Made it back alive (despite the odds!)

Ok, so I've gotten back from my road trip up north. I hope everyone has had a great Christmas! 🙂

I see I have a lot of catching up to do on the forum, so bear with me for the next couple of days. But I guess for now we'll have to settle with the mission report:

First of all, it was great to meet all my relatives again - especially my cousins as we have a pretty strong bond. It's the first time in several years that I've met them all at one time, so yeah, nice! Oooh and I got some really nice books that I look forward to reading, including I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President and A Practical Guide to Racism. They should both be awesome reads!

But let's get to business! Knowing me, I didn't head on a 12-hour road trip up north just to reconnect with with relatives, fate would never allow that! As I arrive, one of my cousins tells me she has an extra ticket to this bar-event-thingie the night before I head back home, and she thinks I should tag along. I've never partied with my cousins before since I've been below the legal drinking age, so I figured It was high time for me to show them a thing or two about how to party! >:3

It didn't go well though, and it started off poorly even before we headed off to the bar! One of my cousins friends, Sandra, was at the house making drinks for everyone. She goes "Ola, you want a poisonous little devil before we head out, don't you? Come oooonnn!"

Trouble ahead! Drinking at home AND at a bar? As a rule I don't do both in one night because I tend to get terribly sick and/or hammered, but I was hell-bent on drinking at the bar tonight! So I should refuse the drink, right? Well, no can do. I have two golden rules: First of all, as a true gentleman I never say no to a lady, and secondly (and more importantly) I never turn down free alcohol! So yeah... It wasn't long until Sandra was screaming "Refill! Refill!", and the sneaky little she-thing even increased the amount of vodka this time. Luckily she had to head out before the rest of us before she had a chance to give me a Round 3, but just as she leaves my cousin Anders enters the room instead, holding up a bag of beer bottles. He asks me to sit down and sample them with him, and well, he may not be a lady, but I still can't say no to free alcohol...

I guess I totalled about 3 bottles with him before we were finally off to the pub, and I thought to myself: "Great! I'll go buy a beer and go easy for a while, maybe hit the dance floor..." So I go buy said beer, go back to the table where we were seated. I look at Anders, sitting there with a plethora of drink glasses. So I ask him, "what's all this then?" Naturally, Anders goes: "I didn't know if you had brought enough money, so I bought you a couple of drinks to get started!"

Ace...

By the time we hit the dance floor I was already in the "drunk dial" stage And then my cousin who had given me the ticket showed up with her husband. The latter had seen me chugging with Sandra and Anders back home and was pretty impressed since it didn't seem to have affected me, and he was hellbent on finding out how much I could drink. As I stood on the dance floor I found myself with beer bottle after beer bottle being handed to me, and I just knew that bad things were about to happen.

As is known by now, drunken Carsomyr's tend to wander off aimlessly, and I guess my cousins didn't notice, because eventually I find myself outside the pub, running into a police officer. I couldn't stand straight for the life of me, and I probably seemed pretty lost at that, so the fellow walks up to me to check things out.

"So what are you up to?" he asked (or well, something like that). I was thinking like crazy, since I didn't want to get into trouble - something that is unfortunately a specialty of mine. I figured, maybe I should pretend like I didn't understand him, maybe I should try speaking english and pretend to be a tourist! Police officers are supposed to be nice and helpful to tourists, right? If I was lucky, maybe I could even get a ride home I thought. (Yeah I know, wishful thinking, but I was drunk as hell and thought we could become buddies)

But then I realized that chances are, the officer probably knows enough English to ask me a bunch of questions that I would, without a doubt, come up with terrible, terrible answers to. So, I figured, what other languages are there? German? Chances are, he's less likely to understand that, so I blurted out what probably sounded like a very confused "Entschuldigung, Ich verstehe nicht". I suppose he just watched me for a while as I tried to lean on the wall in as sober a manner as possible, before he replied with something like "Uh... Deutsch?" to which I just nodded.

I was all "YAY! Iz working! He's gonna go away now!" but yeah, you really think I am that lucky? He simply calls over his colleague standing a couple of meters away, and explains the situation. The second officer starts babbling on in German and I don't understand a thing.

This was a VERY bad time for my brain to do a complete restart.

I figured: "So... they're speaking German? Well, in that case they won't understand me if I reply in Swedish! I'm saved!" So I just say (in Swedish) "I'm sorry, officers, I have no idea what you're saying."

I then realized what an idiot I am, and I probably would have facepalmed if I had only had my coordination intact. The original officer just glares at me, and I mean I was drunk, but I could still read his facial expression. It was beyond describing. He then said something like "Son, I have no idea what you're up to, but I think it's time for you to go home."

Luckily the officers walked away after I agreed to call for a ride home, and after doing that, it turns out the bar has just closed, because Anders has finally realized that I'm gone and calls my cell. XD He and the others come outside and we catch our ride home. There I mostly just remember everyone laughing at me, and after telling them I had had a run-in with a police officer they all went "well, you're certainly not the first in the family to do that!". Hehe, I guess it's in the genes. 😉

Anyways, eventually they all went to bed, and I suppose they left me to pass out on my kitchen chair or something, or maybe I went up to my room to sleep, but either way at 5 am I wake up outside the house in a big snowdrift. 3 hours later I'm in the car on our long road-trip home, surprisingly enough without any sign of a hangover! 😵

I guess... yay me, but I think I need to revise my golden rule on free alcohol...​