You know in TV shows where a character is having a moral dilemma of some sort and a devil and an angel appear on their shoulder. The devil encourages the person to do the misdeed while the angel tries to talk the person out of it.
I have the devil and the angel. I hear them both but the devil speaks louder than the angel. The devil voices my doubts and insecurities about everything I've worked at over these past few months. They crop up at the worse moments and that little demon pours salt onto wounds that have been ripped open again.
"They're not really your friends."
"They don't really like you."
"You'll always be an outsider."
I think that's my fear. I've made a promise to myself to go to a gathering next year and I fear that I won't fit in when I do go. I've never been good at social gatherings of any kind; I've always been a wallflower, a people watcher, but I want to - I will go to a gathering because I want to meet the friends that I've made on here.
I'm not gonna let my fear stop me from going but it's still there. Fear of not fitting in, of not being included, of just standing off to the side too scared to talk to people.
That fear becomes that demon that starts whispering doubts into my mind; its voice becoming louder with each doubt, drowning out the angel and the truth it speaks. Though blogging about this and realizing that hidden fear, the demon isn't as loud anymore.
I'm sure I'll stumble a few more times. The road is rough. 😀 But talking about it helps. Thanks for listening. 😀
I have the devil and the angel. I hear them both but the devil speaks louder than the angel. The devil voices my doubts and insecurities about everything I've worked at over these past few months. They crop up at the worse moments and that little demon pours salt onto wounds that have been ripped open again.
"They're not really your friends."
"They don't really like you."
"You'll always be an outsider."
I think that's my fear. I've made a promise to myself to go to a gathering next year and I fear that I won't fit in when I do go. I've never been good at social gatherings of any kind; I've always been a wallflower, a people watcher, but I want to - I will go to a gathering because I want to meet the friends that I've made on here.
I'm not gonna let my fear stop me from going but it's still there. Fear of not fitting in, of not being included, of just standing off to the side too scared to talk to people.
That fear becomes that demon that starts whispering doubts into my mind; its voice becoming louder with each doubt, drowning out the angel and the truth it speaks. Though blogging about this and realizing that hidden fear, the demon isn't as loud anymore.
I'm sure I'll stumble a few more times. The road is rough. 😀 But talking about it helps. Thanks for listening. 😀
I just booked my flight...