More.. junk.. involving my relatives.
I had.. virtually no contact with my father, since the horrible meeting I had with him on May 20th.
I used to keep my phone on 24-7 to wait for his calls when he was calling me every day, from the time I started talking to him after they found my mom's brain tumor, until his requested "break", however long ago that was. .
Now, that we aren't talking.. I keep it off.
I communicate with any places I apply to jobs for through email, and just call people back if I get a message about a job, which hasnt/.doesnt happen (ed)
On Tuesday night, I got a phone message from my father.
I called him back, and he was all snippy. "I called you yesterday". Like the boss snapping at the disobedient employee.
I apologized. He wanted me to get the report from my hospital visit last November, from my internist.. He then proceeded to call her names.
Clearly, he wants to take me to the neruologist so that they can find something wrong with me, to justify them sticking me on SSD, the final piece to his puzzle, and the thing my miserable uncle overtly wished me in 2012.
My aunt the artist .. is a miserable fucking bitch.
A hypocrite of the worst order.
If I dont call her, she's all like "OMG are you okay" in texts, as if she cares one bit.
Then, if I do call her, she lectures me, like a teacher, lecturing a disobedient student.
She rants on, constantly, about her son who is obese, and about her roommate with Asperger's Syndrome.
We have an agreement, that she supposedly doesnt want to hear about anything my father did to me in the past, but if he does something, currently, I can tell her about a current specific incident.
When I told her that I was really upset about how he blew up at me on Tuesday, because I didnt call him back for 24 hours, due to not knowing he called, because I had my phone off, the witch my aunt was like.
"I know all about your father, you've told me about him for years"
All she wants, is to call me, to rant on about her son, and her roommate, and to let out her anger to me.
In my heart, I want to tell her to go to hell, except for my promise to my mom that I would keep in touch with her.
The only people in my real life, who treat me well, thank heavens, are my three best friends,
Adam, Barney, and Tom.
I'm very, very careful about how I treat all of them, because, with as terribly as my relatives treat me, I dont want to alienate my friends
My favorite one, is when my aunt, whose son is in a very specialized field, lectures me about what I should do for work.
"Insurance isnt for you, you should get a "regular job" in an office". The bitch said.
This, from someone, who lived out her dream of being an artist, while taking thousands from me and my mom.
I've looked for/applied to many "Regular jobs in offices". They dont want a 46 year old man with a weak resume. They want people in their 20s for these entry level jobs.
I;m of course continuing to look for jobs, with the same luck I've had over the past twenty months.
I wonder if there are people who love their best friends, but despise all of their relatives.
There are many times I think that if things aren;t going to get better, I really wish it was over.
I'm not going to kill myself, just like something, natural happening, like one of my seizures finishing me off.
The last piece to my father's puzzle, and the reason he wants those medical reports, is to take me to a neurologist. to have it declared that I cant work, and put me on SSD, so that my uncle's wish will come true, Cheryl, my father, and my uncle can have a good laugh, and my father can then turn around and say.
"Sheila (my mom) fucked Mitch up".
Chances are, knowing how my father gets everything he wants with me, that is what will happen.
This is the worst cycle of abuse.
I cant tell my father to go fuck himself, unless I want to be homeless, and he knows it.
"God helps those that help themselves" is the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard.
If that was true.
The law firm would have signed, and I would still be working at Aflac.
Or.
I would have found a decent job, very quickly, to make up for the heartbreak of working so hard, and losing my situation at Aflac.
None of those things happened.
One week from today is my father's favorite day, Father's Day.
I have to contact him to see what he wants to do.
Supposedly, he said "He doesnt give a fuck if I see Cheryl".
I'm hoping, I can just see him for a short time, lunch or dinner, give him his Father's Day gift, and be finished with it, especially if he's as bad to me as he was three weeks ago, when he told me that
"His only regret in life is that he didnt throw my mom in the street".
I dont pray to "God" anymore.
I just dont believe in it.
If my faith in "God" was broken the minute I found out my mom had a brain tumor, was going to die, and then did die, after the way she suffered during her illness, with the cancer, and treatment she endured, and the way I prayed for her to recover.
It was especially broken, when, after how diligently I worked on the insurance exam, and had the huge account waved under my face, I lost Aflac.
Which made bitch Cheryl's wish come true, after she wished me to lose Aflac, before I even had a chance to try it.
After she said her evil wish, and currently, my father, as he always does when someone says/does evil things to me, justified her, saying "That's her mentality, she just believes in jobs".
It's okay with my father that this bitch wished me to lose my insurance career, after how hard I worked on the insurance exam, and to learn the training at Aflac,
If I wished something evil like..
My father to finally come to his senses, and divorce this bitch.
or even.
For Cheryl to fall off the face of the earth.
for her evil wishes to me, and never contacting me, when I nearly died from my seizure in November, I would be a bad person.
I dont know what happens now.
It's just such a terrible cycle of abuse.
I just wish I could find a way out, and disassociate from my relatives.
I had.. virtually no contact with my father, since the horrible meeting I had with him on May 20th.
I used to keep my phone on 24-7 to wait for his calls when he was calling me every day, from the time I started talking to him after they found my mom's brain tumor, until his requested "break", however long ago that was. .
Now, that we aren't talking.. I keep it off.
I communicate with any places I apply to jobs for through email, and just call people back if I get a message about a job, which hasnt/.doesnt happen (ed)
On Tuesday night, I got a phone message from my father.
I called him back, and he was all snippy. "I called you yesterday". Like the boss snapping at the disobedient employee.
I apologized. He wanted me to get the report from my hospital visit last November, from my internist.. He then proceeded to call her names.
Clearly, he wants to take me to the neruologist so that they can find something wrong with me, to justify them sticking me on SSD, the final piece to his puzzle, and the thing my miserable uncle overtly wished me in 2012.
My aunt the artist .. is a miserable fucking bitch.
A hypocrite of the worst order.
If I dont call her, she's all like "OMG are you okay" in texts, as if she cares one bit.
Then, if I do call her, she lectures me, like a teacher, lecturing a disobedient student.
She rants on, constantly, about her son who is obese, and about her roommate with Asperger's Syndrome.
We have an agreement, that she supposedly doesnt want to hear about anything my father did to me in the past, but if he does something, currently, I can tell her about a current specific incident.
When I told her that I was really upset about how he blew up at me on Tuesday, because I didnt call him back for 24 hours, due to not knowing he called, because I had my phone off, the witch my aunt was like.
"I know all about your father, you've told me about him for years"
All she wants, is to call me, to rant on about her son, and her roommate, and to let out her anger to me.
In my heart, I want to tell her to go to hell, except for my promise to my mom that I would keep in touch with her.
The only people in my real life, who treat me well, thank heavens, are my three best friends,
Adam, Barney, and Tom.
I'm very, very careful about how I treat all of them, because, with as terribly as my relatives treat me, I dont want to alienate my friends
My favorite one, is when my aunt, whose son is in a very specialized field, lectures me about what I should do for work.
"Insurance isnt for you, you should get a "regular job" in an office". The bitch said.
This, from someone, who lived out her dream of being an artist, while taking thousands from me and my mom.
I've looked for/applied to many "Regular jobs in offices". They dont want a 46 year old man with a weak resume. They want people in their 20s for these entry level jobs.
I;m of course continuing to look for jobs, with the same luck I've had over the past twenty months.
I wonder if there are people who love their best friends, but despise all of their relatives.
There are many times I think that if things aren;t going to get better, I really wish it was over.
I'm not going to kill myself, just like something, natural happening, like one of my seizures finishing me off.
The last piece to my father's puzzle, and the reason he wants those medical reports, is to take me to a neurologist. to have it declared that I cant work, and put me on SSD, so that my uncle's wish will come true, Cheryl, my father, and my uncle can have a good laugh, and my father can then turn around and say.
"Sheila (my mom) fucked Mitch up".
Chances are, knowing how my father gets everything he wants with me, that is what will happen.
This is the worst cycle of abuse.
I cant tell my father to go fuck himself, unless I want to be homeless, and he knows it.
"God helps those that help themselves" is the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard.
If that was true.
The law firm would have signed, and I would still be working at Aflac.
Or.
I would have found a decent job, very quickly, to make up for the heartbreak of working so hard, and losing my situation at Aflac.
None of those things happened.
One week from today is my father's favorite day, Father's Day.
I have to contact him to see what he wants to do.
Supposedly, he said "He doesnt give a fuck if I see Cheryl".
I'm hoping, I can just see him for a short time, lunch or dinner, give him his Father's Day gift, and be finished with it, especially if he's as bad to me as he was three weeks ago, when he told me that
"His only regret in life is that he didnt throw my mom in the street".
I dont pray to "God" anymore.
I just dont believe in it.
If my faith in "God" was broken the minute I found out my mom had a brain tumor, was going to die, and then did die, after the way she suffered during her illness, with the cancer, and treatment she endured, and the way I prayed for her to recover.
It was especially broken, when, after how diligently I worked on the insurance exam, and had the huge account waved under my face, I lost Aflac.
Which made bitch Cheryl's wish come true, after she wished me to lose Aflac, before I even had a chance to try it.
After she said her evil wish, and currently, my father, as he always does when someone says/does evil things to me, justified her, saying "That's her mentality, she just believes in jobs".
It's okay with my father that this bitch wished me to lose my insurance career, after how hard I worked on the insurance exam, and to learn the training at Aflac,
If I wished something evil like..
My father to finally come to his senses, and divorce this bitch.
or even.
For Cheryl to fall off the face of the earth.
for her evil wishes to me, and never contacting me, when I nearly died from my seizure in November, I would be a bad person.
I dont know what happens now.
It's just such a terrible cycle of abuse.
I just wish I could find a way out, and disassociate from my relatives.
