Before everyone freaks out at the title.. let me make 100% clear.. that I am NOT actually planning to "kill myself".. as in bodily.. or take my own life..
What I mean is this..
I;m busting my ass.. many hours a day, to get the insurance license I want to have. At that point.. I want to make as much money, as fast as possible.. to cover my apartment.. and all my expenses.
So I can then do what I really should..
Pay my father every last penny. he laid out for me since I've been in NY, ask him why we should stay together, and tell him to go straight to hell for the rest of his miserable life.
It gets worse.. as I knew it would.. as it always does with him.
He is the biggest hypocrite on the face of the planet.
I've asked him not to attack my dead mother.. but.. he just cant control himself.
His latest attack on Sunday.. was that she "Held me back" to keep me living with her, to keep her alimony check coming.
Negating the fact that he..
Did not pay for my graduate education as he'd promised.
Left my complex taxes undone for 12 years from 1990 to 2002... so I could not even get loans or financial aid to go to Grad School like a poor person.
Never discussed my future with me after Market America failed.
Except for paying the rent..
We have had no relationship this year. He sees me.. for an hour.. for dinner.. as he has taken Cheryl on at least half a dozen or more week long trips to exotic places.
I'm by no means saying he doesn't have a right to travel with his wife.. but..
It might have been nice.. if.. considering the hell I went through.. if he and I did.. an overnight or weekend trip somewhere.
He is content to see me for lunch.. for an hour.,.
Additionally. I've posted how vicious his extended family has been to me this year..
He will attack my dead mother.. but has never once expressed outrage at their behavior to me..
As much as I hope to one day soon find a kind and nice woman to share time with.. I think to myself..
"How can I bring someone I would love, and who I would hope loves me.. into this putrid situation with him? If I one day decided to have children.. how could I have that child around this vicious man?"
For the cynics who say "You ingrate, he could have left you in the street when your mother died".
Maybe,,.. but he didn't for two reasons.
1. I have a lot of information on him. It would not have looked good had I told people what he did to me with the taxes.
And.
2. He has control over the money I inherited.. because of problems I have.. He loves to dole out money to me.
That and..
His vicious family and him were able to treat me just as viciously as they saw fit. I couldn't "Run to Mom" anymore.
"God helps those who help themselves"
People know my theory on this.
"God" didn't help me when I busted my ass on many businesses. Nor did he help me when I approached business sources to get the new business I want to do..
We'll see if "God" helps me with how I'm killing myself to pass the insurance exam.
Then there's the probing my father does.
I know nothing about him. I don't know how much money he makes.. or what he has financially for himself.
I'm the only adult child I know who doesn't know. Even my ex best friend.., whose parents were far from open people.. knew his father's salaries.. and the settlement his father gave his mother when the parents split. My friend Barney, and other past friends.. always knew their parents finances.
When my mom was alive. maybe I could see why he wanted to keep things a secret. She got royally screwed in the divorce.. same pittance of alimony.. for 21 years.. no property settlement, as he went on, and traveled the world.
What would be the harm in my knowing now? She cant drag him back to court for more money from the grave.
It kills me.. this Son of a Bitch won.. on every point.. as my mom suffered and died of the worst disease.
He asks me all kinds of questions.. about my life.,. when I know nothing about him.
I told him the other day at lunch that I firmly believe he enjoys when I fail, so he can say "Sheila fucked him up". He angrily said "That was your mother putting that into your head". Oh, really, you son of a bitch.. so why then did you not pay for the graduate school education you promised to in writing? Why did you never discuss another business with me when Market America failed? Why are you discussing nothing with me to help my future now? All of what I';ve done with Aflac is all myself.
2012 was a lost year.. I was mourning my mom's loss. 2013.. has been a rebuilding year.. to get back into the work force.. and build a career for myself.
If I ever get anything I want..
2014 has to be the year I become financially free of him..
For those who think "You want to live off DAD, you, lazy bum".
To this I say the following..
If you're not standing in my shoes.. don't judge me, judge yourself.
In 2012, maybe.,. with as miserable as I was over my mom's loss.. and as I'd never had experience much in the real work force due to my problems and past business failures.
I had hoped that when I went back with him and his family, if I acted gracious.. didn't bring up the past.. and behaved like a gentleman.. that I would be treated well.
Such hasn't happened.
What HAS happened is exactly what my mom predicted.
She said if I was to see his family.. and be with him on a regular basis.. he would abuse me, ignore me, and his family would do the same.
I hope and pray to pass the insurance exam very soon. At that point.. if I have to take some job part time temporarially to make some money until I build up a business with insurance.. then so be it.
Then I hope the business takes off,
I don't have any aspirations immediately to live in a penthouse on Park Avenue.. or even to live in the ridiculously priced apartment that the SOB lives in.
I just want to be able to support my studio apartment here, and my expenses.
So I can be free..
My favorite one is this..
He was asking me "Questions" about things with Aflac on Sunday.. so many that I was becoming annoyed.
He mentioned how some business person he met in Philadelphia the other night.. was getting annoyed by his questions.
This.. by someone.. who is one of the most hidden people on the planet.
He announces his trips to me.. a day in advance.
The more I type this.. the sicker I get.
So.. Crystal Clear.. to everyone.. especially those who have criticized me for wanting to "Live off Daddy".
Infatically
NO
I just want to pass my exam.. so I can make money as fast as possible.. so I can say the famous words of the great Dr King.
Free At Last.. Free At Last.. Thank God Almighty.. Free At Last!
One final thing:
This bastard can go off about anything he wants.. but I have no right to discuss anything that bothers me.
When I discussed on Sunday how disappointed I was that I was ignored by the sources I approached for my business. his reaction wasn't anything like "I',m sorry Mitch, and we're going to see what we can do to get someone to help you with it"
He said..
"It was a long shot.. those things happen in business,. and you just have to accept it.".
Everything.. cold.. cut and dry.. unsupportive.
HE must have loved when such happened. Had the source I approached listened to me, I might have been on my way to being free of him by now.. Since they didn't, he has me for longer.
What I mean is this..
I;m busting my ass.. many hours a day, to get the insurance license I want to have. At that point.. I want to make as much money, as fast as possible.. to cover my apartment.. and all my expenses.
So I can then do what I really should..
Pay my father every last penny. he laid out for me since I've been in NY, ask him why we should stay together, and tell him to go straight to hell for the rest of his miserable life.
It gets worse.. as I knew it would.. as it always does with him.
He is the biggest hypocrite on the face of the planet.
I've asked him not to attack my dead mother.. but.. he just cant control himself.
His latest attack on Sunday.. was that she "Held me back" to keep me living with her, to keep her alimony check coming.
Negating the fact that he..
Did not pay for my graduate education as he'd promised.
Left my complex taxes undone for 12 years from 1990 to 2002... so I could not even get loans or financial aid to go to Grad School like a poor person.
Never discussed my future with me after Market America failed.
Except for paying the rent..
We have had no relationship this year. He sees me.. for an hour.. for dinner.. as he has taken Cheryl on at least half a dozen or more week long trips to exotic places.
I'm by no means saying he doesn't have a right to travel with his wife.. but..
It might have been nice.. if.. considering the hell I went through.. if he and I did.. an overnight or weekend trip somewhere.
He is content to see me for lunch.. for an hour.,.
Additionally. I've posted how vicious his extended family has been to me this year..
He will attack my dead mother.. but has never once expressed outrage at their behavior to me..
As much as I hope to one day soon find a kind and nice woman to share time with.. I think to myself..
"How can I bring someone I would love, and who I would hope loves me.. into this putrid situation with him? If I one day decided to have children.. how could I have that child around this vicious man?"
For the cynics who say "You ingrate, he could have left you in the street when your mother died".
Maybe,,.. but he didn't for two reasons.
1. I have a lot of information on him. It would not have looked good had I told people what he did to me with the taxes.
And.
2. He has control over the money I inherited.. because of problems I have.. He loves to dole out money to me.
That and..
His vicious family and him were able to treat me just as viciously as they saw fit. I couldn't "Run to Mom" anymore.
"God helps those who help themselves"
People know my theory on this.
"God" didn't help me when I busted my ass on many businesses. Nor did he help me when I approached business sources to get the new business I want to do..
We'll see if "God" helps me with how I'm killing myself to pass the insurance exam.
Then there's the probing my father does.
I know nothing about him. I don't know how much money he makes.. or what he has financially for himself.
I'm the only adult child I know who doesn't know. Even my ex best friend.., whose parents were far from open people.. knew his father's salaries.. and the settlement his father gave his mother when the parents split. My friend Barney, and other past friends.. always knew their parents finances.
When my mom was alive. maybe I could see why he wanted to keep things a secret. She got royally screwed in the divorce.. same pittance of alimony.. for 21 years.. no property settlement, as he went on, and traveled the world.
What would be the harm in my knowing now? She cant drag him back to court for more money from the grave.
It kills me.. this Son of a Bitch won.. on every point.. as my mom suffered and died of the worst disease.
He asks me all kinds of questions.. about my life.,. when I know nothing about him.
I told him the other day at lunch that I firmly believe he enjoys when I fail, so he can say "Sheila fucked him up". He angrily said "That was your mother putting that into your head". Oh, really, you son of a bitch.. so why then did you not pay for the graduate school education you promised to in writing? Why did you never discuss another business with me when Market America failed? Why are you discussing nothing with me to help my future now? All of what I';ve done with Aflac is all myself.
2012 was a lost year.. I was mourning my mom's loss. 2013.. has been a rebuilding year.. to get back into the work force.. and build a career for myself.
If I ever get anything I want..
2014 has to be the year I become financially free of him..
For those who think "You want to live off DAD, you, lazy bum".
To this I say the following..
If you're not standing in my shoes.. don't judge me, judge yourself.
In 2012, maybe.,. with as miserable as I was over my mom's loss.. and as I'd never had experience much in the real work force due to my problems and past business failures.
I had hoped that when I went back with him and his family, if I acted gracious.. didn't bring up the past.. and behaved like a gentleman.. that I would be treated well.
Such hasn't happened.
What HAS happened is exactly what my mom predicted.
She said if I was to see his family.. and be with him on a regular basis.. he would abuse me, ignore me, and his family would do the same.
I hope and pray to pass the insurance exam very soon. At that point.. if I have to take some job part time temporarially to make some money until I build up a business with insurance.. then so be it.
Then I hope the business takes off,
I don't have any aspirations immediately to live in a penthouse on Park Avenue.. or even to live in the ridiculously priced apartment that the SOB lives in.
I just want to be able to support my studio apartment here, and my expenses.
So I can be free..
My favorite one is this..
He was asking me "Questions" about things with Aflac on Sunday.. so many that I was becoming annoyed.
He mentioned how some business person he met in Philadelphia the other night.. was getting annoyed by his questions.
This.. by someone.. who is one of the most hidden people on the planet.
He announces his trips to me.. a day in advance.
The more I type this.. the sicker I get.
So.. Crystal Clear.. to everyone.. especially those who have criticized me for wanting to "Live off Daddy".
Infatically
NO
I just want to pass my exam.. so I can make money as fast as possible.. so I can say the famous words of the great Dr King.
Free At Last.. Free At Last.. Thank God Almighty.. Free At Last!
One final thing:
This bastard can go off about anything he wants.. but I have no right to discuss anything that bothers me.
When I discussed on Sunday how disappointed I was that I was ignored by the sources I approached for my business. his reaction wasn't anything like "I',m sorry Mitch, and we're going to see what we can do to get someone to help you with it"
He said..
"It was a long shot.. those things happen in business,. and you just have to accept it.".
Everything.. cold.. cut and dry.. unsupportive.
HE must have loved when such happened. Had the source I approached listened to me, I might have been on my way to being free of him by now.. Since they didn't, he has me for longer.
