Even though my mom will never be able to read this post, because of the circumstance of her having to spend the rest (of what will be a very short time) of her life in a nursing home, I just wanted to post to express how much I truly and dearly love my mom, and how she really is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me.
My mom loved me for me. She was proud that I graduated college. We had our own, seperate, special relationship. I have wonderful memories of times with her, even when we didnt have a lot of money, at the movies, trips to casinos once a year, resturants, the New Years we spent with our friends, holidays with our family. My relationship with my mom was never dependent on anyone else but us. She didnt tell me that I had to love, or deal with, my aunts, grandmother, or other family members.. to be her son. She always went to bat for me to make my life better, when I had problems in school, or with my father and his family. Her love never waivered. She was always my emotional rock.
Then, in 2010 when she was diagnosed with cancer, I was devestated. Yet, I stood by her, and rode with her to NJ, 3 hrs each way once a week, to see what I believed were the best doctors. I lived in NJ with her for three months last summer as she had radiation, I took her to the hospital in the middle of the night when needed, and stayed there with her for weeks on end at times. I'm merely stating fact. I dont consider myself to have done anything special. She deserved every bit of my love and loyalty through this ordeal. Even though she is angry with me now, due to her horrible brain cancer ordeal, and eventually may not know who I am, I will be there for her until the end. I will stand by the most wonderful person in my life, until she leaves me. After that, I will mourn her, for a very long time.
Natalie Merchant has a song called "Kind and Generous", that I love. In the song, she talks about a person who keeps on giving, and thanks them for their kindness and generousity. That song, to me, is representative of my relationship with my mom. She was so kind and generous to me always. She loved me, welcomed my friends into our home at times that she wasnt always feeling well, or it wasnt convinient for her. She stood up for me, if someone was hurting me, and she even gave or loaned money, when it was needed. To my mom, no one was more important than me. Any issues we had were minor, and, as she gets ready to pass on, all I will remember is the good times, and cherish the memories. I dont have any anger or resentment to my mom whatsoever.
As I've posted before, I dont know how much longer I have with my mom. Days, weeks, a month. Essentially, the loving person she was has already left, replaced by her body sitting there, with another personality. Even though this breaks my heart, all the important things that should be said between an adult child ready to lose his mother, and the mother, have been said. I think, and hope, my mom knows how much I love her.
My mom helped shape me into the person I am. The loyal, forgiving, kind individual that she is. We have the same values, in politics, and otherwise.
Mom, Thank You, for all the love you have given me in my life, and all the wonderful things you have done to enhance my life. I love you always, When your time does come to leave me, I will miss you forever.
Mitch
My mom loved me for me. She was proud that I graduated college. We had our own, seperate, special relationship. I have wonderful memories of times with her, even when we didnt have a lot of money, at the movies, trips to casinos once a year, resturants, the New Years we spent with our friends, holidays with our family. My relationship with my mom was never dependent on anyone else but us. She didnt tell me that I had to love, or deal with, my aunts, grandmother, or other family members.. to be her son. She always went to bat for me to make my life better, when I had problems in school, or with my father and his family. Her love never waivered. She was always my emotional rock.
Then, in 2010 when she was diagnosed with cancer, I was devestated. Yet, I stood by her, and rode with her to NJ, 3 hrs each way once a week, to see what I believed were the best doctors. I lived in NJ with her for three months last summer as she had radiation, I took her to the hospital in the middle of the night when needed, and stayed there with her for weeks on end at times. I'm merely stating fact. I dont consider myself to have done anything special. She deserved every bit of my love and loyalty through this ordeal. Even though she is angry with me now, due to her horrible brain cancer ordeal, and eventually may not know who I am, I will be there for her until the end. I will stand by the most wonderful person in my life, until she leaves me. After that, I will mourn her, for a very long time.
Natalie Merchant has a song called "Kind and Generous", that I love. In the song, she talks about a person who keeps on giving, and thanks them for their kindness and generousity. That song, to me, is representative of my relationship with my mom. She was so kind and generous to me always. She loved me, welcomed my friends into our home at times that she wasnt always feeling well, or it wasnt convinient for her. She stood up for me, if someone was hurting me, and she even gave or loaned money, when it was needed. To my mom, no one was more important than me. Any issues we had were minor, and, as she gets ready to pass on, all I will remember is the good times, and cherish the memories. I dont have any anger or resentment to my mom whatsoever.
As I've posted before, I dont know how much longer I have with my mom. Days, weeks, a month. Essentially, the loving person she was has already left, replaced by her body sitting there, with another personality. Even though this breaks my heart, all the important things that should be said between an adult child ready to lose his mother, and the mother, have been said. I think, and hope, my mom knows how much I love her.
My mom helped shape me into the person I am. The loyal, forgiving, kind individual that she is. We have the same values, in politics, and otherwise.
Mom, Thank You, for all the love you have given me in my life, and all the wonderful things you have done to enhance my life. I love you always, When your time does come to leave me, I will miss you forever.
Mitch
