I finally figured out the problem I have with my father, and why I've had such bad feelings for him for so many years.
As I think back, both when my parents were married, and after the divorce, my mom did everything, emotionally, and at times, financially, to make my dreams come true. My father hasnt.
My mom helped me work in the company. My father had been sending me money at the time I was in the company, claiming he was trying to help me, and make it up to me, for what he did with the taxes, and not sending me to grad school. Yet, when he claimed he had financial issues, instead of sacrificing for his son, after alll the damage he did to me, he cut all the money off, to be "fair to Cheryl" and perserve his mega expensive apartment with her. He knew full well he had not been equitable with my mom financially in the divorce, or sent me to grad school. Yet, his concern was Cheryl, not me.
My mom, who had such serious problems the last 20 plus years of her life, financially, divorce wise, and then with her health, sacrificed so much for me, as my father's concern has been himself, and Cheryl.
I look at my ex best friend's parents, bastards that they were to me, who loaned their daughter $250K to start a business, to help persue her dreams. She is now wealthy, and never gave the parents any consideration besides paying back the loan. Instead, she and her husband gave his family jobs, money, homes, etc.
In addition to this, my father has taunted me since I'm back in NY, sneering at me about how I used to take financial security and having it for granted, and now I seem "desperate". What financial security or means to acquire it did he help me with in the last 23 years? Did he send me to grad school? Were his threats to put my mom in the street a way of taking financial security for granted? My mom and I left NY in 1999 for one reason, to lower our living expenses.
Im going to express this to my father in the near future, and see his reaction. I dont delude myself to think he will understand or care, but, I just want to see if he will be understanding, or merely issue more hostility and threats. My bet, is it will be the latter.
Mitch
As I think back, both when my parents were married, and after the divorce, my mom did everything, emotionally, and at times, financially, to make my dreams come true. My father hasnt.
My mom helped me work in the company. My father had been sending me money at the time I was in the company, claiming he was trying to help me, and make it up to me, for what he did with the taxes, and not sending me to grad school. Yet, when he claimed he had financial issues, instead of sacrificing for his son, after alll the damage he did to me, he cut all the money off, to be "fair to Cheryl" and perserve his mega expensive apartment with her. He knew full well he had not been equitable with my mom financially in the divorce, or sent me to grad school. Yet, his concern was Cheryl, not me.
My mom, who had such serious problems the last 20 plus years of her life, financially, divorce wise, and then with her health, sacrificed so much for me, as my father's concern has been himself, and Cheryl.
I look at my ex best friend's parents, bastards that they were to me, who loaned their daughter $250K to start a business, to help persue her dreams. She is now wealthy, and never gave the parents any consideration besides paying back the loan. Instead, she and her husband gave his family jobs, money, homes, etc.
In addition to this, my father has taunted me since I'm back in NY, sneering at me about how I used to take financial security and having it for granted, and now I seem "desperate". What financial security or means to acquire it did he help me with in the last 23 years? Did he send me to grad school? Were his threats to put my mom in the street a way of taking financial security for granted? My mom and I left NY in 1999 for one reason, to lower our living expenses.
Im going to express this to my father in the near future, and see his reaction. I dont delude myself to think he will understand or care, but, I just want to see if he will be understanding, or merely issue more hostility and threats. My bet, is it will be the latter.
Mitch
