I was browsing through threads in a group on Fetlife when I came across a thread that was directed towards shy people. In there a member posted a suggestion that for some people who appear to be shy might instead suffer from social anxiety/phobia of which she provided a link. I had never heard of it before, but I was intrigued so I clicked on the link.
These are examples the site listed under "What is Social Anxiety?"
There were six examples and above are the ones I personally could relate to. Having felt or do feel about things. Except for the work example, substitute school that has classes where it's expected of you work in groups and give oral reports, then it fit. Four out of six examples, and I could relate perfectly with the descriptions. The fears, the anxiety, the embarrassment, knowing it's irrational.
Symptoms:
Mind you, I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor, but it fits. I always thought my shyness was more extreme, that something's off.
I remember in school, how I would go to great lengths to avoid giving an oral presentation, going as far as faking sick to skip class. Anxiety was the major reason why I dropped out of college because two of my classes I had to do a presentation, talk in front of the class, I got so scared that I skipped class. Then I was too embarrassed to go back because I couldn't face my classmates or my teachers.
Calling people makes me nervous as hell. Even friends, although it helps if I like plan the call ahead of time. Like if I tell a friend that I'll call him Saturday then it's a little easier but I'm still feeling scared. Yet if I do it enough times, like having almost regular phone calls like I do with Bugman or Skype chats with my crazy gang of friends, then I'm comfortable and not so afraid. It took time for me to feel that comfortable, yet if I were to meet them for the first, I'd be scared.
If anyone's read my blogs, you'll remember reading about how scared I was to start reaching out and making more friends on TMF. How I was scared that I make myself look like an idiot, that I would essentially humiliate myself and no one would want to be friends with me. I pushed myself to break through that fear. I still have a hard time approaching people, talking to people but it's better than what it was originally.
Last year as well, I was beyond just feeling nervous about attending MTP because I knew I was not good in social situations. That being in social situations tend to make me feel scared, heart racing, butterflies in my stomach so bad that I feel weak. Amazingly I did well there and I had a blast. 🙂
I knew it was irrational to feel the way I did, to be scared that people would judge me, that I would humiliate myself, but I still felt the anxiety. I had to force myself to confront those fears. Otherwise I knew I would regret it and never do it if I didn't. It doesn't mean I'm not scared about attending other gatherings. I am, but I have to make myself go, to confront the fears. Otherwise this anxiety will dominate my life.
Like I said, I haven't been formally diagnosed, but it fits. It explains everything. And knowing about it helps so I can combat it.
These are examples the site listed under "What is Social Anxiety?"
There were six examples and above are the ones I personally could relate to. Having felt or do feel about things. Except for the work example, substitute school that has classes where it's expected of you work in groups and give oral reports, then it fit. Four out of six examples, and I could relate perfectly with the descriptions. The fears, the anxiety, the embarrassment, knowing it's irrational.
Symptoms:
- Intense anxiety in social situations.
- Avoidance of social situations.
- Physical symptoms of anxiety, including confusion, pounding heart, sweating, shaking, blushing, muscle tension, upset stomach, and diarrhea.
Mind you, I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor, but it fits. I always thought my shyness was more extreme, that something's off.
I remember in school, how I would go to great lengths to avoid giving an oral presentation, going as far as faking sick to skip class. Anxiety was the major reason why I dropped out of college because two of my classes I had to do a presentation, talk in front of the class, I got so scared that I skipped class. Then I was too embarrassed to go back because I couldn't face my classmates or my teachers.
Calling people makes me nervous as hell. Even friends, although it helps if I like plan the call ahead of time. Like if I tell a friend that I'll call him Saturday then it's a little easier but I'm still feeling scared. Yet if I do it enough times, like having almost regular phone calls like I do with Bugman or Skype chats with my crazy gang of friends, then I'm comfortable and not so afraid. It took time for me to feel that comfortable, yet if I were to meet them for the first, I'd be scared.
If anyone's read my blogs, you'll remember reading about how scared I was to start reaching out and making more friends on TMF. How I was scared that I make myself look like an idiot, that I would essentially humiliate myself and no one would want to be friends with me. I pushed myself to break through that fear. I still have a hard time approaching people, talking to people but it's better than what it was originally.
Last year as well, I was beyond just feeling nervous about attending MTP because I knew I was not good in social situations. That being in social situations tend to make me feel scared, heart racing, butterflies in my stomach so bad that I feel weak. Amazingly I did well there and I had a blast. 🙂
I knew it was irrational to feel the way I did, to be scared that people would judge me, that I would humiliate myself, but I still felt the anxiety. I had to force myself to confront those fears. Otherwise I knew I would regret it and never do it if I didn't. It doesn't mean I'm not scared about attending other gatherings. I am, but I have to make myself go, to confront the fears. Otherwise this anxiety will dominate my life.
Like I said, I haven't been formally diagnosed, but it fits. It explains everything. And knowing about it helps so I can combat it.