In recent months a lot has happened I haven't spoken about. I've been through a lot. Not all necessarily bad just what I would call changes and having to press pause on a lot of things.
One of the things I've had to do was deactivate my Instagram, Fetlife (which for some reason is still up? Just saw that lol. Gotta fix it later.) And even my private Facebook. I've been struggling a lot with continuing to be a part of social media. For many reasons I could go into but I think anyone would agree that being on social media can be a mixed bag of emotions and very skewed reality. And as someone who has become over the years somewhat of a public figure in this Community- At this point after a few trolling experiences on Insta and Wakie, a couple Sessions that took place and my experiences with that and online interactions plus some things in my private life has all combined for me to just stay away from it. And who knows I may go back one day but... Idk for the time being I don't want to face the public on a larger scale anymore. It has become very stressful rather than fun. Charging I know has a lot to do with that. But I'll never apologize for that. I worked hard to please people in the various ways that I have. And so much of my work and time has been given for free. There was less stress back when I was sharing myself for free for sure. But even then it became stressful in it's own way because so many wanted my time for various things and projects/ commissions-or just to talk- I felt I had no choice but to charge.
Also I've continued to be a part of the Community in various ways by ideas, Sessions, phone play via Niteflirt and posting pics etc. But not only do I feel I have nothing left to give. I can't think say of a story to save my life. And that bothers me because I use to enjoy writing so much. But like any band they do a number of albums and call it quits eventually. End up with a "greatest hits" album. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've taken a look back at so many things I've made and am pretty proud of where my mind took me and the journey overall to contribute and grow and get to know who I am and what I enjoy. That's what my journey was about to begin with. To find myself. And I've done that. And bonus found my partner who I'm meant to share this with. I love this man very, very much and I think it's time to stop trying to please everyone and just focus on him. We already don't get to spend much time together since he has 2 jobs.
One thing I'm going to change is my look. I'm 45 now and want to make appropriate changes to who I am NOW. I enjoyed so many various looks over the years especially my Bimbofication/ Barbie look! But not only did that fry my hair, when my relationship with my ex ended I gained so much weight. It's time to play catch up in a sense. I'm letting my hair grow out to its natural color and am going back to putting the time into exercise because that was so great for me both on the outside and in.
I've said for some time I wanted to write a book about the Community. And I have every intention to. But either I will or I won't. I can't stress out about it any longer. Or other things like videos that I just haven't been able to do. Whether things fell through or they just couldn't in the end happen. I'm tired of being stressed out. So I'm now just going to sit back and let life happen more naturally. Even a podcast became daunting in the sense that I would have to come up with a show and entertain people at least once a week. I don't have it within me to do that like I thought I did. Maybe someday. Who knows. Videos- who knows. But it's a wrap on everything for now.
I'll still from time to time come into the chat rooms. I still enjoy that to a degree. And if I have something to post I will. But until then I'm going to put my feet up and just relax from it all.
So many of you have come to me for advice. Or I made your day and made you smile and laugh in some way. I'm grateful for that. I just need some time to further myself in different ways, And not feel I NEED to make something in order to keep everyone happy. Or money. I can get a job doing something else. I started this for myself... and I need to go back to that way of life. And whether I someday want to charge for Sessions or Commissions/ phone/ audios will be a choice I make at some point down the line. I just want some time for myself to really focus on the things that will help me move forward in a way that is good for me and safe above all.
Thanks for reading and taking the time to follow my activities throughout the years. It really was great fun and a cool adventure into my favorite passion. But it's just time to say see you later for now.
Take care, many tickles and love,
Doll
P.S I included a pic from a True Crime museum I ventured to last week. Thought you'd get a kick out of it. And I'm sure you notice the demarcation line in my hair. Yup! I'm salt and papper now. And I'm going to own it. Full speed ahead! (Can you believe in will take me 2-3 years for my hair to grow out it's natural color to the length I want. Crikey!)
P.P.S For those of you who tried to write me and couldn't- for some reason my profile was set to ignore mail. Idk why but I fixed it so you can still write me it just may be a minute before I get back to you.
muah
<3
One of the things I've had to do was deactivate my Instagram, Fetlife (which for some reason is still up? Just saw that lol. Gotta fix it later.) And even my private Facebook. I've been struggling a lot with continuing to be a part of social media. For many reasons I could go into but I think anyone would agree that being on social media can be a mixed bag of emotions and very skewed reality. And as someone who has become over the years somewhat of a public figure in this Community- At this point after a few trolling experiences on Insta and Wakie, a couple Sessions that took place and my experiences with that and online interactions plus some things in my private life has all combined for me to just stay away from it. And who knows I may go back one day but... Idk for the time being I don't want to face the public on a larger scale anymore. It has become very stressful rather than fun. Charging I know has a lot to do with that. But I'll never apologize for that. I worked hard to please people in the various ways that I have. And so much of my work and time has been given for free. There was less stress back when I was sharing myself for free for sure. But even then it became stressful in it's own way because so many wanted my time for various things and projects/ commissions-or just to talk- I felt I had no choice but to charge.
Also I've continued to be a part of the Community in various ways by ideas, Sessions, phone play via Niteflirt and posting pics etc. But not only do I feel I have nothing left to give. I can't think say of a story to save my life. And that bothers me because I use to enjoy writing so much. But like any band they do a number of albums and call it quits eventually. End up with a "greatest hits" album. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've taken a look back at so many things I've made and am pretty proud of where my mind took me and the journey overall to contribute and grow and get to know who I am and what I enjoy. That's what my journey was about to begin with. To find myself. And I've done that. And bonus found my partner who I'm meant to share this with. I love this man very, very much and I think it's time to stop trying to please everyone and just focus on him. We already don't get to spend much time together since he has 2 jobs.
One thing I'm going to change is my look. I'm 45 now and want to make appropriate changes to who I am NOW. I enjoyed so many various looks over the years especially my Bimbofication/ Barbie look! But not only did that fry my hair, when my relationship with my ex ended I gained so much weight. It's time to play catch up in a sense. I'm letting my hair grow out to its natural color and am going back to putting the time into exercise because that was so great for me both on the outside and in.
I've said for some time I wanted to write a book about the Community. And I have every intention to. But either I will or I won't. I can't stress out about it any longer. Or other things like videos that I just haven't been able to do. Whether things fell through or they just couldn't in the end happen. I'm tired of being stressed out. So I'm now just going to sit back and let life happen more naturally. Even a podcast became daunting in the sense that I would have to come up with a show and entertain people at least once a week. I don't have it within me to do that like I thought I did. Maybe someday. Who knows. Videos- who knows. But it's a wrap on everything for now.
I'll still from time to time come into the chat rooms. I still enjoy that to a degree. And if I have something to post I will. But until then I'm going to put my feet up and just relax from it all.
So many of you have come to me for advice. Or I made your day and made you smile and laugh in some way. I'm grateful for that. I just need some time to further myself in different ways, And not feel I NEED to make something in order to keep everyone happy. Or money. I can get a job doing something else. I started this for myself... and I need to go back to that way of life. And whether I someday want to charge for Sessions or Commissions/ phone/ audios will be a choice I make at some point down the line. I just want some time for myself to really focus on the things that will help me move forward in a way that is good for me and safe above all.
Thanks for reading and taking the time to follow my activities throughout the years. It really was great fun and a cool adventure into my favorite passion. But it's just time to say see you later for now.
Take care, many tickles and love,
Doll
P.S I included a pic from a True Crime museum I ventured to last week. Thought you'd get a kick out of it. And I'm sure you notice the demarcation line in my hair. Yup! I'm salt and papper now. And I'm going to own it. Full speed ahead! (Can you believe in will take me 2-3 years for my hair to grow out it's natural color to the length I want. Crikey!)
P.P.S For those of you who tried to write me and couldn't- for some reason my profile was set to ignore mail. Idk why but I fixed it so you can still write me it just may be a minute before I get back to you.
muah
<3
