I'm bored,so I decided to post any random notion,feeling or empty thought that comes to mind.In front of me is the last lil' bit of bud I have left and a cup of tea which I can't wait to sip on. 🙂
Let me start with the act of writing itself and what I've learned from it.I awoke one day to the realization that I can no longer lift heavy objects or hurl people to the ground for my personal enjoyment.While engaged in those activities I had an ever-present feeling of catharsis,but it wasn't until the feeling was gone that I truly realised it's presence.A certain void was created and it took some time to understand it's basis.
What was it about these endeavors that had such a tremendous impact on my being? Sure,it's fun lifting a quarter ton off the ground or ever so gracefully throwing a body through the air but why did their abscence have such an affect?The correct answer wasn't apparent at first and took some deep thought to really understand.Looking back, maybe it should have been more obvious or maybe to a degree I understood at a more superficial level.
I eventually came to learn that those activities served as a form of expression.As art forms they took discipline,sacrifice and unyielding dedication.Even still,the awareness and appreciation of the disciplines didn't explain the seeming emptiness within.What was I expressing that was so impactful? In essence they were nothing more than trivial acts depicting physical ability.Something was still missing or it just seemed as if the pieces didn't fit.
It wasn't until only a couple weeks ago that I once again began to feel drawn to something,like it felt right.It actually started when I updated my profile and became more interactive on fetlife.I found myself really enjoying the act of writing and was little perplexed at first.It's something I had done many times before, obviously 🙂 , but this time it felt different.Things like sentence structure and word preference were seen in an entirely new light.I had gained a deep appreciation of writing as an art form,or form of expression have you.So,I again find myself contemplating this whole expression question.Writing wasn't producing the same endorphin like rush or artisitc beauty one can see in said physical activites yet it brought a sense of fulfillment.What was going on?
So know I find myself entranced by a whole new form of expression.So what I thought,what's the big deal about proper punctuation, near proper sometimes 🙂, or finding a substitute for a commonly used word.I eventually came to grasp that expression and the acts involved, whatever they may be,merely convey something much more powerful.....Passion.Deep,burning passion.
Websters defines passion as ''a powerful emotion'' , ''strong sexual desire'' or ''ardent love''. Those are all fine descripitions of ''passion'' but maybe it can be something deeper all together.Maybe passion can be best described as the true measure of the life energy embodied within.Perhaps with no outlet,with no way to be expressed,passion acts as a vacuum rather than an open window.
Maybe that explains the emptiness,I think it just might.
On a different note,I had this thought several days ago and wanted to write about it. Over the past two years I've had to grasp the fact that I'm legitimately hurt and I ran this body into the ground.I'm now a few years removed from the days where I felt as if I could run through a wall.Time catches up with everybody but nothing could have prepared me for this.It never ceases to amaze me how radically life can change at a moments notice.....~Quick quote~ ''All that you cherish,all that you love,in the blink of an eye can be taken from you.'' ~ Hatebreed....That reminds to make a blog post one day with a list of quality lyrical quotes.
Where was I? Oh yeah,the thought I had. This isn't intended to sound negative it's just the way it is. I suffered a couple nasty injuries and apparently they're going to be with me for a while and life is devalued greatly because of it. Unrelenting pain and a world of limitations has changed my outlook on many things.It's a burden being in this body now and in a sense I feel imprisoned within.I see death now as a way to escape that and leave the burden behind.It's more welcomed now than ever but because of that things within life,not life itself,have become much more treasurable.Maybe it's the inevitability that things most likely won't get better with time and I better make the most of it now.But really who knows,maybe things will improve as the sand trickles through the hourglass.It was an interesting moment when that thought occured.
That's it for now.I'm going smoke the remaining pot I have ...actually, you can't even call this pot.You can't even call this shake,this is mother f**kin' dust...lol...Hopefully I can get working here pretty soon so I can buy a real bag and smoke my herb in peace.One more thing,I just came across a new band,Times of Grace, featuring Adam D and Jesse from Killswitch and sounds like it has serious potential.Jesse is an amazing lyricist and vocalist so I'm sure the album will be sick.The video kinda sucks but the music is what counts.Actually,I want to see if it's possible to embed videos on the blog.Let's find out...
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Let me start with the act of writing itself and what I've learned from it.I awoke one day to the realization that I can no longer lift heavy objects or hurl people to the ground for my personal enjoyment.While engaged in those activities I had an ever-present feeling of catharsis,but it wasn't until the feeling was gone that I truly realised it's presence.A certain void was created and it took some time to understand it's basis.
What was it about these endeavors that had such a tremendous impact on my being? Sure,it's fun lifting a quarter ton off the ground or ever so gracefully throwing a body through the air but why did their abscence have such an affect?The correct answer wasn't apparent at first and took some deep thought to really understand.Looking back, maybe it should have been more obvious or maybe to a degree I understood at a more superficial level.
I eventually came to learn that those activities served as a form of expression.As art forms they took discipline,sacrifice and unyielding dedication.Even still,the awareness and appreciation of the disciplines didn't explain the seeming emptiness within.What was I expressing that was so impactful? In essence they were nothing more than trivial acts depicting physical ability.Something was still missing or it just seemed as if the pieces didn't fit.
It wasn't until only a couple weeks ago that I once again began to feel drawn to something,like it felt right.It actually started when I updated my profile and became more interactive on fetlife.I found myself really enjoying the act of writing and was little perplexed at first.It's something I had done many times before, obviously 🙂 , but this time it felt different.Things like sentence structure and word preference were seen in an entirely new light.I had gained a deep appreciation of writing as an art form,or form of expression have you.So,I again find myself contemplating this whole expression question.Writing wasn't producing the same endorphin like rush or artisitc beauty one can see in said physical activites yet it brought a sense of fulfillment.What was going on?
So know I find myself entranced by a whole new form of expression.So what I thought,what's the big deal about proper punctuation, near proper sometimes 🙂, or finding a substitute for a commonly used word.I eventually came to grasp that expression and the acts involved, whatever they may be,merely convey something much more powerful.....Passion.Deep,burning passion.
Websters defines passion as ''a powerful emotion'' , ''strong sexual desire'' or ''ardent love''. Those are all fine descripitions of ''passion'' but maybe it can be something deeper all together.Maybe passion can be best described as the true measure of the life energy embodied within.Perhaps with no outlet,with no way to be expressed,passion acts as a vacuum rather than an open window.
Maybe that explains the emptiness,I think it just might.
On a different note,I had this thought several days ago and wanted to write about it. Over the past two years I've had to grasp the fact that I'm legitimately hurt and I ran this body into the ground.I'm now a few years removed from the days where I felt as if I could run through a wall.Time catches up with everybody but nothing could have prepared me for this.It never ceases to amaze me how radically life can change at a moments notice.....~Quick quote~ ''All that you cherish,all that you love,in the blink of an eye can be taken from you.'' ~ Hatebreed....That reminds to make a blog post one day with a list of quality lyrical quotes.
Where was I? Oh yeah,the thought I had. This isn't intended to sound negative it's just the way it is. I suffered a couple nasty injuries and apparently they're going to be with me for a while and life is devalued greatly because of it. Unrelenting pain and a world of limitations has changed my outlook on many things.It's a burden being in this body now and in a sense I feel imprisoned within.I see death now as a way to escape that and leave the burden behind.It's more welcomed now than ever but because of that things within life,not life itself,have become much more treasurable.Maybe it's the inevitability that things most likely won't get better with time and I better make the most of it now.But really who knows,maybe things will improve as the sand trickles through the hourglass.It was an interesting moment when that thought occured.
That's it for now.I'm going smoke the remaining pot I have ...actually, you can't even call this pot.You can't even call this shake,this is mother f**kin' dust...lol...Hopefully I can get working here pretty soon so I can buy a real bag and smoke my herb in peace.One more thing,I just came across a new band,Times of Grace, featuring Adam D and Jesse from Killswitch and sounds like it has serious potential.Jesse is an amazing lyricist and vocalist so I'm sure the album will be sick.The video kinda sucks but the music is what counts.Actually,I want to see if it's possible to embed videos on the blog.Let's find out...
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