Here goes my first non-intoxicated blog post.It's been a rather intersting several weeks off and that time ends tomorrow,at least for now.This is going to be a goal oriented blog post.
Situation is this,currently I am miserable as s**t and this needs to change.The recent time off has given me time to take a long look at things and where I stand.Like I have known for a long time,my job is the root of the majority of my problems.I gotta leave this f**kin' place,but that's easier said then done.I have given 8 years of my life,that's so depressing,to this place and throughout those years I have sacrificed quite a bit.A f**kin' lot actually.I'm noticing that I tend to curse quite a bit when speaking about my place of employment.
Let's take a look at why I stay there.First and foremost,money.I hate money and the bulls**t that surrounds it.Since I have been on my own this lifestyle is all I've known to support myself and grown accustomed(spelling)to it.I like the thought of being able to work harder for more money but with my ever growing list of injuries this is fast becoming not an option.Secondly,job security.This place isn't looking to get rid of me anytime soon,though sometimes I wish they would.For real,then I would have no choice but to find something else.Believe it or not another major thing keeping there is my toolbox.Lately that thing feels like a $10k anchor.I can't just get up and go,I'm going to have to have that thing towed out of there and stored someplace.The thought of paying to have that damn thing stored is not making me happy.Health insurance is another key factor,I NEED to have that.
Those are a few of the main things keeping me there.They may not seem like that much but it's a cluster.You may be wondering what makes this job so bad.Well,lets see.Long, unpredictable hours.''We need you to come in two hours early.We need you stay two hours later.We need you to work your day off for the next 3 months.''One might say,be happy you have a job or be happy you have the opportunity to work overtime and they have a point.It's nice to have that financial stability but at the same time you miss out on a lot of things that really matter in life and things that in the long run are far more precious.The realization of how much I've miseed out on has hit me like a wrecking ball and believe me I can take a hell of a shot but this hurts.
A few more reasons why I dislike it could be the constant exposure to toxic waste,toxic fumes,ear damaging noise,eye damaging light,constant cuts,bruises,burns,injuries.I could post an entire blog on the bulls**t assiciated with that place but I will leave it at that.All these things add up to ultimately make me a miserable prick and I hate it.I hate being the way that I am but no matter how hard I try I can't seem to change.I feel like I can't waste anymore time in life being miserable like this,life is too short and I don't need anymore regrets.Believe me I don't.
Here is the proposed outlook for the next several months,preferrably by the new year.FIND A NEW F**KIN' JOB!Gosh.That's gotta happen soon.One for my sanity,two I don't want to be disabled at the age of 27,soon to be 28.Next I need to find a woman.It's so difficult to start a successful,meaningful relationship when everything else in life is a complete cluster and you're just not youself.That's my next priority for sure.
My next goal I am going to attempt to work towards tonight as a matter of fact.Tonight I'm going to make my long awaited return to judo.It's helped me through tough times before and I really need it now.Right now in life I need a positve foundation to build from and judo will do that for me.But,there is a catch.Injuries.The first week of January this year I had an accident in judo and sprained my neck.Really bad injury,when it first happened I thought I broke my neck,yeah.It's been almost 9 months and now is the first time it's felt strong enough to where I can return.With the injury I suffered a month ago at work involving my lower back it just adds another element of risk.There also a bunch of other smaller injuries but I won't get to into them right now.One might say why go back?For me I'm at a time where I need the positve influence now more than ever and it's worth the risk.
So there it is.My next post is gonna tell a lot.Mostly on how I am managing physically.I'm more worried about getting hurt at work than I am with judo.For the last few weeks I have been stressing going back to work because I don't wanna get hurt but now I just wanna get rollin' and hit this mother f**ker runnin'.For better or worse I just wanna see what happens.You go through enough hard times in life and you learn to prepare for them.You know times are gonna be hard,uncertainty sucks,just hit em head on.In the long run,it may not work out for the best but that's life.
If nothing else,this weekend Minotauro fights Randy Couture and that's something to look forward to.By the end of this week I could be possibly hurt very badly,out of a job,completely miserable but at least I have this bout to look forward to.I do admire Randy for his amazing,undeniable achievements in mma but I'm hoping Minotauro can pull out the victory.It should be an unforgettable fight either way.🙂
Situation is this,currently I am miserable as s**t and this needs to change.The recent time off has given me time to take a long look at things and where I stand.Like I have known for a long time,my job is the root of the majority of my problems.I gotta leave this f**kin' place,but that's easier said then done.I have given 8 years of my life,that's so depressing,to this place and throughout those years I have sacrificed quite a bit.A f**kin' lot actually.I'm noticing that I tend to curse quite a bit when speaking about my place of employment.
Let's take a look at why I stay there.First and foremost,money.I hate money and the bulls**t that surrounds it.Since I have been on my own this lifestyle is all I've known to support myself and grown accustomed(spelling)to it.I like the thought of being able to work harder for more money but with my ever growing list of injuries this is fast becoming not an option.Secondly,job security.This place isn't looking to get rid of me anytime soon,though sometimes I wish they would.For real,then I would have no choice but to find something else.Believe it or not another major thing keeping there is my toolbox.Lately that thing feels like a $10k anchor.I can't just get up and go,I'm going to have to have that thing towed out of there and stored someplace.The thought of paying to have that damn thing stored is not making me happy.Health insurance is another key factor,I NEED to have that.
Those are a few of the main things keeping me there.They may not seem like that much but it's a cluster.You may be wondering what makes this job so bad.Well,lets see.Long, unpredictable hours.''We need you to come in two hours early.We need you stay two hours later.We need you to work your day off for the next 3 months.''One might say,be happy you have a job or be happy you have the opportunity to work overtime and they have a point.It's nice to have that financial stability but at the same time you miss out on a lot of things that really matter in life and things that in the long run are far more precious.The realization of how much I've miseed out on has hit me like a wrecking ball and believe me I can take a hell of a shot but this hurts.
A few more reasons why I dislike it could be the constant exposure to toxic waste,toxic fumes,ear damaging noise,eye damaging light,constant cuts,bruises,burns,injuries.I could post an entire blog on the bulls**t assiciated with that place but I will leave it at that.All these things add up to ultimately make me a miserable prick and I hate it.I hate being the way that I am but no matter how hard I try I can't seem to change.I feel like I can't waste anymore time in life being miserable like this,life is too short and I don't need anymore regrets.Believe me I don't.
Here is the proposed outlook for the next several months,preferrably by the new year.FIND A NEW F**KIN' JOB!Gosh.That's gotta happen soon.One for my sanity,two I don't want to be disabled at the age of 27,soon to be 28.Next I need to find a woman.It's so difficult to start a successful,meaningful relationship when everything else in life is a complete cluster and you're just not youself.That's my next priority for sure.
My next goal I am going to attempt to work towards tonight as a matter of fact.Tonight I'm going to make my long awaited return to judo.It's helped me through tough times before and I really need it now.Right now in life I need a positve foundation to build from and judo will do that for me.But,there is a catch.Injuries.The first week of January this year I had an accident in judo and sprained my neck.Really bad injury,when it first happened I thought I broke my neck,yeah.It's been almost 9 months and now is the first time it's felt strong enough to where I can return.With the injury I suffered a month ago at work involving my lower back it just adds another element of risk.There also a bunch of other smaller injuries but I won't get to into them right now.One might say why go back?For me I'm at a time where I need the positve influence now more than ever and it's worth the risk.
So there it is.My next post is gonna tell a lot.Mostly on how I am managing physically.I'm more worried about getting hurt at work than I am with judo.For the last few weeks I have been stressing going back to work because I don't wanna get hurt but now I just wanna get rollin' and hit this mother f**ker runnin'.For better or worse I just wanna see what happens.You go through enough hard times in life and you learn to prepare for them.You know times are gonna be hard,uncertainty sucks,just hit em head on.In the long run,it may not work out for the best but that's life.
If nothing else,this weekend Minotauro fights Randy Couture and that's something to look forward to.By the end of this week I could be possibly hurt very badly,out of a job,completely miserable but at least I have this bout to look forward to.I do admire Randy for his amazing,undeniable achievements in mma but I'm hoping Minotauro can pull out the victory.It should be an unforgettable fight either way.🙂
