Tonight, I had to euthanize my beloved cat, Jasmine. She was my constant companion, a bundle of joyful fur that would meet me at the stairs when I got home from work. She succumbed to cancer of the intestine. Which is ironic. Because I'm having intestinal issues of my own. As I watched her withering down to next to nothing, I was amazed that she still had strength left. I mean, I knew she was losing the fight. But as a creature of habit, she followed me around, sleeping next to me each night, purring, all her usual behavior. I so wish I could emulate her.
This week, I've had the joy of having a colonoscopy and a double contrast CT (it was supposed to be a triple contrast but I got lucky...don't ask). The colonoscopy didn't go as planned - the doctor couldn't complete it because even with sedation, I was in too much pain. He couldn't change gears and use another anesthetic (the one he wanted to use I'm allergic to). I was at the ER the week before and he almost sent me back because the pain during recovery was so intense. So at any rate, he settled for the CT scan. I have been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and diverticulitis based on the part of my colon that he could visualize during the scoping. I'm on antibiotics and such for now until the biopsies and scan results come back.
Tonight, I was just looking at my cat, imagining that she must be feeling a bit like me - miserable or at the least, unpleasantly uncomfortable. I just couldn't see hanging on any longer. She started doing these cries yesterday, the kind that are more like little pitiful pleas. I couldn't bare to hear that soul wrenching sound another day. And so, I called one of my techs (she lost her own cat to this same cancer about a year ago - her cat was related to mine). She met me at the clinic. I placed a catheter in her leg, but when it came time, I found I couldn't push the fatal overdose. I have never performed a euthanasia on my own pet before. I wanted to hold her and reassure her. So my tech gave the lethal injection. And that was it. And I envy her the peaceful ending that she so deserved.
This week, I've had the joy of having a colonoscopy and a double contrast CT (it was supposed to be a triple contrast but I got lucky...don't ask). The colonoscopy didn't go as planned - the doctor couldn't complete it because even with sedation, I was in too much pain. He couldn't change gears and use another anesthetic (the one he wanted to use I'm allergic to). I was at the ER the week before and he almost sent me back because the pain during recovery was so intense. So at any rate, he settled for the CT scan. I have been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and diverticulitis based on the part of my colon that he could visualize during the scoping. I'm on antibiotics and such for now until the biopsies and scan results come back.
Tonight, I was just looking at my cat, imagining that she must be feeling a bit like me - miserable or at the least, unpleasantly uncomfortable. I just couldn't see hanging on any longer. She started doing these cries yesterday, the kind that are more like little pitiful pleas. I couldn't bare to hear that soul wrenching sound another day. And so, I called one of my techs (she lost her own cat to this same cancer about a year ago - her cat was related to mine). She met me at the clinic. I placed a catheter in her leg, but when it came time, I found I couldn't push the fatal overdose. I have never performed a euthanasia on my own pet before. I wanted to hold her and reassure her. So my tech gave the lethal injection. And that was it. And I envy her the peaceful ending that she so deserved.
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