Hopefully is this is here, it wont generate some of the vicious feedback that some of my posts in the main forum have.
What people don't realize, and yesterday proved it.. I am completely alone.
Let's forget "money".
I don't know what the reason is why my father pays my rent. My guess is two fold. One, he likes having power and control over me, and two, he's afraid of what I will say to others about what he did to me, if I was homeless.
Except for his commitment to pay my rent.. I don't bother this man on a day to day basis. He sees me, one or two hours a month, and has spent the 18 months that I've been in NY, traveling to Europe, the islands, Vegas, and now will be going to Florida for the winter. He checks in with me for one minute a day.
Yesterday, I just needed a parent's shoulder to cry on.. after a heartbreaking event, following how hard I worked. It wouldn't have mattered if I had gotten a"Job" in two weeks from now. I have my own money to pay my day to day expenses. He just had to kick me when I was down. He was positively vicious about it. When he doesn't want to discuss something, he doesn't discuss it, but when I told him to please drop it, he had to press on, when I felt so badly, causing me to walk out on him. If I was less rational, and he was worth the penalty, I would have socked the SOB.
My aunts: Troubled, poor women, yes.. but..
They love to lament to me about their terrible lives. Last night, when I called to tell them how horribly he treated me, they brushed it off, saying "That's how he;s always been.. A leopard never changes it's spots". Real feeling behavior on their parts.
My two best friends, Barney and Adam, are about the most supportive people I have in my life. They were both outraged by my relatives behavior yesterday.
Had my mom still been alive.. she would have been devastated for me, that I didn't achieve my goal, after how hard I worked. There is no way she would have brushed off my other relatives behavior, or torn into me, when I felt so crushed.
When I won the money on Friday I sent money to both my aunts.. as I always do when I have a financial advantage, either a sale, or a win. That's the kind of person I am. I always listen to their troubles, with their domestic partners, and aliments.
I truly am all alone, emotionally.
Most sad when your business associate/trainer, acts more human then any of the relatives who are supposed to love you unconditionally.
My father is supposed to go to Florida for the greater part of 3 months, after he gets back from his latest island vacation. He had originally invited me to visit him, but, after yesterday, I';m not going. I don't honestly think its a good idea for me to spend that kind of time with him, after his behavior to me following this latest terrible disappointment. He hasn't spent my birthday with me since I was 18 years old, and I was talking to him several of those years. He can say "Happy Birthday" on the phone. It doesn't matter, as long as I continue to kiss his ass for his favorite day, "Father's Day", and his birthday, the way I have the past two years, as well as several others in the years I was talking to him in the 1990s and 2000s.
I want to be free of my father. ASAP. A minimum wage "Job" at my age, with no time for advancement, and no future.. will not accomplish this. I can only imagine what I will feel like if I had to have that, and deal with him too.
I was ignored about the product business I want to do, by the powerful marketing source I approached. My father has done nothing to help me with it.
For those who rip me that I like to "Live off my father", not only is that vicious and mean sprited, it is also a joke.
What I want, is to pass my insurance exam, and make as much money as an agent, ASAP., so I can pay him back everything he;s laid out, pay my own way, and then sit down with him, and ask him why we should even be together. I was out of his life for 20 years. He sees me.. a couple of hours a month, and talks to me, ten minutes a week, literally. What difference is that between that kind of "Relationship", and "Estrangement".
No matter how diplomatic I am with him, I cant win.
I hope to be able to reschedule the exam today, and take it ASAP. As for my father.. I just want to avoid him.
I'll see my two best friends, both before New Years, and on New Years. Besides that, all that matters is I work on scheduling and passing my exam, and chasing my own dreams, in spite of my family.
What people don't realize, and yesterday proved it.. I am completely alone.
Let's forget "money".
I don't know what the reason is why my father pays my rent. My guess is two fold. One, he likes having power and control over me, and two, he's afraid of what I will say to others about what he did to me, if I was homeless.
Except for his commitment to pay my rent.. I don't bother this man on a day to day basis. He sees me, one or two hours a month, and has spent the 18 months that I've been in NY, traveling to Europe, the islands, Vegas, and now will be going to Florida for the winter. He checks in with me for one minute a day.
Yesterday, I just needed a parent's shoulder to cry on.. after a heartbreaking event, following how hard I worked. It wouldn't have mattered if I had gotten a"Job" in two weeks from now. I have my own money to pay my day to day expenses. He just had to kick me when I was down. He was positively vicious about it. When he doesn't want to discuss something, he doesn't discuss it, but when I told him to please drop it, he had to press on, when I felt so badly, causing me to walk out on him. If I was less rational, and he was worth the penalty, I would have socked the SOB.
My aunts: Troubled, poor women, yes.. but..
They love to lament to me about their terrible lives. Last night, when I called to tell them how horribly he treated me, they brushed it off, saying "That's how he;s always been.. A leopard never changes it's spots". Real feeling behavior on their parts.
My two best friends, Barney and Adam, are about the most supportive people I have in my life. They were both outraged by my relatives behavior yesterday.
Had my mom still been alive.. she would have been devastated for me, that I didn't achieve my goal, after how hard I worked. There is no way she would have brushed off my other relatives behavior, or torn into me, when I felt so crushed.
When I won the money on Friday I sent money to both my aunts.. as I always do when I have a financial advantage, either a sale, or a win. That's the kind of person I am. I always listen to their troubles, with their domestic partners, and aliments.
I truly am all alone, emotionally.
Most sad when your business associate/trainer, acts more human then any of the relatives who are supposed to love you unconditionally.
My father is supposed to go to Florida for the greater part of 3 months, after he gets back from his latest island vacation. He had originally invited me to visit him, but, after yesterday, I';m not going. I don't honestly think its a good idea for me to spend that kind of time with him, after his behavior to me following this latest terrible disappointment. He hasn't spent my birthday with me since I was 18 years old, and I was talking to him several of those years. He can say "Happy Birthday" on the phone. It doesn't matter, as long as I continue to kiss his ass for his favorite day, "Father's Day", and his birthday, the way I have the past two years, as well as several others in the years I was talking to him in the 1990s and 2000s.
I want to be free of my father. ASAP. A minimum wage "Job" at my age, with no time for advancement, and no future.. will not accomplish this. I can only imagine what I will feel like if I had to have that, and deal with him too.
I was ignored about the product business I want to do, by the powerful marketing source I approached. My father has done nothing to help me with it.
For those who rip me that I like to "Live off my father", not only is that vicious and mean sprited, it is also a joke.
What I want, is to pass my insurance exam, and make as much money as an agent, ASAP., so I can pay him back everything he;s laid out, pay my own way, and then sit down with him, and ask him why we should even be together. I was out of his life for 20 years. He sees me.. a couple of hours a month, and talks to me, ten minutes a week, literally. What difference is that between that kind of "Relationship", and "Estrangement".
No matter how diplomatic I am with him, I cant win.
I hope to be able to reschedule the exam today, and take it ASAP. As for my father.. I just want to avoid him.
I'll see my two best friends, both before New Years, and on New Years. Besides that, all that matters is I work on scheduling and passing my exam, and chasing my own dreams, in spite of my family.
