Oh, snap. I just noticed that the HTML code is off. Why is that? The BB Code is on, which is just wanna-be HTML. I NEED HTML, DAMNIT! 
Not exactly how I had planned on starting this entry, but I noticed it in the posting rules as I was starting to type. I figured a Mod'll eventually see this, so maybe they can discuss why the hell they would let such an atrocity occur.
I have a job interview today at 2. I'm pretty stoked although I can't figure out how the fuck to get back home. I almost ended up in the God-awful area of Honyoe Falls yesterday.
My son is standing on my scale. He watches me too much.
Oh yeah, I was chatting in the dope new chatroom and a mildly amusing banner popped up. I screencapped it for everyone's enjoyment:
See? Get it? Tickling? Wakka wakka!
It looks kinda lame now. I must have been tired last night.
I've re-discovered a song loaded with epic amounts of semi-decent memories. I'm listening to it right now.
Have you ever had one of those moments where a random song pops onto your radio or you've subconsciously added it to your play list without really realizing what form of impact it could do to you if you listen to it?
That's kinda what's happening right now.
See, I can't embed it, because it won't ALLOW ME TO POST HTML!!
Here's the song link: Clickie.
All I keep thinking about when I hear this is the only chunk of time when I wasn't involved in some chaotic clusterfuck of a relationship. I was skinny and considered myself semi-attractive.
I carried a CD Player and spent weeks at a time in Waterport, NY. I was with one of my girlfriend's, but she was always with her boyfriend. That was okay with me, because I got to be alone. Just me and my music. I didn't have anyone to answer to and I could do pretty much what I wanted to.
Every morning bright and early, I would climb out of bed and wander the less then 2 minutes walk to the beach. CD player and Diet coke in one hand, a Marlboro menthol clamped between my lips. It was always sunny there. Warm too. This song would be playing as I'd sit on the steps to the beach, watching the water hit the rocks and admire the sun slowly creeping higher into the sky.
I was happy then. I can still remember that.
I'm glad we took pictures of those times there. That's where this one came from:
See the sun slamming into my otherwise pasty body from the left? That's where the beach was.
We would make poorly crafted bonfires and smoke pot. I ate a lot of cereal and smiled a lot.
I look at that picture and want to stab myself in the face sometimes. Despite the mess, it gave me a fucking awesome little bastard of a son, who is my world. But sometimes I just wish I could have just taken the baby and not the mess that came along with it.
I'm not that same girl, but I still haven't given up on finding some shred of happiness and then spreading it so it takes up my whole existence again. Then I can go back to that place, a little older and a lot more cynical, but happy.
I know it's possible. I still have those pants. They still are too big also. If that's not a sign, then I don't know what else is.
- Jo.
Not exactly how I had planned on starting this entry, but I noticed it in the posting rules as I was starting to type. I figured a Mod'll eventually see this, so maybe they can discuss why the hell they would let such an atrocity occur.
I have a job interview today at 2. I'm pretty stoked although I can't figure out how the fuck to get back home. I almost ended up in the God-awful area of Honyoe Falls yesterday.
My son is standing on my scale. He watches me too much.
Oh yeah, I was chatting in the dope new chatroom and a mildly amusing banner popped up. I screencapped it for everyone's enjoyment:
See? Get it? Tickling? Wakka wakka!
It looks kinda lame now. I must have been tired last night.
I've re-discovered a song loaded with epic amounts of semi-decent memories. I'm listening to it right now.
Have you ever had one of those moments where a random song pops onto your radio or you've subconsciously added it to your play list without really realizing what form of impact it could do to you if you listen to it?
That's kinda what's happening right now.
See, I can't embed it, because it won't ALLOW ME TO POST HTML!!
Here's the song link: Clickie.
All I keep thinking about when I hear this is the only chunk of time when I wasn't involved in some chaotic clusterfuck of a relationship. I was skinny and considered myself semi-attractive.
I carried a CD Player and spent weeks at a time in Waterport, NY. I was with one of my girlfriend's, but she was always with her boyfriend. That was okay with me, because I got to be alone. Just me and my music. I didn't have anyone to answer to and I could do pretty much what I wanted to.
Every morning bright and early, I would climb out of bed and wander the less then 2 minutes walk to the beach. CD player and Diet coke in one hand, a Marlboro menthol clamped between my lips. It was always sunny there. Warm too. This song would be playing as I'd sit on the steps to the beach, watching the water hit the rocks and admire the sun slowly creeping higher into the sky.
I was happy then. I can still remember that.
I'm glad we took pictures of those times there. That's where this one came from:
See the sun slamming into my otherwise pasty body from the left? That's where the beach was.
We would make poorly crafted bonfires and smoke pot. I ate a lot of cereal and smiled a lot.
I look at that picture and want to stab myself in the face sometimes. Despite the mess, it gave me a fucking awesome little bastard of a son, who is my world. But sometimes I just wish I could have just taken the baby and not the mess that came along with it.
I'm not that same girl, but I still haven't given up on finding some shred of happiness and then spreading it so it takes up my whole existence again. Then I can go back to that place, a little older and a lot more cynical, but happy.
I know it's possible. I still have those pants. They still are too big also. If that's not a sign, then I don't know what else is.
- Jo.
