I feel that it's only proper if I add a post about this day 8 years ago.
I was 13-14, going to school at Burger Middle School. I was in 7th grade and had just came up the stairs to sit in Math class. I hated Math then, just as much as I hate it now. We were going over some lecture that I think <i>might have been</i> about Pythagorean theorem. I remember there being triangles on the board, so it make sense. When we heard the announcement over the intercom from the principal, explaining that a plane had just hit one of the Twin Towers. It makes my stomach hurt just thinking back to that time, sitting in a class-room with no basic concept of anything other then what selfish things were happening within my life [[boys, makeup, whatever]] while people around me were dying.
The school library was closed down for the day and I remember walking to my next class and peeking in to see the Principal sitting on the table watching the TV. He looked so sad. I still didn't get it, I understood that it was a bad thing, but the true ramifications never really set with me at that time, I was just too young.
This post ties into my beginning experience with the on-line world. As I was a part of a chat client [[which I get into below]] and when 9/11 happened I remember many people being worried about my safety. They were aware I was in New York, but unsure of my exact location and at that time most assumed the worst.
There used to be a large chat client that I was a popular member of, yes I'll admit to being popular to this particular one. I was friends with a woman in her 30's named Becky [[ Rebecca ]]. I learned a lot about HTML that year as she and I would crash the chat-room and delete conversations and give ourselves infinite amounts of credits, which were used for participation within the chat boards. It was called <b>Absolute Chat</b>. It was an incredibly weakly designed website that constantly crashed and was incredibly easy to manipulate by messing with the server URL's. I was a n00b to the internet world and even I figured out ways around it. The website crashed regularly and was dubbed Abshit or AbCrap. I had a lot of fantastic memories within those walls.
Of course I lied about my age. I took the handle of <i>Flirt19</i> and managed to make a lot of friends. One of them was the aforementioned Becky who went by the name Becka and another was a 20 something man named Mikey, he went by the handle KrAzIeMiKeUs. His father and mother were also members of the website [[it was non-kink related]] and were divorced. Needless to say it made for an amusing time when they both were in the room at the same time.
I was a regular MSN chat user and also learned a lot about cybering within this time. Yes, Mike was the object of my affection and we interacted in a rather stimulating "teaching" session for the next handful of years. Cellphones were still coming into shape within my world and at the time my girlfriend had a pay to use phone, so I learned a lot about phone cards as well as long distance calling cards. -- I would scavenge money away and walk up the street to 7-11 just to buy a pay card so I could call him. He lived in Canada. Saskatchewan to be exact.
Abchat had a sister site called <b><a href="http://www.vip.ie/">The Virtual Irish Pub.</b></a> It has since had a huge face-life, but back then it was as basic but with a bit more stability then abchat [[read: couldn't hack credits.]] We would all shift to that website whenever Abchat would crash, which it would. For days and days at a time. It was heavily influenced by those from Ireland and other areas about the way, hence the name. I never liked the website very much, but it was used only when necessary.
Just last year actually I had recieved an e-mail from the creators of absolutechat [[I never realized how long I've had the email I have]]. Within it they identified that I used to be a regular and showed me the updated VIP website and encouraged me to join. So I did. I managed to re-connect with quite a few people I used to chat with and was entirely too amused at the fact that I now had reached the age that I had made them believe I was so many years ago.
I found my profile: <b><a href="http://www.vip.ie/profile/Jo">Click here for it.</b></a>
Obviously years of this had made me feel guilty that I had lied to Becka. We had been incredibly close and she was one of the many people that made me believe that it *is* possible to have friends on-line. So, I sought her out and spilled my guts. I figured she'd be angry and rightfully so, but she was incredibly forgiving of it and we even chatted at length for awhile, but time had done it's thing and we both were in different places. I wasn't the same person I was at 13 and I had a marriage and a baby to try and keep track of, so we drifted. But I still feel peace in knowing that I was able to regurgitate that secret I had held for so long.
There's another use there that had a huge influence on my desire to want to continue working on HTML and computer graphics; her name was DreamWeaver. She was as hippie-esque as her name implies and was one of the nicest people I've ever talked to in my life. The woman was also incredibly talented with avatar creation and design. She made me many, many "Flirt19" avatars, all of which featured scantily clad or full nude females. Some pulled from the latest Victoria Secret ad's or some [[of which I preferred]] were the classic pin-up girls. My fascination with that form of style [pin-up] was more or less created within this time. I also chatted with her briefly when I rejoined years later and she was as sweet as she was 7 years before.
Two other "characters" stick out in my mind as well: Sabrina and KidLethal. -- Becka actually ended up dating KidLethal for quite some time and Sabrina was always this feisty character who I was friendly, but not very close to. She and I had Mikeus as our connection, but we chatted on the side regularly. -- KidLethal (real name; bobby) had a lot of head issues, anger and what not from what I remember. Him and Becka parted ways and he and sabrina began talking. Becka didn't like this at first, but accepted it later on. Sabs and Lethal actually ended up meeting up and moving in some time down the road. That gave me a solid impression that also on-line relationships were POSSIBLE. I'm not sure if they are still together, I didn't really chat much with any of them when I re-joined and I don't even think Bobby had joined yet. I know Sabrina was there because we shared a few posts on each others pages, but that's all I can remember without actually digging for it.
The whole thing at the time was very real and at times very intense. I regularly voice chatted with Becka on MSN and talked with Mike on the phone. We were all very close for so long. But I don't feel sad that I no longer speak nor keep in touch with any of them. I had/have Becka on my Myspace for quite some time, I think I deleted her, and I see her page pop up on my Facebook underneath the "recommended to friend" area, but I just look at it and smile back at the times I had when I was 13-. I'm in a much different place now and sincerely believe in this case that some things are just better left as memories, and I had a lot of memories within both of those websites. It basically created my interest in the dynamic that does happen within on-line communities. Which is perhaps why I feel as connected to the TMF as I do now. I've managed almost the exact same scenario, minus the lying and minus the inability to actually meet these people. [[ I was 13 and my parents were not about to put me on a plane or bus to see someone they deemed a random stranger.]] The only difference is that the people I have met and are still meeting within the TMF are people that I plan to have within my life forever and not just for a couple years. There are no lies, no elaborations and no miscalls. They are who they are just as much as I am who I am.
Abchat has since died. I'm not sure of it's exact time of death, but I remember seeking it out to see how it managed to change back in '07-'08 and saw it was replaced with a foreign website which directs you to some Google search page. I went a step further and sought out the Way Back Machine and managed to pull a screen shot of the log-in page of the chat site.
<b><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19981212022445/http://www.absolutechat.com/">1998 Archived Page.</b></a>
<b><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20010923062218/http://absolutechat.com/">2001 Archived Page.</b></a>
Ah. It says it officially died on January 13th, 2005. And was replaced with a foreign chat area in March of '05.
Anyways. Reading back on it now, it almost looks like some kind of twisted story, but it was my reality. I lived it. 2001 was the year I got my first desktop computer ever and was thrilled that I could open more then one page at a time. Before that time we had a small computer that you lined a little keyboard up to the sensor and you could be on one web-page at a time. I believe it was a MSN style computer, but I can't remember without going down to the basement to look.
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'till later,
- Jo
I was 13-14, going to school at Burger Middle School. I was in 7th grade and had just came up the stairs to sit in Math class. I hated Math then, just as much as I hate it now. We were going over some lecture that I think <i>might have been</i> about Pythagorean theorem. I remember there being triangles on the board, so it make sense. When we heard the announcement over the intercom from the principal, explaining that a plane had just hit one of the Twin Towers. It makes my stomach hurt just thinking back to that time, sitting in a class-room with no basic concept of anything other then what selfish things were happening within my life [[boys, makeup, whatever]] while people around me were dying.
The school library was closed down for the day and I remember walking to my next class and peeking in to see the Principal sitting on the table watching the TV. He looked so sad. I still didn't get it, I understood that it was a bad thing, but the true ramifications never really set with me at that time, I was just too young.
This post ties into my beginning experience with the on-line world. As I was a part of a chat client [[which I get into below]] and when 9/11 happened I remember many people being worried about my safety. They were aware I was in New York, but unsure of my exact location and at that time most assumed the worst.
There used to be a large chat client that I was a popular member of, yes I'll admit to being popular to this particular one. I was friends with a woman in her 30's named Becky [[ Rebecca ]]. I learned a lot about HTML that year as she and I would crash the chat-room and delete conversations and give ourselves infinite amounts of credits, which were used for participation within the chat boards. It was called <b>Absolute Chat</b>. It was an incredibly weakly designed website that constantly crashed and was incredibly easy to manipulate by messing with the server URL's. I was a n00b to the internet world and even I figured out ways around it. The website crashed regularly and was dubbed Abshit or AbCrap. I had a lot of fantastic memories within those walls.
Of course I lied about my age. I took the handle of <i>Flirt19</i> and managed to make a lot of friends. One of them was the aforementioned Becky who went by the name Becka and another was a 20 something man named Mikey, he went by the handle KrAzIeMiKeUs. His father and mother were also members of the website [[it was non-kink related]] and were divorced. Needless to say it made for an amusing time when they both were in the room at the same time.
I was a regular MSN chat user and also learned a lot about cybering within this time. Yes, Mike was the object of my affection and we interacted in a rather stimulating "teaching" session for the next handful of years. Cellphones were still coming into shape within my world and at the time my girlfriend had a pay to use phone, so I learned a lot about phone cards as well as long distance calling cards. -- I would scavenge money away and walk up the street to 7-11 just to buy a pay card so I could call him. He lived in Canada. Saskatchewan to be exact.
Abchat had a sister site called <b><a href="http://www.vip.ie/">The Virtual Irish Pub.</b></a> It has since had a huge face-life, but back then it was as basic but with a bit more stability then abchat [[read: couldn't hack credits.]] We would all shift to that website whenever Abchat would crash, which it would. For days and days at a time. It was heavily influenced by those from Ireland and other areas about the way, hence the name. I never liked the website very much, but it was used only when necessary.
Just last year actually I had recieved an e-mail from the creators of absolutechat [[I never realized how long I've had the email I have]]. Within it they identified that I used to be a regular and showed me the updated VIP website and encouraged me to join. So I did. I managed to re-connect with quite a few people I used to chat with and was entirely too amused at the fact that I now had reached the age that I had made them believe I was so many years ago.
I found my profile: <b><a href="http://www.vip.ie/profile/Jo">Click here for it.</b></a>
Obviously years of this had made me feel guilty that I had lied to Becka. We had been incredibly close and she was one of the many people that made me believe that it *is* possible to have friends on-line. So, I sought her out and spilled my guts. I figured she'd be angry and rightfully so, but she was incredibly forgiving of it and we even chatted at length for awhile, but time had done it's thing and we both were in different places. I wasn't the same person I was at 13 and I had a marriage and a baby to try and keep track of, so we drifted. But I still feel peace in knowing that I was able to regurgitate that secret I had held for so long.
There's another use there that had a huge influence on my desire to want to continue working on HTML and computer graphics; her name was DreamWeaver. She was as hippie-esque as her name implies and was one of the nicest people I've ever talked to in my life. The woman was also incredibly talented with avatar creation and design. She made me many, many "Flirt19" avatars, all of which featured scantily clad or full nude females. Some pulled from the latest Victoria Secret ad's or some [[of which I preferred]] were the classic pin-up girls. My fascination with that form of style [pin-up] was more or less created within this time. I also chatted with her briefly when I rejoined years later and she was as sweet as she was 7 years before.
Two other "characters" stick out in my mind as well: Sabrina and KidLethal. -- Becka actually ended up dating KidLethal for quite some time and Sabrina was always this feisty character who I was friendly, but not very close to. She and I had Mikeus as our connection, but we chatted on the side regularly. -- KidLethal (real name; bobby) had a lot of head issues, anger and what not from what I remember. Him and Becka parted ways and he and sabrina began talking. Becka didn't like this at first, but accepted it later on. Sabs and Lethal actually ended up meeting up and moving in some time down the road. That gave me a solid impression that also on-line relationships were POSSIBLE. I'm not sure if they are still together, I didn't really chat much with any of them when I re-joined and I don't even think Bobby had joined yet. I know Sabrina was there because we shared a few posts on each others pages, but that's all I can remember without actually digging for it.
The whole thing at the time was very real and at times very intense. I regularly voice chatted with Becka on MSN and talked with Mike on the phone. We were all very close for so long. But I don't feel sad that I no longer speak nor keep in touch with any of them. I had/have Becka on my Myspace for quite some time, I think I deleted her, and I see her page pop up on my Facebook underneath the "recommended to friend" area, but I just look at it and smile back at the times I had when I was 13-. I'm in a much different place now and sincerely believe in this case that some things are just better left as memories, and I had a lot of memories within both of those websites. It basically created my interest in the dynamic that does happen within on-line communities. Which is perhaps why I feel as connected to the TMF as I do now. I've managed almost the exact same scenario, minus the lying and minus the inability to actually meet these people. [[ I was 13 and my parents were not about to put me on a plane or bus to see someone they deemed a random stranger.]] The only difference is that the people I have met and are still meeting within the TMF are people that I plan to have within my life forever and not just for a couple years. There are no lies, no elaborations and no miscalls. They are who they are just as much as I am who I am.
Abchat has since died. I'm not sure of it's exact time of death, but I remember seeking it out to see how it managed to change back in '07-'08 and saw it was replaced with a foreign website which directs you to some Google search page. I went a step further and sought out the Way Back Machine and managed to pull a screen shot of the log-in page of the chat site.
<b><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19981212022445/http://www.absolutechat.com/">1998 Archived Page.</b></a>
<b><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20010923062218/http://absolutechat.com/">2001 Archived Page.</b></a>
Ah. It says it officially died on January 13th, 2005. And was replaced with a foreign chat area in March of '05.
Anyways. Reading back on it now, it almost looks like some kind of twisted story, but it was my reality. I lived it. 2001 was the year I got my first desktop computer ever and was thrilled that I could open more then one page at a time. Before that time we had a small computer that you lined a little keyboard up to the sensor and you could be on one web-page at a time. I believe it was a MSN style computer, but I can't remember without going down to the basement to look.
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'till later,
- Jo
