Today at the gym I had an unexpected encounter. I ran into one of the girls I went to high school (and junior high. And grade school) with. She was just going into group exercise class; I was just leaving, but we chatted for a bit. It turns out she's living about a 25 minute walk from my apartment and has been in Toronto for about 9 years. Blah blah blah.
I thought back to our acquaintance from years ago. Back in the 7th grade, she admitted to having more than a little crush on me. Now, that's all well and good, but we also ran with very different crowds. She was one of the in-crowd, ultra popular, drama is everything set. I ran alone, wanted to run alone and was damn proud of it. Obviously, a romantic relationship was out of the question, at least from my perspective. I turned her down and that was the end of it.
I was talking about this today with another friend (a girl) and when I told her this story, she said I was a jerk.
Aside from the fact that this was back in junior high, where every decision you make about your romantic life is obviously going to impact you every day for the rest of your life. Aside from the fact that her current boyfriend was standing right next to her when we met at the gym, why would telling a girl you're not interested automatically assign you the label of horrid, cold-hearted jackass for the rest of your life?
I've seen more than one example of guys who were labelled jerks because they turned down the advances of a girl. It's unreasonable for a guy to get into a relationship with every girl who bats her eyes at him, so why the animosity?
I'm well aware of the emotional differences between men and women, especially when it comes to romance. Maybe I'm just frustrated with the expectations of Prince Charming or Romeo Montague or Edward F$%&#ing Cullen. I know I'm looking at this from the cold, vile logical man-mind I'm stuck with and not the warm, fuzzy female point of view, but I try very hard to be a reasonable person. It pisses me off when I get made into the bad guy for doing the right thing.
One other thing my friend said was "the first cut is the deepest". If that was true, I would have given up completely on romance years ago. And shite like this doesn't encourage me to make a comeback.
I thought back to our acquaintance from years ago. Back in the 7th grade, she admitted to having more than a little crush on me. Now, that's all well and good, but we also ran with very different crowds. She was one of the in-crowd, ultra popular, drama is everything set. I ran alone, wanted to run alone and was damn proud of it. Obviously, a romantic relationship was out of the question, at least from my perspective. I turned her down and that was the end of it.
I was talking about this today with another friend (a girl) and when I told her this story, she said I was a jerk.
Aside from the fact that this was back in junior high, where every decision you make about your romantic life is obviously going to impact you every day for the rest of your life. Aside from the fact that her current boyfriend was standing right next to her when we met at the gym, why would telling a girl you're not interested automatically assign you the label of horrid, cold-hearted jackass for the rest of your life?
I've seen more than one example of guys who were labelled jerks because they turned down the advances of a girl. It's unreasonable for a guy to get into a relationship with every girl who bats her eyes at him, so why the animosity?
I'm well aware of the emotional differences between men and women, especially when it comes to romance. Maybe I'm just frustrated with the expectations of Prince Charming or Romeo Montague or Edward F$%&#ing Cullen. I know I'm looking at this from the cold, vile logical man-mind I'm stuck with and not the warm, fuzzy female point of view, but I try very hard to be a reasonable person. It pisses me off when I get made into the bad guy for doing the right thing.
One other thing my friend said was "the first cut is the deepest". If that was true, I would have given up completely on romance years ago. And shite like this doesn't encourage me to make a comeback.
