Just,.,. in .. the past week.. even as I have been working diligently to improve myself, by attending speech therapy, the gym, and training sessions for the purpose of improving my career, the following terrible things have happened to me. THESE have been my reward. for my effort.
1. Most Important, for me, and my future.. I receive a letter stating my termination date from Aflac.. in spite of the restrictions they place on me, and my efforts, both with the company, and to improve myself, with my speech. I also find out that I will have no influence on the call that could make or break my career., I wont even be able to listen in.
2. My father admits that he is "Avoiding me", and then tells me that "The casino is one of the reasons", even though I now work for a major company, have a professional license, and have taken steps to improve myself, with speech therapy, and physical exercise. I'm not allowed to have a distraction from my issues and feelings about work. Only he can do what he sees fit.
3. Jim Gardner.. who has meant so much to me, for the greater part of the last 15 years. So much, that I still watch him twice a night, thanks to the wonderful link from '
WPVI TV in Philly that Jeff found me just before I moved from PA in 2012, seems to be no longer shown on the WPVI website. The newscast doesn't seem to load, as it has only done so, for the 11pm news, one night this week. Mr Gardner has always been a wonderful source of distraction to calm me down, when things were difficult. When my mom was sick, and died. While I was mourning her death. In the lonely months thereafter, and with the difficulties of passing the insurance exam, and now the difficulties I have with work. Now, he may be gone permanently after 15 years. I don't know., It is to say the least, very upsetting.
All this, in spite of how diligently I am working to improve my life, with work, the gym, and speech therapy. THIS is my reward for my effort.
I'm feeling very downhearted. The only thing that would improve it, is one thing. If we sign the big account that my supervisor is working on, I solidify myself so I don't get fired, etc. I couldn't part ways with my father, even if I was self sufficient, and he continues to treat me like shit, because, this account is his lawyer, and his client. The only way I could.. would be if I sign a major client of my own, that has nothing to do with him. That seems questionable, with the regulations Aflac has with the kind of client I can sign.
My gut.. as I never get anything I want.
The law firm will not sign.. I will not be able to find a suitable replacement, and I will be fired.
I will be forced to get a job that makes me miserable, and all my hard work with passing the exam, and in the insurance industry, will be for naught.
My father will cut me off, very soon, as.. this is what is on his mind. This, even though I've done nothing this year to justify him doing so.
Jim Gardner's link will never come back,.
Fuck it all.. It is not "God helps those who help themselves., " It is "God helps those he wants to help". If God truly helped those who help themselves, he would help me sign a big account.. so I could be free of my father finally.
My mom was so right. She once said the root of the problem wasn't that my father was angry for all those years because I wasn't seeing his wife. He just.. cant stand me.. for whatever his reasons are, and he likes to hit me when I'm down.. or so apprehensive about my situation. This has been his pattern, always.
1. Most Important, for me, and my future.. I receive a letter stating my termination date from Aflac.. in spite of the restrictions they place on me, and my efforts, both with the company, and to improve myself, with my speech. I also find out that I will have no influence on the call that could make or break my career., I wont even be able to listen in.
2. My father admits that he is "Avoiding me", and then tells me that "The casino is one of the reasons", even though I now work for a major company, have a professional license, and have taken steps to improve myself, with speech therapy, and physical exercise. I'm not allowed to have a distraction from my issues and feelings about work. Only he can do what he sees fit.
3. Jim Gardner.. who has meant so much to me, for the greater part of the last 15 years. So much, that I still watch him twice a night, thanks to the wonderful link from '
WPVI TV in Philly that Jeff found me just before I moved from PA in 2012, seems to be no longer shown on the WPVI website. The newscast doesn't seem to load, as it has only done so, for the 11pm news, one night this week. Mr Gardner has always been a wonderful source of distraction to calm me down, when things were difficult. When my mom was sick, and died. While I was mourning her death. In the lonely months thereafter, and with the difficulties of passing the insurance exam, and now the difficulties I have with work. Now, he may be gone permanently after 15 years. I don't know., It is to say the least, very upsetting.
All this, in spite of how diligently I am working to improve my life, with work, the gym, and speech therapy. THIS is my reward for my effort.
I'm feeling very downhearted. The only thing that would improve it, is one thing. If we sign the big account that my supervisor is working on, I solidify myself so I don't get fired, etc. I couldn't part ways with my father, even if I was self sufficient, and he continues to treat me like shit, because, this account is his lawyer, and his client. The only way I could.. would be if I sign a major client of my own, that has nothing to do with him. That seems questionable, with the regulations Aflac has with the kind of client I can sign.
My gut.. as I never get anything I want.
The law firm will not sign.. I will not be able to find a suitable replacement, and I will be fired.
I will be forced to get a job that makes me miserable, and all my hard work with passing the exam, and in the insurance industry, will be for naught.
My father will cut me off, very soon, as.. this is what is on his mind. This, even though I've done nothing this year to justify him doing so.
Jim Gardner's link will never come back,.
Fuck it all.. It is not "God helps those who help themselves., " It is "God helps those he wants to help". If God truly helped those who help themselves, he would help me sign a big account.. so I could be free of my father finally.
My mom was so right. She once said the root of the problem wasn't that my father was angry for all those years because I wasn't seeing his wife. He just.. cant stand me.. for whatever his reasons are, and he likes to hit me when I'm down.. or so apprehensive about my situation. This has been his pattern, always.
