in fourth grade and it all came to a head. He has openly defied the teachers and actually broke down crying on several occasions.
My wife and I have had several meetings with the school psychologist, nurse, social worker, and principal to discuss what course of action we should take.
We finally made some progress after they tested his IQ and discovered him to be at the superior level overall with a high school reading level and an adult mastery of vocabulary.
So of course we all thought "he is bored" and began to explore a curriculum that would keep his interest. This was not the underlying factor to his behavioral issues, however.
Two weeks ago we had a reputable psychiatrist that does consultant work for the board of ed take a go at my son. Tracy and I spent an hour with him answering background questions before he sat with the boy.
He spent 15 minutes with him in the offfice and then went to the school to observe his behaior in the classroom setting, where he watched him try to control the class and make the room his own, ignoring the feelings of all others. He watched my son for almost 2 hours in a typical school day.
When we met with the school group he came to give us the results of his exam.
The diagnosis is Asperger's Syndrome ( http://aspergers.com/ ) which explains everything that he has been going through ( and putting us through).
It is part of the autism family but mainly affects social skills and how we relate to others. http://aspergers.com/aspclin.htm
We only wish we had known this a few years ago instead of just finding out before he enters 5'th grade.
There is no cure or treatment for the disease itself, but the social skills can be worked on in therapy and he can become a fairly well adjusted individual given time and patience. Tracy and I will be giving both to him going forward, with a great deal more understanding of what is going on in his head thanks to friends that we know that grew up with this syndrome that are doing very well in life as adults.
So there is much hope going forward, and I feel better knowing that I am not a bad dad...
He has been in and out of trouble at school since second grade. I have tried threatening, reasoning, punishing bad behavior, rewarding good behavior, and all of the other things they teach you in virtual parenting school to no avail.
This year he is in fourth grade and it all came to a head. He has openly defied the teachers and actually broke down crying on several occasions.
My wife and I have had several meetings with the school psychologist, nurse, social worker, and principal to discuss what course of action we should take.
We finally made some progress after they tested his IQ and discovered him to be at the superior level overall with a high school reading level and an adult mastery of vocabulary.
So of course we all thought "he is bored" and began to explore a curriculum that would keep his interest. This was not the underlying factor to his behavioral issues, however.
Two weeks ago we had a reputable psychiatrist that does consultant work for the board of ed take a go at my son. Tracy and I spent an hour with him answering background questions before he sat with the boy.
He spent 15 minutes with him in the offfice and then went to the school to observe his behaior in the classroom setting, where he watched him try to control the class and make the room his own, ignoring the feelings of all others. He watched my son for almost 2 hours in a typical school day.
When we met with the school group he came to give us the results of his exam.
The diagnosis is Asperger's Syndrome ( http://aspergers.com/ ) which explains everything that he has been going through ( and putting us through).
It is part of the autism family but mainly affects social skills and how we relate to others. http://aspergers.com/aspclin.htm
We only wish we had known this a few years ago instead of just finding out before he enters 5'th grade.
There is no cure or treatment for the disease itself, but the social skills can be worked on in therapy and he can become a fairly well adjusted individual given time and patience. Tracy and I will be giving both to him going forward, with a great deal more understanding of what is going on in his head thanks to friends that we know that grew up with this syndrome that are doing very well in life as adults.
So there is much hope going forward, and I feel better knowing that I am not a bad dad...
