An incident happened yesterday that made me realize just how different every single one of my "family" is, compared to how my mom was.
Usually my father calls me in the morning. I wanted to call him.. because I wanted to turn the phone off.. so I could continue cracking away at my bottomless pit test taking.
When I called, he answered the phone in an exasperated huff, like I caught him in the middle of something.
Then he said "Let me call you".
Er. fine.. I'm not allowed to pick up the phone to call him.. so I can shut it off, and get back to work.
HE can call ME ANYTIME HE WANTS. I am not allowed to go to the casino for a couple of hours a week, because.. I'm not a human being, and he has all the rights.
So... today. with nothing else to do. I am going to the casino. I need a break, from looking at NYS licensing exam websites. I plan to shut my phone off when I leave the apartment, and not turn it on all day. Fuck him if he's frustrated not being able to get in touch with me. A lot of things frustrate me about him, mostly how he's best friends with my worst enemies.
When my mom was alive.. she would watch her movies at night, but we would always talk.
Even when we lived in NJ, and she had a very active social life, many friends, and was still dating men every weekend, she always made time to spend with Mitch.
One aunt.. consumed by her shows. Much more than my half hour of Jim Gardner every night.,
Another aunt.. just wants to use me,, for the next $20 she can mooch off me,.. pathetic.
My father.,. I see him.. for an hour at a time.. we spend no meaningful time together.
My friends Barney and Adam.. every weekend or other weekend with their friends Paul and Peter, respectively.
I know.. I need to find a woman. It isn't going to happen in 2013. Maria is out.
Hopefully.. if I pass the licensing exam very soon.. I will be in a position.
I seriously would love to put all these people on the back burner.
If I was on my own two feet.. I couldn't give a shit if my father and Cheryl MOVED TO FLORIDA.. let alone went there for a week or a month each year.
They will be back on Tuesday, and undoubtedly he'll want to have "Dinner" before my (Hopefully ) exam on Friday. Er.. no..
Just until his next trip.. with the cousins I love so much.. for Christmas.
All I know is... my mom wasn't best friends with people who treated her son like shit in the worst year of his life.. like my father is.
She's dead 19 months, and suffered like hell, all to their joy. . I wonder when it is that I'm going to have the pleasure of seeing my uncle, and my father's lying friend Marvin, fall off the face of the earth.
For me,. it s just continued hammering away at the licensing exam. I need to be at the magic 70 by Friday or I'm screwed.
Usually my father calls me in the morning. I wanted to call him.. because I wanted to turn the phone off.. so I could continue cracking away at my bottomless pit test taking.
When I called, he answered the phone in an exasperated huff, like I caught him in the middle of something.
Then he said "Let me call you".
Er. fine.. I'm not allowed to pick up the phone to call him.. so I can shut it off, and get back to work.
HE can call ME ANYTIME HE WANTS. I am not allowed to go to the casino for a couple of hours a week, because.. I'm not a human being, and he has all the rights.
So... today. with nothing else to do. I am going to the casino. I need a break, from looking at NYS licensing exam websites. I plan to shut my phone off when I leave the apartment, and not turn it on all day. Fuck him if he's frustrated not being able to get in touch with me. A lot of things frustrate me about him, mostly how he's best friends with my worst enemies.
When my mom was alive.. she would watch her movies at night, but we would always talk.
Even when we lived in NJ, and she had a very active social life, many friends, and was still dating men every weekend, she always made time to spend with Mitch.
One aunt.. consumed by her shows. Much more than my half hour of Jim Gardner every night.,
Another aunt.. just wants to use me,, for the next $20 she can mooch off me,.. pathetic.
My father.,. I see him.. for an hour at a time.. we spend no meaningful time together.
My friends Barney and Adam.. every weekend or other weekend with their friends Paul and Peter, respectively.
I know.. I need to find a woman. It isn't going to happen in 2013. Maria is out.
Hopefully.. if I pass the licensing exam very soon.. I will be in a position.
I seriously would love to put all these people on the back burner.
If I was on my own two feet.. I couldn't give a shit if my father and Cheryl MOVED TO FLORIDA.. let alone went there for a week or a month each year.
They will be back on Tuesday, and undoubtedly he'll want to have "Dinner" before my (Hopefully ) exam on Friday. Er.. no..
Just until his next trip.. with the cousins I love so much.. for Christmas.
All I know is... my mom wasn't best friends with people who treated her son like shit in the worst year of his life.. like my father is.
She's dead 19 months, and suffered like hell, all to their joy. . I wonder when it is that I'm going to have the pleasure of seeing my uncle, and my father's lying friend Marvin, fall off the face of the earth.
For me,. it s just continued hammering away at the licensing exam. I need to be at the magic 70 by Friday or I'm screwed.
