Lost My Angel Dog Thursday

I can't believe that we had to put Shayna to sleep. I'm still in shock, and I except to see her around the house at every turn. I know it's only been 3 days, but my God I can't believe she is gone. She had tumors covering most of her lungs and that is why she had trouble breathing. I wish that she would have died at home, I was ready for that, and selfishly so I didn't have to make the put to sleep decision. I feel like I let her down, with the not knowing about the tumors and think she might have been trying to tell me she was in some pain. I had to put her down right then, b/c I couldn't stand another night of her not eating, it was like she was starving herself to death. She was down 20 lbs since arriving here 3 years ago, which is a ton of weight for a dog. I am lost without her, cannot concentrate on pretty much anything, and don't even know how I am typing this right now. This is not a good start to this new year. Rest in Peace my Shayna Lynn, I will love you forever and will see you again when it is my time.