My half sister found me on Facebook today. She lives in Isreal and we talked on the phone for a little bit. I have not spoken to her since I was 7.
We fought for the first time since we got back together. Josie and I that is.
With our current work schedules, we don't get to see each other as often as we used to. Anybody that knows me knows it is important to me to see my partner frequently. We got the whole weekend together because the friend she car pulls with to work got sick and couldn't take her. Well, she has to make up hours during the week, which means less us time. The money situation doesn't help much with gas.
So Friday is the only day she doesn't have to get up early for work, since she's off. Thursday has apparently become a night to go out with her friends and co-workers. When I first learned about this, she assured me I would come before a night club. And her friends. Well... last week, her friends said they weren't going, so we saw each other. It is only today that I found out that right after she made plans with me, they decided they were going. She chose to tell me this in a fight instead of as it happened. :-/
Anyways, as far as this week goes, she will give up going to the nightclub with them to see me since we only get Thursday night and Saturday/Sunday... since I work pretty late on Sat/Sun, fuck my life.
The fight was about how she compromises a lot and I don't, and that I should acknowledge and appreciate that more. Before we got to that point, it was about giving up the nightclub. I tried to ask her why she said it was always a yes for me and no for them if a situation like this came up, but she got quite and cried.
Long story short, we patched things up in about 15 minutes by just communicating. She saw my side, I saw her side. She's afraid I'll tear her away from her friends. I told her she doesn't have to be, because I'm actually looking forward to meeting the people that are important to her and interacting with them.
She apologized for the whole thing and I apologized for any jabs I might have taken at her (verbally) during the disagreement. I was paranoid when I took her home though. Again asking myself what the balance between controlling and not is. And after talking to a few people, I was still fucked. So I woke her up at 1 AM. She has to be up by 6. She picked up as she always does and assured me everything is perfectly fine between us.
I believe her. After processing, I have a more clear understanding of controlling and not. If asked, would I skip out on a night club, or whatever the fuck is an equivalent to that in my life for her? Yes.
She tells me that she'd rather be with me and has more fun with me, but still wants to go out with her friends. This confused me at first, but I understand it now. She has fun in both scenarios, but she would rather have fun with me.
Before, it was what she would give up to be with me that stood out. And now that I told her to keep everything and she has, I understand that I am truly in love with her, all of her, even the shit I don't approve of.
It's not about giving stuff up now for either of us. It's about staying who we are that keeps us together, even if we don't approve of some shit we do.
She finally understands that running away from problems and from me doesn't really solve anything. It's communication and security that will enable us to overcome disagreements.
And I finally understand that it's not about being with her 24/7, it's about how I feel towards her when she's gone, and trusting her to keep me in mind before she does something.
We "fought" because of a miscommunication, and we didn't come anywhere close to breaking up. She didn't want to leave. I didn't want her to.
And from my side of things, I'm in love with this girl like all fuck and will do anything I can AND can't to keep a smile on her gorgeous face.
I do believe she feels the same way.
We fought for the first time since we got back together. Josie and I that is.
With our current work schedules, we don't get to see each other as often as we used to. Anybody that knows me knows it is important to me to see my partner frequently. We got the whole weekend together because the friend she car pulls with to work got sick and couldn't take her. Well, she has to make up hours during the week, which means less us time. The money situation doesn't help much with gas.
So Friday is the only day she doesn't have to get up early for work, since she's off. Thursday has apparently become a night to go out with her friends and co-workers. When I first learned about this, she assured me I would come before a night club. And her friends. Well... last week, her friends said they weren't going, so we saw each other. It is only today that I found out that right after she made plans with me, they decided they were going. She chose to tell me this in a fight instead of as it happened. :-/
Anyways, as far as this week goes, she will give up going to the nightclub with them to see me since we only get Thursday night and Saturday/Sunday... since I work pretty late on Sat/Sun, fuck my life.
The fight was about how she compromises a lot and I don't, and that I should acknowledge and appreciate that more. Before we got to that point, it was about giving up the nightclub. I tried to ask her why she said it was always a yes for me and no for them if a situation like this came up, but she got quite and cried.
Long story short, we patched things up in about 15 minutes by just communicating. She saw my side, I saw her side. She's afraid I'll tear her away from her friends. I told her she doesn't have to be, because I'm actually looking forward to meeting the people that are important to her and interacting with them.
She apologized for the whole thing and I apologized for any jabs I might have taken at her (verbally) during the disagreement. I was paranoid when I took her home though. Again asking myself what the balance between controlling and not is. And after talking to a few people, I was still fucked. So I woke her up at 1 AM. She has to be up by 6. She picked up as she always does and assured me everything is perfectly fine between us.
I believe her. After processing, I have a more clear understanding of controlling and not. If asked, would I skip out on a night club, or whatever the fuck is an equivalent to that in my life for her? Yes.
She tells me that she'd rather be with me and has more fun with me, but still wants to go out with her friends. This confused me at first, but I understand it now. She has fun in both scenarios, but she would rather have fun with me.
Before, it was what she would give up to be with me that stood out. And now that I told her to keep everything and she has, I understand that I am truly in love with her, all of her, even the shit I don't approve of.
It's not about giving stuff up now for either of us. It's about staying who we are that keeps us together, even if we don't approve of some shit we do.
She finally understands that running away from problems and from me doesn't really solve anything. It's communication and security that will enable us to overcome disagreements.
And I finally understand that it's not about being with her 24/7, it's about how I feel towards her when she's gone, and trusting her to keep me in mind before she does something.
We "fought" because of a miscommunication, and we didn't come anywhere close to breaking up. She didn't want to leave. I didn't want her to.
And from my side of things, I'm in love with this girl like all fuck and will do anything I can AND can't to keep a smile on her gorgeous face.
I do believe she feels the same way.
