Of course, it's Mother;s Day 2016.
Happy Mother's Day to all the forum mothers, and for those members that are lucky enough to still have their mother with them.
Of course, this will be my fifth Mother's Day without my beloved mom.
I hope she is happy and joyous in Heaven, enjoying herself with my grandmother, and all of our other dearly departed relatives.
I'm the only person, I know, in my family, and of my friends.. in real life, who doesn't have their mother.
I will be spending Mother's Day with my aunt the artist.
My father, will be spending his day, as he always does, celebrating his wife's motherhood, without me.
It saddens, and angers me,
This woman, his wife, who has been nothing but uncivilized to me.
Who married him not caring that he and I were estranged.
And,.. who got her wish.. for me to lose Aflac.. before it even got started.
The week after I passed the insurance exam.. as all on here who know me are aware. I was.. euphoric. I had snapped out of my year long depression after my mom;s death, had passed a professional licensing exam, and was on my way to working at a major insurance company.
Instead of my father's wife doing the normal thing, and saying something.. civil.. after I worked so hard to pass the insurance exam, and had secured a position at a major company. something such as "Mitch, that's great you passed the exam, and got the job at Aflac, I hope it works out for you"
. this woman said the following to me.
"If Aflac doesn;t work, you;ll get a job".
Completely uncalled for,,. and cruel, considering, I didnt know what was going to happen at 'Aflac yet.
Knowing how I had suffered, watching my mom suffer and die, dealing with it all alone..
This woman was wishing my insurance career to fail before it even got started.
As we know, she got her wish.
When I tell my father how evil she was to say that, before I even knew what was going to happen at Aflac.. he had his usual justification for those who act cruel to me.
"She didnt mean anything by it, she just believes in jobs".
Such a cop out, and a continuation of how anything that any of his "chosen people" say that is just fine with him.
Yet, she is fine to celebrate Mother';s Day with her children and grandchildren, and my wonderful mother, who was a kind, generous, warm person, is gone.
This woman, my father';s wife, didn't even have the decency to send me, a civil e-mail, when I had my brush with death in December due to my seizures.
All this, and I can't find a position.. so I can be free of my father.
People wonder why I question "God".
In many ways, the past year and a half since I lost Aflac. has been worse than the year plus after my mom passed away.
After my mom passed away, I was doing nothing to help myself.
Now, I'm running on interviews every day.
To no avail.
Not even friends with connections in the insurance industry, can help me.
I told my aunt the artist tonight, that if things continue like this.. I hope one of my seizures kills me.
She gives me the whole. "You're so young, you can turn it around",.
Let;s go down the list of reasons for me to have hope.,
My wonderful mother. "Gone, suffered and died at a very young age".
My insurance career that I killed myself to have.. non existent, as no insurance company wants me.
My job search.. never ending, and seemingly, an effort in futility,.
My relationship with my father :Non existent. He is so.. foolish, that he sends me. quotes of what my uncle, and my father's wife, think of me, not using his brain to realize that these people want the worst for me, with my uncle who wished me to be on SSD for the rest of my life, and with my father's wife, who wished me to lose Aflac before it even got started.
I;m well aware that everything I have can all be taken away from me at one swoop.
Apartment, money, etc etc etc,.
I press on, and continue to try, but simply put.
I dont fear that.. nor do I fear something happening to me, the way I did to my mom.
"God helps those who help themselves"
Bullshit.
If that was true.. with the way I killed myself to pass that insurance exam, the law firm account that was waved in front of my face,., would have signed, with how hard we worked on it, for five months, and I would still be working at Aflac. Instead, the law firm didnt sign, and I was forced to resign from Aflac.
I would have a job, in entry level marketing, insurance, etc, with as much as I've ran around killing myself to find one since I left Aflac.
Just the other day, I went to a job interview, of a company I was forced to cancel with, when I had a seizure incident a couple of months ago.
It was at an outsourcing office I had been to before, for other companies.
The interviewer, a smug, nasty guy, said
"Havent I see you before?"
I was angered at his delivery, but kept my cool, saying.
"Yes, sir, I've been here for interviews, but not for this job".
He quickly said. "You're not right for this position", and dismissed me after one minute, after I had taken a two hour train ride round trip to meet with him.
The only person in my life now.. who could relate to my feelings when I was working at Aflac, was the Dean of my college, who I went to see just two years ago, while I was working at Aflac.
The Dean was concerned that I've been single for a long time, but she did say that I looked happy.
Mitch being happy means nothing.. because..
My father's wife is the one.. she got her wish for me to lose it all, before it even started.
Yet, God smiles on her, in spite of her evil, and my wonderful mother is in the grave,.
I will know there's a God when one of two things happens.
One. I'm rewarded for my diligent effort of job search, with a decent paying job, where I can begein to prosper, and feel better about myself.
Two, my father's miserable human being wife, is punished, for her evil wishes to me about losing Aflac, and things my father has said she has said about me, since I lost Aflac.
End of rant.
I guess,. the bottom line, is, I miss my mom terribly, and in spite of how hard I;m working, things arent getting any better.
Hopefully, my father, who barely speaks to or writes me, will have some decency and stay away from me today. He wrote me a very nasty email on the anniversary of my mom's death, and when I blasted him about it, lamely said he "Forgot" it was the anniversary of her death. I had no choice but to say I forgave him.
Let him celebrate this woman's, his wife's, mother's day.
On top of having a cruel streak, my father also isn't very emotionally intelligent.
He revels in people who treat his son terribly, and justifies them.
Not the heart and mind of a parent, money, or no money.
Happy Mother's Day to all the forum mothers, and for those members that are lucky enough to still have their mother with them.
Of course, this will be my fifth Mother's Day without my beloved mom.
I hope she is happy and joyous in Heaven, enjoying herself with my grandmother, and all of our other dearly departed relatives.
I'm the only person, I know, in my family, and of my friends.. in real life, who doesn't have their mother.
I will be spending Mother's Day with my aunt the artist.
My father, will be spending his day, as he always does, celebrating his wife's motherhood, without me.
It saddens, and angers me,
This woman, his wife, who has been nothing but uncivilized to me.
Who married him not caring that he and I were estranged.
And,.. who got her wish.. for me to lose Aflac.. before it even got started.
The week after I passed the insurance exam.. as all on here who know me are aware. I was.. euphoric. I had snapped out of my year long depression after my mom;s death, had passed a professional licensing exam, and was on my way to working at a major insurance company.
Instead of my father's wife doing the normal thing, and saying something.. civil.. after I worked so hard to pass the insurance exam, and had secured a position at a major company. something such as "Mitch, that's great you passed the exam, and got the job at Aflac, I hope it works out for you"
. this woman said the following to me.
"If Aflac doesn;t work, you;ll get a job".
Completely uncalled for,,. and cruel, considering, I didnt know what was going to happen at 'Aflac yet.
Knowing how I had suffered, watching my mom suffer and die, dealing with it all alone..
This woman was wishing my insurance career to fail before it even got started.
As we know, she got her wish.
When I tell my father how evil she was to say that, before I even knew what was going to happen at Aflac.. he had his usual justification for those who act cruel to me.
"She didnt mean anything by it, she just believes in jobs".
Such a cop out, and a continuation of how anything that any of his "chosen people" say that is just fine with him.
Yet, she is fine to celebrate Mother';s Day with her children and grandchildren, and my wonderful mother, who was a kind, generous, warm person, is gone.
This woman, my father';s wife, didn't even have the decency to send me, a civil e-mail, when I had my brush with death in December due to my seizures.
All this, and I can't find a position.. so I can be free of my father.
People wonder why I question "God".
In many ways, the past year and a half since I lost Aflac. has been worse than the year plus after my mom passed away.
After my mom passed away, I was doing nothing to help myself.
Now, I'm running on interviews every day.
To no avail.
Not even friends with connections in the insurance industry, can help me.
I told my aunt the artist tonight, that if things continue like this.. I hope one of my seizures kills me.
She gives me the whole. "You're so young, you can turn it around",.
Let;s go down the list of reasons for me to have hope.,
My wonderful mother. "Gone, suffered and died at a very young age".
My insurance career that I killed myself to have.. non existent, as no insurance company wants me.
My job search.. never ending, and seemingly, an effort in futility,.
My relationship with my father :Non existent. He is so.. foolish, that he sends me. quotes of what my uncle, and my father's wife, think of me, not using his brain to realize that these people want the worst for me, with my uncle who wished me to be on SSD for the rest of my life, and with my father's wife, who wished me to lose Aflac before it even got started.
I;m well aware that everything I have can all be taken away from me at one swoop.
Apartment, money, etc etc etc,.
I press on, and continue to try, but simply put.
I dont fear that.. nor do I fear something happening to me, the way I did to my mom.
"God helps those who help themselves"
Bullshit.
If that was true.. with the way I killed myself to pass that insurance exam, the law firm account that was waved in front of my face,., would have signed, with how hard we worked on it, for five months, and I would still be working at Aflac. Instead, the law firm didnt sign, and I was forced to resign from Aflac.
I would have a job, in entry level marketing, insurance, etc, with as much as I've ran around killing myself to find one since I left Aflac.
Just the other day, I went to a job interview, of a company I was forced to cancel with, when I had a seizure incident a couple of months ago.
It was at an outsourcing office I had been to before, for other companies.
The interviewer, a smug, nasty guy, said
"Havent I see you before?"
I was angered at his delivery, but kept my cool, saying.
"Yes, sir, I've been here for interviews, but not for this job".
He quickly said. "You're not right for this position", and dismissed me after one minute, after I had taken a two hour train ride round trip to meet with him.
The only person in my life now.. who could relate to my feelings when I was working at Aflac, was the Dean of my college, who I went to see just two years ago, while I was working at Aflac.
The Dean was concerned that I've been single for a long time, but she did say that I looked happy.
Mitch being happy means nothing.. because..
My father's wife is the one.. she got her wish for me to lose it all, before it even started.
Yet, God smiles on her, in spite of her evil, and my wonderful mother is in the grave,.
I will know there's a God when one of two things happens.
One. I'm rewarded for my diligent effort of job search, with a decent paying job, where I can begein to prosper, and feel better about myself.
Two, my father's miserable human being wife, is punished, for her evil wishes to me about losing Aflac, and things my father has said she has said about me, since I lost Aflac.
End of rant.
I guess,. the bottom line, is, I miss my mom terribly, and in spite of how hard I;m working, things arent getting any better.
Hopefully, my father, who barely speaks to or writes me, will have some decency and stay away from me today. He wrote me a very nasty email on the anniversary of my mom's death, and when I blasted him about it, lamely said he "Forgot" it was the anniversary of her death. I had no choice but to say I forgave him.
Let him celebrate this woman's, his wife's, mother's day.
On top of having a cruel streak, my father also isn't very emotionally intelligent.
He revels in people who treat his son terribly, and justifies them.
Not the heart and mind of a parent, money, or no money.
