A vent best posted in the blog.
It seemed I had finally made a new friend, and now I found out today he is leaving for good.
I've posted on here how I sold much of my mom's jewelry to this jeweler on Austin St, the main St here in Forest Hills. Eric, even though hes married, is 2 years younger than me, and I see him several times a week even though I have no more real jewelry to sell. We talk about the election, life, our families, etc. Hes married, but I thought we had been building a budding friendship. Today I found out hes moving to CA. He didnt seem to want to do the keep in touch thing, so I just wished him well, and left it at that.
Things with my father have not improved, and I know now they probably never will. Except for last Saturday, the only times he's seen me have been the Jewish holidays and his bday. Occasions, in the last- 3-4 months, even though we live less than a half hr from each other by car and subway. I've gotten, his hand me down furniture, his hand me down clothes. Dont misunderstand. Im not ripping that to those who cant afford to do better for their children, but he can. The whole thing is pointed. "Dad spends no time with Mitch, and gives Mitch as little as possible, of time, emotion, money, while Mitch is supposed to do everything Dad says. " This week I took a cab to try and sell my grandfather's cameras. I was trying to raise money for my aunts and myself. When my father sensed what I did, he called me screaming, wanting to know why. . My aunt was appalled at his behavior. Also, we have some articles of my moms at the Ritz Thrift Shop that sold. They are in his name because of my credit problems. When I asked him for the money from them, he jumped down my throat at being "desperate".
He had promised me he was going to help me set up my concept business, and then step back. Now he told me he doesnt want to make a commitment. While he doesnt have to.. legally.. it would be nice, considering he hasnt given a fuck about his son's future in the last 20 plus years.
I cant untie from him because he says hes paying my rent. My aunts, and two best friends, think hes treating me despicably. If he calls and I dont answer the phone, he goes off. If he calls, in the mid to late evening, and I've fallen assleep, he wants to know why I'm sleeping.
Those in my world think he treats me like an abusive boss treats an employee, rather than how a father treats a son. I happen to agree. I'd love to tell him to go fuck himself, but cant because of my rent. I did tell him that if his cousins abuse me again on Thanksgiving, all of them are history.
My hope is to get my business going, with his help or without, and then to go my seperate way from him. I think I've been gracious and accomadating, to people, him and his cousins, who havent given a damn about me or my life. Those who dont know how his mind works, would say he cares because of my rent. I beg to differ, knowing his mind. I think its worth it to him to say he won the war, and to have me suck up to his family. My rent is far less money than my mom's alimony was, and I think he would almost consider it worth it to have control.
Additionally, he has spent no time with me at all, beyond a few hrs for lunch, or the family holidays. He has a lavish week long trip with Cheryl to the islands planned for Xmas, but didnt say he wanted to do anything for even a weekend with me. I gave him big gifts, for me, for his bday and Fathers day, but I'm not expecting anything for my bday and Hannakah.
My mom would be appalled if she could see how hes treating me.
I hope and pray that 2013 is the year I can do a successful business, so I can untie from him. I'd love to give him back every penny hes paid for my rent, and send him packing. He would deserve it after how hes treating me. All is fine with him, as long as he gives me the least amount of time, effort, and feeling, and as long as I suck up to all those he tells me to, who I cant stand.
Mitch
It seemed I had finally made a new friend, and now I found out today he is leaving for good.
I've posted on here how I sold much of my mom's jewelry to this jeweler on Austin St, the main St here in Forest Hills. Eric, even though hes married, is 2 years younger than me, and I see him several times a week even though I have no more real jewelry to sell. We talk about the election, life, our families, etc. Hes married, but I thought we had been building a budding friendship. Today I found out hes moving to CA. He didnt seem to want to do the keep in touch thing, so I just wished him well, and left it at that.
Things with my father have not improved, and I know now they probably never will. Except for last Saturday, the only times he's seen me have been the Jewish holidays and his bday. Occasions, in the last- 3-4 months, even though we live less than a half hr from each other by car and subway. I've gotten, his hand me down furniture, his hand me down clothes. Dont misunderstand. Im not ripping that to those who cant afford to do better for their children, but he can. The whole thing is pointed. "Dad spends no time with Mitch, and gives Mitch as little as possible, of time, emotion, money, while Mitch is supposed to do everything Dad says. " This week I took a cab to try and sell my grandfather's cameras. I was trying to raise money for my aunts and myself. When my father sensed what I did, he called me screaming, wanting to know why. . My aunt was appalled at his behavior. Also, we have some articles of my moms at the Ritz Thrift Shop that sold. They are in his name because of my credit problems. When I asked him for the money from them, he jumped down my throat at being "desperate".
He had promised me he was going to help me set up my concept business, and then step back. Now he told me he doesnt want to make a commitment. While he doesnt have to.. legally.. it would be nice, considering he hasnt given a fuck about his son's future in the last 20 plus years.
I cant untie from him because he says hes paying my rent. My aunts, and two best friends, think hes treating me despicably. If he calls and I dont answer the phone, he goes off. If he calls, in the mid to late evening, and I've fallen assleep, he wants to know why I'm sleeping.
Those in my world think he treats me like an abusive boss treats an employee, rather than how a father treats a son. I happen to agree. I'd love to tell him to go fuck himself, but cant because of my rent. I did tell him that if his cousins abuse me again on Thanksgiving, all of them are history.
My hope is to get my business going, with his help or without, and then to go my seperate way from him. I think I've been gracious and accomadating, to people, him and his cousins, who havent given a damn about me or my life. Those who dont know how his mind works, would say he cares because of my rent. I beg to differ, knowing his mind. I think its worth it to him to say he won the war, and to have me suck up to his family. My rent is far less money than my mom's alimony was, and I think he would almost consider it worth it to have control.
Additionally, he has spent no time with me at all, beyond a few hrs for lunch, or the family holidays. He has a lavish week long trip with Cheryl to the islands planned for Xmas, but didnt say he wanted to do anything for even a weekend with me. I gave him big gifts, for me, for his bday and Fathers day, but I'm not expecting anything for my bday and Hannakah.
My mom would be appalled if she could see how hes treating me.
I hope and pray that 2013 is the year I can do a successful business, so I can untie from him. I'd love to give him back every penny hes paid for my rent, and send him packing. He would deserve it after how hes treating me. All is fine with him, as long as he gives me the least amount of time, effort, and feeling, and as long as I suck up to all those he tells me to, who I cant stand.
Mitch
