*Data and Jordi now have a plan to thwart the Borg now all they must do is find a way to execute it.*
Commander Kurch: What do we need to do to execute this plan of yours Data so we can get the Borg to upgrade to Vista?
Data: We will need to create a large enough commotion so that we might overide their security and force the upgrade. A harsh barrage of photon torpedoes or severe injury to any Borg crew member would probably suffice.
Commander Kurch: Excellent. Prepare Photon Torpodoes for firing Warf.
Warf: Aye Aye Commander. Commander I am detecting a large barrage of enemy fire coming form the Borg vessel.
Commander Kurch; Shields up. All primary power to shields.
Data: Yes sir.
*The barrage hits the enterprise and the ship shakes around a lot like it usually does when it gets hit. 😛 *
Commander Kurch: Fire at will Warf.
Warf: Who is Will and why are we firing at him?
Commander Kurch: Its an expression Warf it means fire as often as you can.
Warf: Ahhhhhh why didint you say so. Aye Aye Commander.
Data: Detecting an entity transporting onto the bridge Captain. Its a Borg.
Commander Kurch: Destroy the intruder quickly
*Commander Kurch quickly fires his phaser gun at the Borg but the Borg quickly adapts and the gun does only minimal damage.*
Data: Its no use Commander the Borg are adapting to quickly to our weapons. We will have to physically subdue him.
*All of a sudden widdle Snoogles comes to life and attacks the Borg.*
Commander Kurch: Way to go Snoogles!
Warf: Commander the photon torpedoes are having only minimal effect.
Commander Kurch: Time to take care of business.
*Commander Kurch picks up the bridge chair and whacks the Borg soldier so hard his head comes off.*
Commander Kurch: Quickly Data see if you can access the Borg systems through this soldier while he is down.
Data: Aye Aye Commander
*Data inserts a data probe into the Borgs access portal which is located....well we wont say where exactly 🙂 The Borg soldier rapidly flays around and flings poor widdle Snoogles into the bridge console hurting him severely.*
Warf: SNOOGLES!!!!!
Data: Its working Commander the Borg are upgrading to Vista. All their systems are shutting down.
Commander Kurch: Excellent Data.
Data: We will need to create a large enough commotion so that we might overide their security and force the upgrade. A harsh barrage of photon torpedoes or severe injury to any Borg crew member would probably suffice.
Commander Kurch: Excellent. Prepare Photon Torpodoes for firing Warf.
Warf: Aye Aye Commander. Commander I am detecting a large barrage of enemy fire coming form the Borg vessel.
Commander Kurch; Shields up. All primary power to shields.
Data: Yes sir.
*The barrage hits the enterprise and the ship shakes around a lot like it usually does when it gets hit. 😛 *
Commander Kurch: Fire at will Warf.
Warf: Who is Will and why are we firing at him?
Commander Kurch: Its an expression Warf it means fire as often as you can.
Warf: Ahhhhhh why didint you say so. Aye Aye Commander.
Data: Detecting an entity transporting onto the bridge Captain. Its a Borg.
Commander Kurch: Destroy the intruder quickly
*Commander Kurch quickly fires his phaser gun at the Borg but the Borg quickly adapts and the gun does only minimal damage.*
Data: Its no use Commander the Borg are adapting to quickly to our weapons. We will have to physically subdue him.
*All of a sudden widdle Snoogles comes to life and attacks the Borg.*
Commander Kurch: Way to go Snoogles!
Warf: Commander the photon torpedoes are having only minimal effect.
Commander Kurch: Time to take care of business.
*Commander Kurch picks up the bridge chair and whacks the Borg soldier so hard his head comes off.*
Commander Kurch: Quickly Data see if you can access the Borg systems through this soldier while he is down.
Data: Aye Aye Commander
*Data inserts a data probe into the Borgs access portal which is located....well we wont say where exactly 🙂 The Borg soldier rapidly flays around and flings poor widdle Snoogles into the bridge console hurting him severely.*
Warf: SNOOGLES!!!!!
Data: Its working Commander the Borg are upgrading to Vista. All their systems are shutting down.
Commander Kurch: Excellent Data.
------------- Aboard the Borg Vessel-------
Borg Commander: WHATS HAPPENING!!!
Borg Assistant: It seems we have upgraded to Windows Vista. Not even Vista with Service PacK 1.
Borg Commander: Damn The Federation..... Call Microsoft tech support at once.
Borg Assistant: I have sir the estimated wait time is 15,000 years.
Borg Commander: Curses!!!! I will not forget this Enterprise.
Borg Assistant: It seems we have upgraded to Windows Vista. Not even Vista with Service PacK 1.
Borg Commander: Damn The Federation..... Call Microsoft tech support at once.
Borg Assistant: I have sir the estimated wait time is 15,000 years.
Borg Commander: Curses!!!! I will not forget this Enterprise.
---------------Back To The Enterprise---------
Data: We are victorious Commander. Unfortunately widdle Snoogles has past away.
Warf:
Commander Kurch: Warf your teddy was indeed a true Kingon Warrior. I owe you an apology for doubting him and you. Such a brave being deserves a proper funeral.
Warf: Thank you Commander.
Warf:
Commander Kurch: Warf your teddy was indeed a true Kingon Warrior. I owe you an apology for doubting him and you. Such a brave being deserves a proper funeral.
Warf: Thank you Commander.
------- At Space Dock On The Enterprise------
*All are gathered for the funeral of widdle Snoogles even Captain Picard is there. There is loud bagpipe music in the background.*
Commander Kurch: We are here to say goodbye to our brave friend Snoogles. Of all the souls I have known in the universe his was the most hu.....man.
*bagpipes play even louder as they shoot the coffin containing widdle Snoogles out to space.*
Commander Kurch: CAN WE KNOCK IT OFF WITH BAGPIPES ALREADY!!! ISN'T BAD ENOUGH WE HAD TO EAT HAGGIS ALL WEEK IN THE CAFETERIA!!!!
*the bagpipes stop*
Data: A word if I may with you sir.
*Commander Kurch walks over to Picard and orders a orange soda*
Commander Kurch: Certainly Data.
Picard: An Orange Soda. Make it so.
*Picard the soda machine spits out an orange soda which kurch grabs.*
Data: It seems we have mixed up this parody of The Next Generation with a spoof of a movie from the older series. This bothers me.
Commander Kurch: Dont worry about it Data. Its called poetic license.
Data: There was no poetry here. I dont understand humans very much I am afraid.
Commander Kurch: LOL We dont understand ourselves most of the time. I would not worry about it. Merry Christmas Data.
Data: Its March sir.
Commander Kurch: I know never to early to wish someone a Merry Christmas.
*Data smiles and just plays along*
Data: Merry Christmas sir.
*The ships computer starts to play Jingle Bells as we leave the crew of the Enterprise*
Commander Kurch: We are here to say goodbye to our brave friend Snoogles. Of all the souls I have known in the universe his was the most hu.....man.
*bagpipes play even louder as they shoot the coffin containing widdle Snoogles out to space.*
Commander Kurch: CAN WE KNOCK IT OFF WITH BAGPIPES ALREADY!!! ISN'T BAD ENOUGH WE HAD TO EAT HAGGIS ALL WEEK IN THE CAFETERIA!!!!
*the bagpipes stop*
Data: A word if I may with you sir.
*Commander Kurch walks over to Picard and orders a orange soda*
Commander Kurch: Certainly Data.
Picard: An Orange Soda. Make it so.
*Picard the soda machine spits out an orange soda which kurch grabs.*
Data: It seems we have mixed up this parody of The Next Generation with a spoof of a movie from the older series. This bothers me.
Commander Kurch: Dont worry about it Data. Its called poetic license.
Data: There was no poetry here. I dont understand humans very much I am afraid.
Commander Kurch: LOL We dont understand ourselves most of the time. I would not worry about it. Merry Christmas Data.
Data: Its March sir.
Commander Kurch: I know never to early to wish someone a Merry Christmas.
*Data smiles and just plays along*
Data: Merry Christmas sir.
*The ships computer starts to play Jingle Bells as we leave the crew of the Enterprise*
THE END
