I went to the family party yesterday, and survived. The people behaved okay, all except the two cousins Sandy and Gail, who interrogated me about my new business, which I dont want to discuss, because its not set up yet.
My biggest problem is my father. We had a long talk last night, even though he was inebriated.
The problem I have with him is how he takes zero responsibility for the problems in our relationship, and justifies all of his family and friends for never trying to help facilitate a reconcilation between us in 20 plus years.
He keeps saying. "I could have let you drown in Lancaster, and your life would have been over". Unnecessary. Would it be good of me to say. "I could have pounded you all the times you threatened my mother's alimony".
Then, in regard to my anger at his family and friends for never trying to help us reconcile in 20 years, his excuse was... "Sheila would never have listened, so they felt there was no point.". What a copout of bullshit. I was 20 years old when my parents split. If someone in his world had come forth with a plan to help, I would have listened. Anyone who knows me, knows that as much as I loved my mom, she couldnt influence me to cross the street, She didnt want me to see him in 2009, after my six years being apart from him, feeling nothing had changed. I went to see him anyway, feeling I wanted to give him a chance. As it turned out, nothing had changed.. it was the same old alimony threats, etc.
He said that my mom held me back from things. This I do agree with, as her own family has said it. His justification was that she didnt want me to leave home for fear he would cut her alimony off. This is bullshit. After college, he never discussed my future with me, and my mom and I were hamstrung. He had made sure our house was foreclosed, so she couldnt get loans for me for grad school, and I couldnt get them due to my tax problerms. The businesses I tried didnt work.
Now hes telling me "You have great potential, I want to help you reach it" A nice saying, but all I really want is the introduction to the lawyer he mentioned, so I can trademark my business. After that, I will go at it myself.
When I express concern about wanting to continue to do sales, so I can raise money, to have my own funds, he keeps saying. "Stop the BS, the money will be there".
Finally, he claims that my bday gift in January is going to be a trip to Las Vegas. This would be nice, as I havent had a vacation in 23 years. He's made a lot of broken promises to me, so when I see it, I will believe it.
I'm just going to have to try and wade through with him. No matter what he says, he cant change my love for my mom. She was my emotional rock, and aided me in so many ways, emotionally and financially, while having far less than him after the divorce. In the meantime, he worried about himself, his family, his women, and his own good times. It wasnt until my mom's end, that he concerned himself about me, after I had given in to seeing his family. Luckily for me, Cheryl has been nice to me, making it easy for me to deal with her. I cant say the same for him or his extended family.
My hope is to get my business up as fast as possible. I dont plan to estrange from him, but I want him to have no control over me. Once that happens, I will feel a lot more secure.
My biggest problem is my father. We had a long talk last night, even though he was inebriated.
The problem I have with him is how he takes zero responsibility for the problems in our relationship, and justifies all of his family and friends for never trying to help facilitate a reconcilation between us in 20 plus years.
He keeps saying. "I could have let you drown in Lancaster, and your life would have been over". Unnecessary. Would it be good of me to say. "I could have pounded you all the times you threatened my mother's alimony".
Then, in regard to my anger at his family and friends for never trying to help us reconcile in 20 years, his excuse was... "Sheila would never have listened, so they felt there was no point.". What a copout of bullshit. I was 20 years old when my parents split. If someone in his world had come forth with a plan to help, I would have listened. Anyone who knows me, knows that as much as I loved my mom, she couldnt influence me to cross the street, She didnt want me to see him in 2009, after my six years being apart from him, feeling nothing had changed. I went to see him anyway, feeling I wanted to give him a chance. As it turned out, nothing had changed.. it was the same old alimony threats, etc.
He said that my mom held me back from things. This I do agree with, as her own family has said it. His justification was that she didnt want me to leave home for fear he would cut her alimony off. This is bullshit. After college, he never discussed my future with me, and my mom and I were hamstrung. He had made sure our house was foreclosed, so she couldnt get loans for me for grad school, and I couldnt get them due to my tax problerms. The businesses I tried didnt work.
Now hes telling me "You have great potential, I want to help you reach it" A nice saying, but all I really want is the introduction to the lawyer he mentioned, so I can trademark my business. After that, I will go at it myself.
When I express concern about wanting to continue to do sales, so I can raise money, to have my own funds, he keeps saying. "Stop the BS, the money will be there".
Finally, he claims that my bday gift in January is going to be a trip to Las Vegas. This would be nice, as I havent had a vacation in 23 years. He's made a lot of broken promises to me, so when I see it, I will believe it.
I'm just going to have to try and wade through with him. No matter what he says, he cant change my love for my mom. She was my emotional rock, and aided me in so many ways, emotionally and financially, while having far less than him after the divorce. In the meantime, he worried about himself, his family, his women, and his own good times. It wasnt until my mom's end, that he concerned himself about me, after I had given in to seeing his family. Luckily for me, Cheryl has been nice to me, making it easy for me to deal with her. I cant say the same for him or his extended family.
My hope is to get my business up as fast as possible. I dont plan to estrange from him, but I want him to have no control over me. Once that happens, I will feel a lot more secure.
