Best posted in the blog.
Since I've been in NY, I've probably gotten to see more women in the past seven months then I did in 13 years in Lancaster. This city is crawling with them.
I start to think: Say, for once, everything breaks my way. I have a job, and a business that finally works, and by late 2013 /early 2014 I could afford to take a girl out nicely, get married, and have a family.
I would be 44, or older. I question whether a woman would want to get involved with me, or start a family with someone my age. I'd potentially have college payments into my 70s, and could pass away when a child was much younger than I am.
Yet, friends go their own way. My aunts and my dad wont be around forever.
Then, there's the whole fetish issue. Would a vanilla girl really understand about my wanting to play with her feet, tickle her, or stand barefoot on a ladder for me? My view is most vanilla girls would think I'm fucked up.
My mom used to get angry at actors who started families late in life, saying "Their kids will have to deal with geriatric problems early". I was 33 when my mom had her first cancer scare, and my dad had his heart surgery,. I was 40 when my mom got cancer, and 42 when she passed away, and look at how I reacted.
It's a lot to consider. Part of me wants a partner/wife family, and another part says I'm too old.,
My father's family loves to make fun of me because I'm not married at an advanced age. They can go to hell. I discount what they think. Whatever happens, wont be influenced by them.
My mom always wanted grandchildren. I think she was very disappointed I never had them. I'm saddened that I didnt have them for her. I also think "Shes not here to see it, and my dad has Cheryl's grandchildren", but my aunt says I need to have kids, if I want, for me and a girl/wife, and not because of, my mom or my dad.
First things first with job and business, then I really have a lot to consider.
Since I've been in NY, I've probably gotten to see more women in the past seven months then I did in 13 years in Lancaster. This city is crawling with them.
I start to think: Say, for once, everything breaks my way. I have a job, and a business that finally works, and by late 2013 /early 2014 I could afford to take a girl out nicely, get married, and have a family.
I would be 44, or older. I question whether a woman would want to get involved with me, or start a family with someone my age. I'd potentially have college payments into my 70s, and could pass away when a child was much younger than I am.
Yet, friends go their own way. My aunts and my dad wont be around forever.
Then, there's the whole fetish issue. Would a vanilla girl really understand about my wanting to play with her feet, tickle her, or stand barefoot on a ladder for me? My view is most vanilla girls would think I'm fucked up.
My mom used to get angry at actors who started families late in life, saying "Their kids will have to deal with geriatric problems early". I was 33 when my mom had her first cancer scare, and my dad had his heart surgery,. I was 40 when my mom got cancer, and 42 when she passed away, and look at how I reacted.
It's a lot to consider. Part of me wants a partner/wife family, and another part says I'm too old.,
My father's family loves to make fun of me because I'm not married at an advanced age. They can go to hell. I discount what they think. Whatever happens, wont be influenced by them.
My mom always wanted grandchildren. I think she was very disappointed I never had them. I'm saddened that I didnt have them for her. I also think "Shes not here to see it, and my dad has Cheryl's grandchildren", but my aunt says I need to have kids, if I want, for me and a girl/wife, and not because of, my mom or my dad.
First things first with job and business, then I really have a lot to consider.
