Shift work...

Jumping through hoops, huh? Doesn't sound like it was unconditional love. =( So sorry you have to deal with this, T. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason. So when a relationship doesn't work out, it's usually meant to help us grow as a person. That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? I hate showing weakness, as well. And I especially hate it when I make mistakes because I usually just beat myself up over it. lol But you do seem to be a very mature person and it looks as if you're handling all this with dignity and honesty.

Take care,

I like what Xena-bear said...someone who makes you jump thru hoops is NOT unconditional love. In all the time I've known you, you never struck me as the type of person who would change yourself to please others. While it speaks volumes about you that you'd be willing to change to please someone else, it's ultimately going to end up in failure If someone is trying to change you after they are with you, then they don't truly want you for you. They only want you for what they think they can make you.

You just continue to be you and don't let anyone try to change you. That's the way someone will truly love you. Hell, that's why WE love you. And anyone who doesn't love and accept you for who you are doesn't deserve the time of day from you.

Just keep being you. That's all anyone who really cares wants from you.

You've got nothing to apologize about, T. You're hurting and it's all good to vent. You shouldn't be jumping through hoops for anyone, babe. If your man loves you like he says he does then you shouldn't ever have to do tricks. I don't even understand how he would feel uncomfortable with you going to Gatherings as it's the same people he's been interacting with here on forum. Anyways, I don't really think there's anything about you that needs to be worked on except not letting assholes treat you like shit. You're a billion times better then that and any man with half a brain should be able to see this.

I think everything has been said already, but I'm sorry to hear it. 🙁 But there will be a day when all of this is just history; all wounds heal with time. Try to keep that in mind. 🙂

We've got your back, Tamia. Let us know if there's anything we can do, that's what friends are for!

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your comments. Honestly, i feel really stupid for even venting about it. My own fault for giving him a second chance. I know everyone says that I'm allowed to vent and all, but nobody wants to hear it 24-7. I don't even wanna hear it 24-7. I feel stupid that I feel bad about the whole thing, I feel like I should just be over it. I want to be a rock, and it's frustrating that I can't be one. I felt that I loved him, and it's heartbreaking to know that he did not feel the same for me. I'm just ready to be over this.

He broke up with you in a TEXT MESSAGE!?!

What, no carrier pigeons available to deliver you the message?

Tamia, I have already talked to you about everything the other night so the only thing I can add here is that you know the person you are and your friends do as well.

You do deserve the best...remember that.

Rob

I love ya, Snicker-Doodle.

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And no, don't feel bad about venting. That's what blogging is for! It just helps keep us sane when we need to get something off our chest.

Well the healing process begins....you have vented, that is a part of healing, now the next part comes, is to move on...you will get better, and this experience only makes you stronger in the long run...just know that we love you no matter what...in the end, its his loss

While I'm sorry you were broken up with, and by text message no less, you deserve someone better, that simple. The right person for you, whether or not he is member of this forum or into the tickling scene, is going to accept you for you and not put restrictions and conditions on who you are and how to behave in order to earn his love in return. That isn't how love is supposed to work and you damn sure are way too awesome a person to have to settle for that. Don't ever sell yourself short. You deserve the greatest guy who will love you unconditionally and want to explore all your interests with you.

Keep your head up, Tamia. I'm always here to talk if you ever want. Much love to you. Go Team Mort Goldman 🙂.

Tam, tell me where to send it and I will ship to you one bop bag. Inflate it, tape a picture of the face of your text-happy ex to the head, and whale away, dear lady!

And the quality of your venting--the reason in the face of the unreasonable, the open heart so apparent--says to me that you're going to bounce back sooner and stronger than you think possible. Hang in there, and don't be a stranger.

We may be silly people on this site, but we DO care for you.

Funny, I'm reading the comments of all you wonderful people, and I hear positive things. He always said that I was negative to him all the time. HE was the negative one, and I think I fed off that. Isn't that what you do? Feed off the emotions of one another? I had brought that up to him at one time, about the constant negativity. How could I not realize that it wasn't me who was always angry, but his daily negative emotions that was sucking me in with it? I know love is blind, but stupid? In the last couple of days, I've felt lost. I feel now like I've been let out of prison. I'm trying not to totally blame him, because it was my stupidity who allowed him a 2nd chance. My changes were into a worse person than I know myself to be. I'm not moody, I don't get annoyed all the time, generally I'm a happy person, until something/someone brings me down. I KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE.........and allowed him to tell me the opposite. Allowed myself to respond to negativity......because I was lonely. Yes, I really need to fix Tamia. Again, thank you to everyone, reading these words of encouragement really helps. Much love to all of you.

You really don't need to "fix Tamia," hon. You just need someone who really deserves you. To the untrained eye, a diamond is just another rock... And this fellow clearly didn't realize what he had. That's his loss, not yours. 🙂

We love you just the way you are, babe. Take some time to move past this and heal your wounds, but understand: the greatest flaw you displayed is no more than happens to any of us at one time or another -- we get fooled.

We get fooled into thinking that someone or something is just right. We get fooled by our emotions into not listening to what reason would tell us. Blinded by emotion's temporary victory over reason, we get fooled into believing foolish things. It can happen in anything to which we fully devote ourselves, and truly believe, and so can be exploited in relationships, politics, religions, and cults. And it is.

You are far from alone, and this flaw doesn't speak of weakness so much as humanity, for we all share it.

I've always thought you were a wonderful person, and I still do. 🙂 And that shared human flaw will be less easily exposed and exploited the next time someone tries to manipulate you in this fashion, because you've learned what to look for. So part of any "fixing" you might feel is needed is really already done. The only other part is the same for anyone who has been made to feel bad about themselves systematically, over time, for no reason: to get your ego back to feeling on par with the character and the person your friends already know you to be.

As said before, you are wonderful and you are missed.

You and I haven`t talked in months but that doesn`t mean you weren`t in my thoughts, Tamia. Send me a pm if you want to talk about it.

Thank you, THANK YOU everyone! I think I need to "fix" myself, because I obviously need to re-learn some things about myself, so I won't allow myself to be in that situation with someone who clearly isn't right for me. Hopefully it will allow me to move along if I don't feel exactly right about something. Thank you for all your encouragement and support. You all are wonderful.