Also best posted on the blog..
This happened on Saturday.. and even though I didnt post it at first, I figured, might as well jump off the cliff, so to speak.
I went into the city on Saturday, first to meet my friend Adam for lunch, and then to see my dad, Cheryl, and my father';s friend Les for dinner. I had a great day until my exchange with my dad about the casino, and he told me that when I walked into his apartment, I looked better than I had at any time since my mom died.
A happy day like that should have caused me to want to build on it. I walked on Fifth Avenue, saw tons of hot girls, lots of nice female feet, the whole nine yards.
When I got home Saturday night, instead of feeling great, what did I do? I cried hysterically. I started thinking about my mom, how she suffered, and how it isnt fair that I'm having fun, she's dead, and she's not here to see it.
If she could still talk to me, she would have been pissed at this development. She would have wanted me to be over it, long ago.
I;m better, but not anywhere near over it. There are those who think I never will completely get over it, and will just eventually come to realize that my mom's passing was the worst thing that ever happened to me,. I have to accept it, go on with my life, which I have tried to do, and realize that I am entitled to good times, even if I still mourn my mom, and feel sad and empty that shes not here with me anymore.
This happened on Saturday.. and even though I didnt post it at first, I figured, might as well jump off the cliff, so to speak.
I went into the city on Saturday, first to meet my friend Adam for lunch, and then to see my dad, Cheryl, and my father';s friend Les for dinner. I had a great day until my exchange with my dad about the casino, and he told me that when I walked into his apartment, I looked better than I had at any time since my mom died.
A happy day like that should have caused me to want to build on it. I walked on Fifth Avenue, saw tons of hot girls, lots of nice female feet, the whole nine yards.
When I got home Saturday night, instead of feeling great, what did I do? I cried hysterically. I started thinking about my mom, how she suffered, and how it isnt fair that I'm having fun, she's dead, and she's not here to see it.
If she could still talk to me, she would have been pissed at this development. She would have wanted me to be over it, long ago.
I;m better, but not anywhere near over it. There are those who think I never will completely get over it, and will just eventually come to realize that my mom's passing was the worst thing that ever happened to me,. I have to accept it, go on with my life, which I have tried to do, and realize that I am entitled to good times, even if I still mourn my mom, and feel sad and empty that shes not here with me anymore.
