Since her diagnosis, my mom has had spells where she has been very angry, which I know is normal. She is angry at fate, and why this is happening to her, but she is also angry at the courts, and at my father, for the injustice she received from them.
As I posted in an earlier blog, my father has used terror tactics to keep my mom out of court for 18 years, refusing to ever come to an out of court settlement to modify her alimony, which is the same as it was 18 years ago (Pitance, and less, because part of the alimony was from an investment that dried up years ago). She lives in a $900 a month apartment, with no medical insurance, and constant threats from him about her alimony, as he and his second wife live in a $5000-6000 a month NYC apartment, with all the best things. She has been afraid to go to court up until now, because he has been blackmailing her that he will not pay at all, if she files. Now, she seems resolved, and isn't afraid anymore. My mom finally wants justice served on my father, for his actions.
On the other hand, I'm trying to deal with this horrible time through peace, and love, and prayer. The only thing I'm focused on is mom, how she feels, her treatment, helping her beat this diagnosis, and keeping her healthy and with me for a long time. As much as I despise my father for his ongoing actions, I'm trying not to obsess over him the way I used to. I pray, out loud, several times a day, going with the feeling that if God hears and answers my prayers, and helps my mom beat this, and she is still with me, we can face anything together. I know that the "Why Me?" anger, and unfinished business is common for cancer patients, but, I will admit that I've spent a lot of time over the past 20 years wishing that my father would learn lessons for his crimes against my mom and me, and so far he hasn't. All he seems to do is to become more and more vicious. I'm hopeful of two things. First, that mom's treatment is successful, and that please God she's with me for a long time, and two, that my mom can finally get a court, to serve my father with penalties for his crimes, and his blackmail of keeping her out of court. If those things can happen, I'll feel blessed. Mom getting well is most important, but, if going after justice means so much to her, I have to support her with that as well.
I'll continue with my path of peace and prayer, and if my mom wants to persue her path for justice against my father, more power to her, and I will be right there to support her when she does. As I've said many times before, I'm here for her, 100% of the way, always.
Mitch
As I posted in an earlier blog, my father has used terror tactics to keep my mom out of court for 18 years, refusing to ever come to an out of court settlement to modify her alimony, which is the same as it was 18 years ago (Pitance, and less, because part of the alimony was from an investment that dried up years ago). She lives in a $900 a month apartment, with no medical insurance, and constant threats from him about her alimony, as he and his second wife live in a $5000-6000 a month NYC apartment, with all the best things. She has been afraid to go to court up until now, because he has been blackmailing her that he will not pay at all, if she files. Now, she seems resolved, and isn't afraid anymore. My mom finally wants justice served on my father, for his actions.
On the other hand, I'm trying to deal with this horrible time through peace, and love, and prayer. The only thing I'm focused on is mom, how she feels, her treatment, helping her beat this diagnosis, and keeping her healthy and with me for a long time. As much as I despise my father for his ongoing actions, I'm trying not to obsess over him the way I used to. I pray, out loud, several times a day, going with the feeling that if God hears and answers my prayers, and helps my mom beat this, and she is still with me, we can face anything together. I know that the "Why Me?" anger, and unfinished business is common for cancer patients, but, I will admit that I've spent a lot of time over the past 20 years wishing that my father would learn lessons for his crimes against my mom and me, and so far he hasn't. All he seems to do is to become more and more vicious. I'm hopeful of two things. First, that mom's treatment is successful, and that please God she's with me for a long time, and two, that my mom can finally get a court, to serve my father with penalties for his crimes, and his blackmail of keeping her out of court. If those things can happen, I'll feel blessed. Mom getting well is most important, but, if going after justice means so much to her, I have to support her with that as well.
I'll continue with my path of peace and prayer, and if my mom wants to persue her path for justice against my father, more power to her, and I will be right there to support her when she does. As I've said many times before, I'm here for her, 100% of the way, always.
Mitch
