Those who read this, and know what I went through with my mom.. must be like "WTF, he suffered along with his mom, and watched her die, how could that not be the worst time?"
Let me be very clear, Of course that was the worst time of my life. The 25 months between the time my mom took sick, and her passing, was the biggest nightmare of my life.
However..
At that point. and for a year thereafter, as many know, I was doing nothing to help myself in my own life. I was.. paralyzed from my mom's death, and the aftermath.
Now.. in the past.. year plus.
I've done everything to rebuild my life. I passed a professional license exam, and got a position with one of the largest insurance companies in the world, only to have every roadblock thrown in my way by my supervisor's rules of who we couldnt sign. Only to be led to believe, for five months, that a giant account was signing, and to find out they were not signing, and thus be forced to leave Aflac.
Now, in the past two months..
I've tried to rebound from the very painful experience of what happened with Aflac. I've sent out, literally, hundreds of replies to job ads, and been on many interviews... to no avail.
I cant even enjoy the one thing that still brings me happiness, my computer, to spend time online with my friends, and watch Jim Gardner, or Youtube videos. Even that had to be infected with malware.
Its like.. what the fuck do I have to do for things to get better?
"God helps those who help themselves"
What has he done to help me... especially in the past almost year and a half, as I've worked so dilligently to help myself, after the heartbreak of watching my mom suffer and die.
Even my always difficult father admitted yesterday that I have every right to fee frustrated.
I keep trying, with the hope that something good will finally happen, but wonder when it will.
Let me be very clear, Of course that was the worst time of my life. The 25 months between the time my mom took sick, and her passing, was the biggest nightmare of my life.
However..
At that point. and for a year thereafter, as many know, I was doing nothing to help myself in my own life. I was.. paralyzed from my mom's death, and the aftermath.
Now.. in the past.. year plus.
I've done everything to rebuild my life. I passed a professional license exam, and got a position with one of the largest insurance companies in the world, only to have every roadblock thrown in my way by my supervisor's rules of who we couldnt sign. Only to be led to believe, for five months, that a giant account was signing, and to find out they were not signing, and thus be forced to leave Aflac.
Now, in the past two months..
I've tried to rebound from the very painful experience of what happened with Aflac. I've sent out, literally, hundreds of replies to job ads, and been on many interviews... to no avail.
I cant even enjoy the one thing that still brings me happiness, my computer, to spend time online with my friends, and watch Jim Gardner, or Youtube videos. Even that had to be infected with malware.
Its like.. what the fuck do I have to do for things to get better?
"God helps those who help themselves"
What has he done to help me... especially in the past almost year and a half, as I've worked so dilligently to help myself, after the heartbreak of watching my mom suffer and die.
Even my always difficult father admitted yesterday that I have every right to fee frustrated.
I keep trying, with the hope that something good will finally happen, but wonder when it will.
