I;m going to create this blog entry, and post it here, with the hope that it wont cause the furor that the threads in the main forum did, and that hopefully, any replies will be civil.
I had a professor in college once who said "If you don't know why, you don't know anything". He didn't want to know the right answer to the question. His main concern, was Why.
"Why" is Mitch feeling/acting the way he is.
After watching his mother';s suffering, and death, and dealing with her illness for over two years all by himself, and being in a mindset of not caring about his own life, or whether, he was even alive, for 18 months..
Mitch gets a chance to work at one of the biggest insurance companies in the world, and passes a professional licensing exam in a field he had no previous experience in.
Mitch is told a big, career altering client is going to sign, only to be led along for five months, not have them sign, and be forced to leave the position he loves.
Everyone knows themselves..
My frame of mind when I was working at the insurance company, was the best it had been since college. I loved my work, the challenges, and looked forward to my future.
Then, I had it all taken away, and have spent the last three months, unsuccessfully looking for jobs, that are often given to people half my age.
I have no one in my life, except maybe my speech therapist, who cares enough to discuss with me, about what I should do.
My relatives just say
"Do what you want",
My dad has made some terrible suggestions, most of which I wont post, but.. one of which is to leave NY.
So, I killed myself to pass this unfamiliar professional licensing exam.. to work in this big company, to hopefully earn the opportunity to be completely independent.. only to have it all taken away.
I'm still looking for jobs, of course, and will continue to. I apply to jobs every day.
I also have a plan for a business, that I'm not going to post, unless it happens, and maybe not even then, considering the furor that the other threads have caused.
So when people attack me, here, and on Facebook, etc etc, they don't look at the other side of the coin.
Anyone who thinks that it's my goal to just be this lazy spoiled brat, who wants to live off my father in this apartment, positively doesn't understand me at all, and is delusional.
People who understand my relationship with him, how hard I worked at Aflac to attempt to become independent, how diligently I've looked for a job without success since leaving Aflac in the last three months, and what I really want to do for a job/business, would know that "living off him", is the last thing I want to do.
When I was working at Aflac, even in spite of the account that fell through which caused me to leave..
I had a fire in my soul that I had not had since college, when I was a successful student.
Losing Aflac and the whole situation there, combined with the difficultly I've had with the job search over the past three months, has been a massive, massive blow.
I know there are many people on this forum who don't like me, no matter what I post.
Yet, for those who can understand the terrible feeling I've had since losing the situation at Aflac, combined with all the other issues, maybe people can see why I react as I do, when it seems like I'm being attacked, or threads are bumped which are months old, simply to continue discussion about painful issues, and for those who aren't meaning to be constructive, whether it is a
"Golden Rules Violation" or not.
That's all.
I had a professor in college once who said "If you don't know why, you don't know anything". He didn't want to know the right answer to the question. His main concern, was Why.
"Why" is Mitch feeling/acting the way he is.
After watching his mother';s suffering, and death, and dealing with her illness for over two years all by himself, and being in a mindset of not caring about his own life, or whether, he was even alive, for 18 months..
Mitch gets a chance to work at one of the biggest insurance companies in the world, and passes a professional licensing exam in a field he had no previous experience in.
Mitch is told a big, career altering client is going to sign, only to be led along for five months, not have them sign, and be forced to leave the position he loves.
Everyone knows themselves..
My frame of mind when I was working at the insurance company, was the best it had been since college. I loved my work, the challenges, and looked forward to my future.
Then, I had it all taken away, and have spent the last three months, unsuccessfully looking for jobs, that are often given to people half my age.
I have no one in my life, except maybe my speech therapist, who cares enough to discuss with me, about what I should do.
My relatives just say
"Do what you want",
My dad has made some terrible suggestions, most of which I wont post, but.. one of which is to leave NY.
So, I killed myself to pass this unfamiliar professional licensing exam.. to work in this big company, to hopefully earn the opportunity to be completely independent.. only to have it all taken away.
I'm still looking for jobs, of course, and will continue to. I apply to jobs every day.
I also have a plan for a business, that I'm not going to post, unless it happens, and maybe not even then, considering the furor that the other threads have caused.
So when people attack me, here, and on Facebook, etc etc, they don't look at the other side of the coin.
Anyone who thinks that it's my goal to just be this lazy spoiled brat, who wants to live off my father in this apartment, positively doesn't understand me at all, and is delusional.
People who understand my relationship with him, how hard I worked at Aflac to attempt to become independent, how diligently I've looked for a job without success since leaving Aflac in the last three months, and what I really want to do for a job/business, would know that "living off him", is the last thing I want to do.
When I was working at Aflac, even in spite of the account that fell through which caused me to leave..
I had a fire in my soul that I had not had since college, when I was a successful student.
Losing Aflac and the whole situation there, combined with the difficultly I've had with the job search over the past three months, has been a massive, massive blow.
I know there are many people on this forum who don't like me, no matter what I post.
Yet, for those who can understand the terrible feeling I've had since losing the situation at Aflac, combined with all the other issues, maybe people can see why I react as I do, when it seems like I'm being attacked, or threads are bumped which are months old, simply to continue discussion about painful issues, and for those who aren't meaning to be constructive, whether it is a
"Golden Rules Violation" or not.
That's all.
