Cliques. *cringes* For some that equals a curse. No, worse than a curse. For others they believe cliques exist on this forum. Honestly there were times where I felt like there were cliques.
I spent a good portion of my years on TMF as a lurker. At the beginning because of my age then later because of a lack of confidence in my abilities to make friends. I was never good at making friends. It was miracle that I had any growing up. A blessing.
I slowly became more active in the past few years, sticking to the General section (mainly the SSF 😀). I made a few friends but still didn't know anyone. At times I felt jealous of the easy friendships everyone seemed to have. A clique in that high school mentality of a group of popular kids. Everyone wants to be friends with the popular kids. They want the popular kids to notice them, to start talking to them.
A few months ago, I decided to take control and start making more friends on here. In the past few months, I've learned so much about myself and about this forum. This may come as a shock, but there is no clique. Just friends who gladly welcome new friends.
I've seen threads over the years that would mention that dreaded C-word. As the flames were fanned, ill-advice would be offered in the forum: If you want to make friends, be more active. *cringe* Now that makes me cringe. Members who give that advice mean well, they truly do. They just forget that it's not that simple.
You can be as active as milagros, have nearly 200,000 posts but still gets you nowhere in terms of making friends. Being active on this forum is only half of the equation. The other half is taking the plunge and starting a conversation with someone else. You'll never make friends if you just sit on your ass waiting for someone to send you that first PM. If there's one thing I've learned in the past few months is that you have to grab the bull by the horns and be the first to send a PM to someone you want to get to know.
I would never have made the friends I have in the past few months, if I hadn't. And it was hard diving in and send PMs to people I've been wanting to get to know. The first few PMs I sent, in the first few lines, I basically said "Hey I suck at this but this is my attempt to make friends...". Amazingly no one slammed the door in my face. Everyone's been so kind and friendly.
And if it wasn't for making those friends, I would not have the incentive, the determination to go to a gathering next year. That is my goal; I am saving up so I can go.
If you want to make friends on here, be active, be yourself, be honest, and take the plunge and send someone a PM. As time goes by, it gets easier and you won't regret it.
Remember we've all been there. We've all been newbies at one point or another. Had the same fears and hesitations. But trust me, your experience on TMF becomes so much better when you take that plunge.
*** Thank you, Krazie, for the inspiration for this blog. Hopefully I'll do our convo justice. 😛
***
I spent a good portion of my years on TMF as a lurker. At the beginning because of my age then later because of a lack of confidence in my abilities to make friends. I was never good at making friends. It was miracle that I had any growing up. A blessing.
I slowly became more active in the past few years, sticking to the General section (mainly the SSF 😀). I made a few friends but still didn't know anyone. At times I felt jealous of the easy friendships everyone seemed to have. A clique in that high school mentality of a group of popular kids. Everyone wants to be friends with the popular kids. They want the popular kids to notice them, to start talking to them.
A few months ago, I decided to take control and start making more friends on here. In the past few months, I've learned so much about myself and about this forum. This may come as a shock, but there is no clique. Just friends who gladly welcome new friends.
I've seen threads over the years that would mention that dreaded C-word. As the flames were fanned, ill-advice would be offered in the forum: If you want to make friends, be more active. *cringe* Now that makes me cringe. Members who give that advice mean well, they truly do. They just forget that it's not that simple.
You can be as active as milagros, have nearly 200,000 posts but still gets you nowhere in terms of making friends. Being active on this forum is only half of the equation. The other half is taking the plunge and starting a conversation with someone else. You'll never make friends if you just sit on your ass waiting for someone to send you that first PM. If there's one thing I've learned in the past few months is that you have to grab the bull by the horns and be the first to send a PM to someone you want to get to know.
I would never have made the friends I have in the past few months, if I hadn't. And it was hard diving in and send PMs to people I've been wanting to get to know. The first few PMs I sent, in the first few lines, I basically said "Hey I suck at this but this is my attempt to make friends...". Amazingly no one slammed the door in my face. Everyone's been so kind and friendly.
And if it wasn't for making those friends, I would not have the incentive, the determination to go to a gathering next year. That is my goal; I am saving up so I can go.
If you want to make friends on here, be active, be yourself, be honest, and take the plunge and send someone a PM. As time goes by, it gets easier and you won't regret it.
Remember we've all been there. We've all been newbies at one point or another. Had the same fears and hesitations. But trust me, your experience on TMF becomes so much better when you take that plunge.
*** Thank you, Krazie, for the inspiration for this blog. Hopefully I'll do our convo justice. 😛
***
I just booked my flight...